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| I don't think its happened yet. |
Surely there is something that has happened in your current past that you feel has influenced you into being the person you are today.
I think that there are many defining moments in everyones lives but it really comes down to which one is effecting you the most at the current time. There are two moments in my past that are defining my life right now.
The first is my primary school and early high school education. I was considered below average intelligence in primary school and any improvements I made were taken for granted, to the point that when I started high school I was in the bottom sets for all of my classes. By the end of my first year in high school I had been moved up at least one set in every class, and in certain classes I'd been moved from the bottom set to the top set. My improvements not only got noticed by the teachers though and I was targetted by my so called friends as a swot or a nerd (as if intelligence is something to be looked down upon) and made to feel like I didn't deserve the praise I was recieving. So, I stopped trying. I did the bare minimum to get by and to this day still struggle to do my very best for fear of being mocked for my effort. It's affecting my college work currently and even though everything I've handed in thus far has recieved top marks, I'm ridiculously behind with many assignments and will simply recieve passes at best for those. It's incredibley disappointing because I know I can do better than I am, I'm just struggling to get into that mindset.
The second is a weekend that happened in 2007. The last Thursday in May '07 to the first Tuesday in June marks the worst five day period in my life. Just three months before I had proposed to my then girlfriend and she had said yes. However that Thursday night she accused me of no longer loving her and split up with me, not only calling off our engagement, but ending our relationship (I later found out she did this simply to get a reaction out of me because she felt taken for granted and hadn't actually wanted to split up, women are retards). We had been together for over three years and she was the love of my life up until that point, and is still in fact the only girl I have ever been
in love with. That knocked me for six, but I had the weekend to recover and get back into work... It would likely all have been fine if the following Monday evening I recieved a text from a friend I hadn't spoken to in years informing me that a mutual friend of ours (and one of my very closest friends) had died that day. What happened next was the deconstruction of the life I had built for myself over the previous five years. I lost my job, my flat, ended up living with my mum again, spent an entire month in bed getting up only to go to the toilet, eating only when my mum brought me food. I hit complete rock bottom and had to be prescribed anti-depressants simply to be able to get out of bed in the morning.
As depressing as all that was, it was a huge turning point for me. I made contact with a group of friends I'd lost touch with, I decided to go back to college so I could go to uni and get a job that actually made a difference, and I started work (with one of my best friends) on a graphic novel project. I am currently as happy as I could possibly be, and other than really needing a job and wishing I could motivate myself a little better and get over the fact that other peoples opinions actually dont matter, my life is great.
If it wasn't for those two moments, I wouldn't be the person I am today, and I love the person I am today.
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