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Re: Relationship Help - Is it wrong to be so needy?
haha. well, I know he's freaking out b/c the 1 yr is coming up and he knows I'd like to marry him after we graduate. The most likely answer is that we're just being stubborn with each other. But maybe he's starting to get scared of the future.
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Re: Relationship Help - Is it wrong to be so needy?
I think maybe you're reading too much into a little deal here J.
Sure, asking what you've asked for means a lot to you, and it's not fair that he's then mentioned his ex into the whole bargain, however if he's "uber affectionate" with you still then it suggests that he's not about to call the whole thing off.
He may well feel uncomfortable coming out with a few lines to you before you say goodnight, but maybe that'd change if you compromised and said you don't expect it every night but maybe once every few or something.
One thing he does have to change though is making you feel insecure in the relationship. Like it or not, women do feel more insecure than guys a lot of the time, and it'd be churlish to lose a relationship he may be very into just because he can't express how he feels about you.
You two need to talk about these points. It doesn't have to be a "if we can't agree then we need to break up" type of chat, just a "reassurance and compromise" agreement.
Relationships don't stay good by just letting them flow aimlessly, you have to talk and work on stuff along the way if there are issues.
Re: Relationship Help - Is it wrong to be so needy?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyler Durden
I think maybe you're reading too much into a little deal here J.
Sure, asking what you've asked for means a lot to you, and it's not fair that he's then mentioned his ex into the whole bargain, however if he's "uber affectionate" with you still then it suggests that he's not about to call the whole thing off.
He may well feel uncomfortable coming out with a few lines to you before you say goodnight, but maybe that'd change if you compromised and said you don't expect it every night but maybe once every few or something.
One thing he does have to change though is making you feel insecure in the relationship. Like it or not, women do feel more insecure than guys a lot of the time, and it'd be churlish to lose a relationship he may be very into just because he can't express how he feels about you.
You two need to talk about these points. It doesn't have to be a "if we can't agree then we need to break up" type of chat, just a "reassurance and compromise" agreement.
Relationships don't stay good by just letting them flow aimlessly, you have to talk and work on stuff along the way if there are issues.
Best advice so far.
*He does have the most experience though since he just celebrated his 100th wedding anniversary!!*
The destruction of the past is perhaps the greatest of all crimes.
- Simone Weil
Re: Relationship Help - Is it wrong to be so needy?
Maybe he is confused on what you are asking him about. If you haven't already, perhaps giving him some examples of what you mean by "stories"...
And now, here it is...your moment of Carlin (12/3/2008)
Violent American movies like Die Hard, Terminator, and Lethal Weapon do very well in places like Canada, Japan, and Europe. Very well. Yet these countries do not have nearly the violence of the United States. In 1989, in all of Japan, with a population of 150 million, there were 754 murders. In New York City that year, with a population of only 7.5 million, there were 2,300. It's bred in the bone. Movies and television don't make you violent; all they do is channel the violence more creatively.
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Re: Relationship Help - Is it wrong to be so needy?
Thanks all. Tyler, we do have those talks. Though much like a man, I hate talking about a relationship. I put it off whenever I can and try to do it via phone instead of face to face. Anyways, we did have a long phone convo in which he did admit that he's been nervous b/c all his exes push for a set future and that he also misunderstood and thought I wanted long stories about how we're going to get married immediately, have lots of babies, and I'll let him support me for the rest of my life every night until he dies (there's that set future that the exes push for). I set him straight. -Please, does that sound like me at all? He apologised for bringing up the ex too.
Re: Relationship Help - Is it wrong to be so needy?
I think sometimes the exs do come into conversation, not intentionally and not forany specific reason, such as to hurt you. He shared time with this person and of course there'll be similarities. But seen as he apologised, good good.
I also think youre reading a little too far into it, but it sounds to me like maybe he is worrying about the future and what you expect of him and is getting a little stressed out about it and thats why hes snapping at little things. Like people said before, you need to talk.