From the Vault: Old Promos

Major League Stroke

We’re standing by in the backstage area with Roderick Kyle and the young intern who attempted to get his foot in the door with CWA by interviewing the man known as “The Chosen One”.

Roderick Kyle
So, after everything that happened last time, I’ve decided I was a little hasty and that this kid showed some moxie trying to get an interview with me.

Reporter
You’re not gonna hit me with a guitar again, are you? [He says trembling with fear]

Roderick Kyle
Nah, man, we’re gonna be thick as thieves. I’ve decided that I like you. I want to hire you as my personal interviewer.

Reporter
Yay?!

Roderick Kyle
Larry, can I call you Larry?

Larry
Um, sure... just don't hurt me.

Roderick Kyle
Great… so Larry, have any questions that I just know you have burning away inside you to ask me?

Larry
Last time we spoke, you made some candid remarks about how you felt you were seen by the fans and promoters of CWA. How does your loss to Chubby Carlos affect this view?

Roderick Kyle
First off, Larry… I did NOT lose to Carlos. That fat son of a bitch couldn't roll me over for a pin if I was hiding a cheese burger in my tights. He got lucky and the referee made an incompetent mistake. I got my shoulder up before the count of three. Go back and look at the tape. When I get back in the ring with the momentously large slap ass, I’ll tan his hide. Just you wait an see.

Larry
How do you feel about your upcoming match at Exile?

Roderick Kyle
To be perfectly honest, it’s a match made by monkeys. My German Sheppard could have booked a more competent PPV. I am the chosen one, I should be on the main portion of the Pay-Per-View. Instead I’m rotting on the under card with the rest of the losers and curtain jerkers. If there’s one thing I’m not, it’s a curtain jerker. As for my opponents this evening, we have Billy Hatcher. Didn’t I already bust your ass, Slappy? So, you want to stick your nose where it doesn’t belong?! Fine, bring it into the ring at Exile, I’m gonna send your slap ass packing back to the Indies. That’s the only place where you can hang, I assure you.

Larry
What are your thoughts on the man teaming with you, Austerio?

Roderick Kyle
I’ve seen this kid go, he’s not a bad talent but if he’s going to get in the ring to watch my back, he needs to bring it. Major League Stroke needs to come out of this show looking like a million bucks. If this kid shows up at Exile and brings it, I may have a nice surprise in store for him.

Larry
A surprise?

Roderick Kyle
[Kyle holds up a Major League Stroke t-shirt]
Just sayin’. [Kyle throws the shirt over his shirt]
We’re looking towards bigger and better things, Austerio can be apart of it and trust me, he’s going to want to be apart of it. I’m going to win the Ruler of the Ring and go onto fulfill my destiny at long last. I will be the CWA Champion and you can choke on that, Slapnuts!
I’ve got a match to prepare for, this interview is over.

Roderick starts walking off camera...
before walking back into frame and kabongs Larry with an acoustic equalizer!
Roddy leans over.

Roderick Kyle
Sorry, I lied.
Stroke out.

Feed cuts out.

Victor Thompson

Originally Posted by Stylesofpunk

*Victor is at a Lions Den*


Victor: So I got a match with the sex goddess Ari Bravado. Well why not come to the store where he probably shops and buy him a gift for our match tonight.


*Victor is looking at XXX movies*

Victor: Nah the dude probably gets himself off while looking at himself in the mirror so that one is out of the picture.

*Victor next is looking at a blowup doll*

Victor: Why do these things look so surprised? Well it can’t be because of his package maybe mine but definitely not his. Again that is out of the picture.

*Victor next is looking at sex toys and he turns one on and it moves*

Victor: What the bloody hell is this? Well he probably would be green with envy over something bigger then him so again another one out of the picture.

*Victor looks at outfits*

Victor: Well look at here is a maid’s outfit for a little stuck up bitch well I found what I’m getting for Ari. He is no sex goddess like come on who wants to get with that really. I mean maybe that whorish Victoria Stone maybe but come on she would literally have to go into prostitution because he couldn’t bag her on his own. Maybe after I beat his measly ass from one corner to the next I will take him under my wing give him a new look that actually is presentable to the ladies.

*Victor starts to laugh*


Victor: Or I can just beat his ass and rearrange his face so he isn’t recognizable. If I do that though he is going to have to pay Victoria even that much more money and all he will get is a (radio edit)

^That was one of my favorite promos I ever wrote I was making myself laugh

Rich Stone

Originally Posted by Franchise Tag

Adrenaline Rush comes back from a commercial and the camera is over the arena. The crowd is buzzing in anticipation for more action. The lights in the arena go out and a single spotlight hits the middle of the ring. The spotlight shows Rich Stone sitting in a director type chair in a black Armani suit and sunglasses. There is a microphone sitting on his lap but he doesn’t look ready to talk just yet. He takes off his sunglasses and then lifts the microphone up.

Rich: Last Sunday night at Redemption, was the biggest injustice to occur in CWA since the last redemption. For those of you who are not up to date with the events that transpired. Let me inform you of what happened. See I am not your world heavyweight champion anymore because of the handy work of Nicolas Kennedy Arsen.

The crowd starts to chant NKA. Rich starts to show disgust at the way the crowd is acting.

Rich: You people enjoy seeing that stuff. You enjoey watching me get robbed over and over again, and have nothing done about. I have been keeping count on how many times this has happened, and the number is three. Redemption last year, when Doc Adams cost me my first CWA title reign. The second was when Guardian Devil was a sore loser, and eliminated me from the rumble, after I did the same to him. And the final one was the worst of all, when NKA came into my battle and screwed me out of MY CWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!

The crowd starts chanting, “Thank you Nick”

Rich: This time however, I am not going to sit patiently and attack when the time is right. No, this time I am going to get what is mine, and I am going to take it back as soon as physically possible. Listen up Orlando, I want my rematch, and I want it tonight. Me vs. Roberto tonight for the CWA world title.

The crowd chants for the huge main event suggested.

Rich: I want you to know Orlando that was not a request, it was a demand. I demand my rematch, and if you deny my request, all hell will break lose. I will systematically take you roster out piece by piece. People will be laid out, and their blood will be on your hands Orlando. It is up to make the next move. Try and test me, I do whatever I want because this is my world.