This is a discussion on Favorite Movie Quotes within the Entertainment forums, part of the Entertainment Forums category; Just one sentance, at the end of the first Jaws movie
Chief Brody: "Smile you son of a bitch".................
Holden: If the buzz is any indicator, that movies gonna make a lot of bank.
Jay: Buzz? What Buzz?
Holden: The internet buzz.
Jay: What the fuck is the internet?
Tomorrow's Just An Excuse Away, So I Pull My Collar Up And Face The Cold, On My Own. The Earth Laughs Beneath My Heavy Feet, At The Blasphemy In My Old Jangly Walk.
Scarface: Yo The Guy, did you kill my dog, B? (The Guy wakes up, shakes his head no, and goesback to sleep). I believe him yo. I don't know why, I just do
Brian: I got this "Jerry Garcia in a pouch", man. I bought it on the street from a guy named Barry Garcia
Thurgood: Who's he supposed to be, Jerry Garcia's brother or something?
Brian: No, ANDY Garcia's brother, man
Thurgood: Don't worry Kenny, we just need to raise 10% of a million dollars, which by my calculations is...
Brian: Fucking impossible, man!!!
Thurgood: OK Kenny, how long do you think you can last in here?
Kenny: I don't know. 5....5:30 maybe?
Thurgood: Yo, get me a box of condoms and some of that stuff we used to eat back in the day...what was it? Oh yeah, *****
Bob Saget: Marijuana is not a drug, ok? I used to suck dick for coke. Did you ever suck dick for weed?
Brian: First of all to understand what happened to killer, you gotta understand who killer the dog was. Now killer was born to a three-legged bitch of a mother. He was always ashamed of this, man. And then right after that he's adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz he's a small time gun runner and a rotweiler fight promoter. So he puts killer into training. They see killer's good. He is damn good. But then he had the fight of his life. They pit him against his brother nibbles. And killer said "no man that's my brother, I can't fight nibbles" but they made him fight anyway, and killer, he killed nibbles. Killer said "that's it!" he called off all his fights, and he started doing crack, and he freaked out. Then in a rage, he collapsed, and his heart no longer beat. wow.
The Guy: Hey, is it January?
Thurgood: Nah man, it's August
Thurgood: Man, after Smoke-A-Lot smoked my stuff, he opened up to me like I was Barbara Walters. He told me about his lawyer...
Smoke-A-Lot: He had sex with my momma!!!
Thurgood: Religion
Smoke-A-Lot: God, if you're listening....help me!!!
Thurgood: His health
Smoke-A-Lot: The doctor said I need a backiotomy
Thurgood: His love life
Smoke-A-Lot: I'm impotent!!! Get away from me biotch!!!
Samson: I've got your little Mexican friend
Scarface: Yo, I'm Cuban B...
Samson: Yes! Cuban Bee
Thurgood: The guys were asleep, I had to make my move...Hey Mary Jane, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to get together, and get some ice cream or something
Scarface: HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! MOTHERUCKER SAID "ICE CREAM", B!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Location: Gated residence 40 miles outside London.
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Gary Johnston: We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a ***** to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!
Spottswoode: Remember, there is no "I" in "Team America". Intelligence: [pause] Yes, there is.
Gary Johnston: Oh, I get it. I'm supposed to get in your car and let you put your finger inside me. Then if I go down on you I get a movie part.
Spottswoode: Please, Gary, I'm not from Hollywood. I'm not going to fuck your mouth and my time is extremely valuable.
Spottswoode: From what I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.N.C.E has gathered, it would be 9/11 times 100. Gary Johnston: 9/11 times a hundred? Jesus, that's... Spottswoode: Yes, 91,100. Chris: Basically, all the worst parts of the bible.
Spottswoode: Great job, team. Head back to base for debriefing and ****tails.
Helen Hunt: Let's go, bitch. I've done action films!
Spottswoode: Team, this is all my fault. I was overzealous in Cairo. I let racism cloud my judgment. I was so sure the ultimate terrorist was Middle Eastern, but I didn't realize he was a goddamn Gook. I'll never be a racist again.
Gary Johnston: I'm leaving. I'm out. Spottswoode: No, Gary! You can't leave! We need you now, more than ever! Gary Johnston: Don't you see what's going on out there? Everyone hates us! Spottswoode: Hey, now, everyone hated Winnie the Pooh, too. Gary Johnston: No, they didn't! Spottswoode: Well, I did. That ****sucking bear killed Jack Kennedy!
News Reporter: Team America has once again pissed off the entire world by blowing up half of Cairo
Carson: "The Terrorist" is getting away with the WMD. Joe: I got him
[fires a rocket at the terrorist, it misses and hit's the EiffelTower causing it to collapse] Joe: Damn, I missed him!
Chris: [not moving] I was nineteen years old when the musical Cats came to our town.
[Gary stops and listens] Chris: I couldn't wait to see it. After the show I was asked if I wanted to go meet some of the performers backstage. Man, I was thrilled. But when I got back there, they were drunk and out of control. Rumpus Cat and Macavity kept feeling up my leg. I tried to leave, but, Rumpleteazer held me down, and... I was raped by Mr. Mistoffelees.
Chris: Let's get one thing straight, actor. I don't trust you. And if you betray us, I'll rip your fucking balls off and stuff them up your ass so that the next time you shit, you'll shit all over your balls, got it? Gary Johnston: What's your problem with me? Chris: Yeah, you wanna go? Joe: Guys, guys, guys! Don't you see this is just what the terrorists want us to do? The war is out there, man! Out there! Now, pull it together!
Kim Jong Il: Do you have any idea how fucking busy I am?
Kim Jong Il: Now you see, the changing of the worrd is inevitabre! Lisa: I'm sorry, it's what? Kim Jong Il: Inevit, inevitabre. Lisa: One more time. Kim Jong Il: [shouts] Inevitebre! Jesus Christ, open your fucking ears!
Gary Johnston: OK, a limosine that can fly. Now I have seen everything. Spottswoode: Really? Have you seen a man eat his own head? Gary Johnston: No. Spottswoode: So then, you haven't seen everything.
Spottswoode: Attention. Attention, everyone. All you in the audience should go to your homes now. Your countries need you, but the world will be safe, thanks to a brilliant actor named Gary Johnston.
[Crowd applauses as Gary kisses Lisa] Spottswoode: Let me explain to you the kind of man Gary is. He's a man who knows that when you put another man's **** in your mouth, you make a pact. A bond that cannot be broken. He's a man so dedicated that he will get down on his knees and put that **** right in his mouth.
Tim Robbins: Let me explain to you how this works: you see, the corporations finance Team America, and then Team America goes out... and the corporations sit there in their... in their corporation buildings, and... and, and see, they're all corporation-y... and they make money.
Kim Jong Il: It will be 911 times 2356. Chris: My God, that's... I don't even know what that is! Kim Jong Il: Nobody does!
song: ["End of an Act"] I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark, When he made Pearl Harbor. / I miss you more than that movie missed the point, And that's an awful lot, girl. / And now, now you've gone away, And all I'm trying to say, is: Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. / I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school, He was terrible in that film. / I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part, He's way better than Ben Affleck. / And now, all I can think about is your smile, and that shitty movie, too! Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. / Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies? / I guess Pearl Harbor sucked, just a little bit more than I miss you.
Gary Johnston: Your skills are fading with age, Mrs. Sarandon. Susan Sarandon: You will die a peasant's death!
Kim Jong Il: Hans Brix? Oh no! Oh, herro. Great to see you again, Hans! Hans Blix: Mr.Il, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today, but your guards won't let me enter certain areas. Kim Jong Il: Hans, Hans, Hans! We've been frew this a dozen times. I don't have any weapons of mass destwuction, OK Hans? Hans Blix: Then let me look around, so I can ease the UN's collective mind. I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me in, or else. Kim Jong Il: Or else what? Hans Blix: Or else we will be very angry with you... and we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are. Kim Jong Il: OK, Hans. I'll show you. Stand to your reft. Hans Blix: [Moves to the left] Kim Jong Il: A rittle more. Hans Blix: [Moves to the left again] Kim Jong Il: Good.
[Opens up trap, Hans falls in]
Joe: One of the terrorists is trying to tell us something.
[looks through binoculars] Gary Johnston: [waving the distress signal towards Joe and Chris] It's me! It's me! Joe: Looks like he's saying, "Kiss me! Kiss me!" Chris: Smart-ass motherfucker!
[fires missile at terrorist jeep]
Kim Jong Il: [gibberish] Translator: My lord said that if you did not understand what he said, then his translator translated it wrong, and that he should... fire his translator?
[Kim Jong Il shoots the Translator in the head]
song: The hour's approaching to give it your best / And you've got to reach your prime / That's when you need to put yourself to the test / And show us the passage of time / We're gonna need a montage / Ooh, it takes a montage / Show a lot of things happening at once / Remind everyone of what's going on / In every shot, show a little improvement / To show it all would take too long / That's called a montage / Girl, we want a montage / In anything, if you want to go / From just a beginner to a pro / You need a montage / Even Rocky had a montage / Always fade out in a montage / If you fade out it seems like more time has passed in a montage...
Spottswoode: Gary, if for some reason your cover is blown, and the terrorists take you prisoner, well, you'll probably want to take your own life. Here, you'd better have this.
[hands Gary a hammer]
Kim Jong Il: [to terrorists on a giant monitor] Who's responsibre for browing up Panama? Terrorist: We were upset about Cairo. Kim Jong Il: Goddamnit, how many times do I have to tehr you? You don't use the WMDs untihr you see the signahr! I have worked ten years on this pran! It is a very precise, and a compricated pran! I am sick of you terrorists fucking it up! Now take the weapons where I tord you and wait for the *goddamn* signahr this time! Goodbye!
[shuts off monitor, and cools down] Kim Jong Il: Why is everyone so fucking stupid?
Joe: Shit! I've got five terrorists going southeast on Bakalakadaka Street!
Chris: If there's a world left when this is all over, I'd like to buy you a beer.
Chris: What does Spottswoode see in him? Lisa: I don't know. But I think I see it too.
Sean Penn: Last year I went to Iraq. Before Team America showed up, it was a happy place. They had flowery meadows and rainbow skies, and rivers made of chocolate, where the children danced and laughed and played with gumdrop smiles.
Spottswoode: Now hold on team, Gary has already proven to me that he is 100% committed to the team. He proved it last night by sucking my ****. Joe: Uh... Alright then. Let's move.
Gary Johnston: But, I thought you weren't gay? Spottswoode: This isn't about sex, Gary, it's about trust!
Joe: You remember the signal? Gary Johnston: [waves arms like crazy]
Lisa: I'm so confused! Lisa: It's too early for me to be having feelings for you. Gary Johnston: Maybe feelings are feelings because we can't control them.
Lisa: Promise me you'll never die. Gary Johnston: You know I can't promise that. Lisa: If you did that, I would make love to you right now. Gary Johnston: I promise I'll never die.
Lisa: [to Gary] You had me at "dicks fuck assholes".
Alec Baldwin: By following the rules of the Film Actor's Guild, the world can become a better place; that handles dangerous people with talk, and reasoning; that, is the *** way. One day you'll all look at the world us actors created and say, "wow, good going, ***. You really made the world a better place, didntcha, ***?"
Janeane Garofolo: As actors, it is our responsibility to read the newspapers, and then say what we read on television like it's our own opinion.
