Dear Uncle Bulldog....

Tyler Durden

I have disabled by PM function. The reason being that I no longer wish to receive the many 1,000's of PM's I currently receive from you young "whippersnappers" constantly asking for my advice on the many sexual, romantic, lifestyle and domestic issues that you have for which you need the benefit of my great aged wisdom.

Therefore, I have decided to open this thread where I can tackle the most important issues you all have in an Agony Aunt style.

I believe it would be theraputic for many of you to just ask the questions openly in front of the rest of the class (forum) and I shall endeavour to assist you all with any of the problems you are having.

Don't be afraid to ask me anything that is troubling you. The only questions I will not answer is that one thirty7 keeps asking about how he can keep hair off his feet. I'm not answering that one again.

Reilly

I just PM'ed you.

Im scared of really attractive girls sometimes. My friend has a great looking girl staying with her for a few weeks, and we've basically been "set up" for Saturday night, and for some reason, Im not as pumped up to hit that shit as I should be.

Help me Bulldog. Maybe I need viagra.

Give it time

Tyler Durden

Dear Concerned of Spud Lane,

Your concern is perfectly natural. History itself has taught us that whenever a "Quasimodo" type tries to partake of an evening of fornication with an "Esmerelda" type, tragedy looms not too far away.

As I see it, your "fears" could be allayed with a simple undertaking. Utilising the modern "internet" simply obtain your potential concubines e-mail address and send to her a picture of you looking as handsome and debonair as possible. Communicate also to her a couple of your finest ice breaking "stories".

Women are creatures that can, in some circumstances be "laughed into bed" therefore you give yourself a double chance of success as if she doesn't find your stories "witty" then she sure as hell will bust a gut looking at your facial mannerings.

As regards the use of Viagra. Personally, I abhore the use of pharmacuticals in the boudoir, however if it 100% necessary, would Rohyphnol or any simple horse tranquiliser in her liquid refreshment not produce an equally pleasant end to your evening.

For any more information on drugging women or impotence in the Irish please feel free to call my 1-800 number that I have PM'd to you.

Good luck and thanks for listening

Reilly

That sucked and didnt help at all. Thank you

Give it time

Sal

I have a problem!

I am just a tad over-weight, not as in obeesed, but just a tad of extra baggage. :redface:

Lets see if uncle bulldog can help.

And maybe he can help me find my stalker. :smile:

Reilly

Get to the gym sally

Give it time

Sal

Yes sir....:frown:


Thats it, I am going to Dr.Phil :mad:

Tyler Durden

Quit dispensing the advice. You have neither the qualifications nor the maturity to handle the tactile requirements and the sensitivity.

Are you pulling yourself off to me chastising you??

For shame Reilly, for shame

Rest assured advice will follow soon Sal

Sal

Whateva.

Can I ask you to shoot Reilly now? :biggrin:

Jodes.

i also have a problem:ermm:

see i'm a female that posts women. i get pm's all the time asking if i'm a lesbian. NO I"M NOT. i just think a women's body id beautiful and should be shown at all times. is that wrong? also they always ask me for my nude picture. HELP ME!!!!!!!

^^click to join

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Female i am not Male