Embarrassing sex stories

Jayman · 11-04-2009, 02:24 PM

Come on, we're all friends here (most of us). I think we should all be comfortable describing our sex lives to eachother, and providing pictures, if necessary.

So, did something embarrassing happen to you when you were under the sheets? (or perhaps in front of the computer, you nasty boy) Maybe you were caught by someone else, or had some issues with gas passing, said the wrong name of your partner in the heat of the moment, etc etc.....

We promise not to snicker (much) but detail your embarrassing sex stories here. I'll even give ya a rep for giving us the juicy story.*

*rep not mandatory

The Pope · 11-04-2009, 02:49 PM

You start then, seeing as it was your idea.

Jayman · 11-04-2009, 02:58 PM

Fair enough.

I've never been actually CAUGHT in the act, but there was a close call once. My g/f lived in a dorm in college with her roommate, and on Valentine's Day we headed to her room after dinner while her roommate was away. Things were gettin a little heated on her futon and we started "rounding second base" if you will. Just before some clothes were about to come off, we heard the key in the door -- her roommate was getting back MUCH earlier.

Keep in mind she lived in a small dorm that was essentially one room, so there wasn't anywhere to hide. In the short amount of time she unlocked and opened the door, we quickly jumped off eachother and jumped to opposite sides of the couch (it didn't help that all lights were off in the room, too). When she turned on the lights, no doubt she saw us with our red faces and clothes a bit wrinkled up.

The only other embarrassing moment I can think of was a couple months back when my wife and I were going at it on the bed. Unknown to us, my dog jumped on the bed and when she started licking my feet (keep in mind we were in the middle of it), it took me so off guard that she was even up there I let out ..what I will call a "high pitched squeal". My wife starting laughing her ass off, and bingo-bango, the mood was gone.

I wanted to punt that damn dog.

Daddy · 11-04-2009, 03:07 PM

Although I don't like talking about this stuff anymore I will give one.

When I was 18 and in the Marines I was in Okinawa, Japan. Well after a heavy night of drinking we got off the bus in Camp Hansen and didn't feel like staying on base. (By we I am meaning my friends and myself). So we decided (well I brought up) that we need to go to a whore house and there was one just outside of Camp Hansen. We walked over to it and it was like a big apartment building with a sign out front. We go in and I being the first one to want to go slap down 20 dollars and go up to the room. This is after a long night of drinking remember and whiskey dick was a go. Well after about 15 minutes of me thinking I am knocking the bottom out of it the mama san walks in and her and the whore start having a conversation like I wasn't even in the room. I was sweating, breathing hard and everything else that goes with it. After about 5 minutes of there convo and me still not getting a nut I just get up pull my pants on and walked out of the room downstairs and didn't say a word to no one. I just kept my head down. I sobered up a bit after that. It was an embarassing time for me.

The Pope · 11-04-2009, 03:14 PM

My first time, I was 14, was just getting the clothes off and I heard my dad shout me, I quickly put my trousers on, and run to the door.

My dad walks in, see's the naked girl under the covers and leaves. He shuts the door, all I can hear is him laughing as he went back downstairs.

We carried on needless to say, afterwards he said to me "Lucky your mother didn't walk in, he would've had her out of the house you know that?"

Freak · 11-04-2009, 05:43 PM

A few years ago, on a camping trip, my then-girlfriend and I were doing it on some rocks by the ocean when a kindly old German man who was camping on the bluffs above came and politely asked us to stop. He said, "Maybe you can try again tomorrow?" and we both burst out laughing.

Inogenius · 11-04-2009, 07:18 PM

So has anyone ever run into any issues with a queefer?

Back in my old place, I had this girl over. My room mate and his girlfriend were over, just watching TV I think. The girl and I started going at it, and literally maybe 10 minutes in, she unleashed the biggest fucking queef I could ever imagine. Now it was clearly because of the sex, but it was ridiculous. I pulled out immediately because it was so startling, and then we both started laughing. Then as we got quiet, I could hear my room mate and his girlfriend rolling on the floor laughing. Clearly they were able to figure out what just happened. I ended up not even finishing with sex and instead just getting a BJ, but it was ridiculous. I've never had it happen again since then either.

Freak · 11-04-2009, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Inogenius
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So has anyone ever run into any issues with a queefer?

Back in my old place, I had this girl over. My room mate and his girlfriend were over, just watching TV I think. The girl and I started going at it, and literally maybe 10 minutes in, she unleashed the biggest fucking queef I could ever imagine. Now it was clearly because of the sex, but it was ridiculous. I pulled out immediately because it was so startling, and then we both started laughing. Then as we got quiet, I could hear my room mate and his girlfriend rolling on the floor laughing. Clearly they were able to figure out what just happened. I ended up not even finishing with sex and instead just getting a BJ, but it was ridiculous. I've never had it happen again since then either.

I dated a girl who would do that from time to time, and always in bursts (that's a gross word for it, but you know what I mean). Like she would do it once really loud and we'd laugh, and she'd get self-conscious and I'd try to calm her down, then it would happen again and again until we finished. Then it wouldn't happen for another six months, and then it would happen again.

Vaginas are weird.

That same girl also found toilet paper in my buttcrack once, true story.

iamthedestroyer · 11-04-2009, 08:13 PM

Once got a blow job in a park at night by a major street. Was under some trees and at the time I figured nobody really saw, but in hindsight I'm pretty sure a lot of people saw....

Marshall · 11-04-2009, 08:36 PM

when i first started going out with my ex (who i met at her best friends bday party) well she was playing around then gave me a BJ after which i said "That was awesome Naomi", the name of her best friend, didn't realised my mistake at first until i realised she was staring at me with a look of disgust.

wonder why it never worked out lol

Embarrassing sex stories

This is a discussion on Embarrassing sex stories within the General Discussion forums, part of the Non Wrestling Forums category; Come on, we're all friends here (most of us). I think we should all be comfortable describing our sex lives ...