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5/19/08 -- Kansas City
RAW's theme song hits and pyro goes off throughout the jam packed Kemper Arena.
JR: Welcome to this very special and sure to be historic RAW!!!!
Before Lawler can chime in, "No Chance In Hell" plays over the PA system. The fans, who'd usually boo the evil chairman, begin the cheer out of excitement. They all know what's planned for tonight, and have heard the rumors that WWE has bought out TNA. Vince struts his way down to the ring.
Lillian Garcia: Please wecome the WWE Chairmen, Vincent Kennedy McMahon!
JR: Well I think these fans have a idea of what's coming.
Jerry Lawler: But are the rumors true?
JR: I don't know, but I'm definitely intrigued by what the chairman has to say.
Vince stomps up the ring steps and then climbs into the ring. He looks at the crowd and has a cocky smile plastered on his face. He grabs Lillian's microphone without even looking at her and motions for his music to be cut. The arena is now silent with the crowd looking at Vince in anticipation.
Vince McMahon: Well a few weeks ago I was reviewing World Wrestling Entertainment's finances and statistics, like I usually do... and I noticed, well... I noticed that ratings, merchandise, and interest are all down. Not just a few numbers, their really down. Now, I always tell you that it's all about the mun-ay. Well that stands true.
The fans remain silent, still awaiting the big announcement.
Vince McMahon: I've come to realize that the last few years I've let my success come to my head. I've been giving out a half-assed product and just haven't cared what you people think. Now, I still might not care much about you people, but I care about my company. And I realize something needs to change.
The fans give out a small pop, now knowing the rumors are true.
Vince McMahon: I'm sure you've all heard the rumors, and I'm here to confirm them. Yes it's true. I've bought out TNA.
The fans pop big now knowing that the rumors weren't fake.
Vince McMahon: This is a move that I think will help everyone involved. I now am in control of TNA iMPACT!, the TNA roster, and the TNA staff.
The fans are still buzzing, and Vince motions for them to be silent again.
Vince McMahon: But I'm not done. Obviously this isn't the first time I've grabbed my competition by the throat and bought them out. But back then, the industry wasn't in the slump it is in now. Buying out TNA just wasn't enough. I need to do more. I'm Vincent Kennedy McMahon, damnit, I'm one of the most successful buissnessmen in this country. So I thought, what can I do to make the product fresher?
The crowd cheers, but not knowing what else Vince could possibly be talking about.
Vince McMahon: Well, the WWE will be going through a number of changes. For one, the 2008 Draft Lottery which will begin tonight. Another thing, ECW will be getting a prime time slot on Sci-Fi Network every Tuesday. And speaking of ECW, I've gotten rid of that bumbling idiot Mike Adamle.
The fans pop for all of these announcements.
Vince McMahon: But oh, I'm just getting started. Do you people remember a few weeks ago, the King Of The Ring Tournement? William Regal, come out to this ring right now!
There's a few seconds of silence, but Regal clearly didn't want to keep the chairmen waiting as his gloomy music hits immediatley. The fans boo the RAW General Manager and King Of The Ring as he makes his way down to the ring. Regal has a napkin and is wiping his face as he sweats heavily. He looks worried as he makes his way down to the ring.
JR: My god, I never thought I'd see this but the chairmen really is going all out to better the WWE!
Jerry Lawler: But what could he want with Regal?
Regal is in the ring and his music comes to a stop. Vince gives him a stare for a moment as the fans are still buzzing.
Vince McMahon: Regal, a few weeks ago I came out here and told you that I fully endorsed what you were doing with RAW. Well, I've been looking at the ratings and they've went even further down every time your on the screen. And frankly, I don't like your attitude. I'm the boss Regal, not you.
The fans are liking where this is going, letting out a pop.
Vince McMahon: So I'm officially retiring you of your duties as General Manager.
The fans pop big time as Regal looks at Vince with shock.
William Regal: But Vince--
Vince McMahon: YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!
William Regal shakes his head and gets on his knees praying to the chairmen to reconsider.
Vince McMahon: Get the hell out of my ring!
Vince kicks at Regal, and Regal falls down before scrambling out of the ring and to the back. Vince looks at the crowd who is staring in admiration.
Vince McMahon: Now that that's over with, it's time to introduce your new RAW General Manager. Someone who has a true mind for the buisness, someone who knows... that controversy creates cash! Eric Bischoff!
The crowd is so caught up in the excitement that they even pop for Bischoff! "I'm Back" blasts over the PA System and out comes Eric Bischoff. He stands at the top of the RAW stage with a cocky grin on his face.
Vince McMahon: Now, Regal's not the only one who's been relieved of their General Manager duties. Vicki Guerrero and Armando Estrada haven't done the ratings any favors either so please welcome the new Smackdown! General Manager, Theodore Long!
"Macmilitant" plays over the PA System and Theodore Long comes out to the stage. The fans cheer for the returning fan favorite General Manager.
Vince McMahon: So obviously ECW's going to need a General Manager as well, right? Well ECW is going to need someone with a mind for the buissness too. Someone... who fits the ECW set of mind. Someone sadistic, evil, and brilliantly violent. Paul Heyman!
"Mental" comes over the arena and the crowd jumps to their feets as the true innovator of violence comes out to the stage. He shakes hands with Theodore Long and then spits on Bischoff! The crowd pops again for the Messiah Of ECW!
Vince McMahon: As for TNA, it will remain it's own brand and will take part in tonight's draft lottery. Please welcome Jim Cornette!
The TNA iMPACT! Zone theme plays and Cornette walks out with a proud smile. The crowd cheers for Cornette as well and all four new General Managers stand at the top of the stage before recieving a table and chairs to sit in from the production crew. The crowd begins to calm down and Vince raises the mic to his mouth.
Vince McMahon: Now, some of you may be wondering about another rumor that has been leaked around the internet all over the world. Four ex-WWE stars will be returning to boost the ratings. Four of the biggest WWE stars of all time. Two of these stars will be revealed tonight and will be eligible to be drafted. One will be representing ECW tonight, while the other won't be in action. But please welcome the first of these four huge returning stars... because...
"It's Vader Time". The crowd pops as Big Van Vader walks out to the stage looking menacingly at the crowd and the General Managers. He raises his arm before exiting.
Vince McMahon: As for tonight's draft lottery, the rules are that there will be five four corners matches with stars representing RAW, ECW, Smackdown!, and TNA. Each mach will go by elimination rules and the General Managers will get their picks by elimination order. That is all for now, but believe me when I tell you... the best is yet to come.
"No Chance In Hell" hits again and Vince struts to the back.
JR: My god, what a way to make a impact!
Jerry Lawler: And did you hear him JR? The best is yet to come?! How can it get any better?
JR: I have no idea what Mr. McMahon has left up his sleeve.
*cut to commercial*
*back to RAW*
Lillian Garcia: The following contest is a special elimination four corners Draft Lottery match.
The ominous music of Umaga hits with symbols crashing and loud island stomping. The crowd pops for the Samoan Bulldozer as he makes his way out to the stage.
Lillian Garcia: Representing RAW, weighing in at 350 lb. from The Isle Of Samoa, Umaga!!!
An irish theme hits and out comes Finlay accompanied by Hornswoggle. Finlay has his shillelagh in one hand as Hornswoggle runs down the ramp and under the ring.
Lillain Garcia: Representing Smackdown!, weighing in at 235 lb. from Belfast, Ireland accompanied by Hornswoggle, Fit Finlay!
"Ain't No Stoppin Me Now!" hits and Shelton Benjamin walks out, as always determined. He pauses at the stage and looks at the General Manager's table before walking down the ramp to the ring.
Lillian Garcia: Representing ECW, weighing in at 245 lb. from Orangeburg, South Carolina, Shelton Benjamin!
Curry Man's theme song hits and the RAW audience begins to do the Curry dance! Curry Man comes out doing his Curry dance as the crowd is going crazy! Everyone's doing the Curry dance!
Lillian Garcia: Representing TNA iMPACT!, weighing in at 224 lb. from Tokyo Japan, Curry Man!
Curry Man is on the turnbuckle doing the Curry dance! Lillian exits the ring and the bell rings.
*ding, ding, ding*
Umaga charges at Curry Man and knocks him off the turnbuckle, tossing him in the ring. Finlay and Shelton Benjamin go to the ring apron and Umaga pounds away at Curry Man who's laying in the corner. Umaga picks Curry Man up out of the corner and whips him into the ropes. Curry Man comes back to Umaga who goes to clothesline him but Curry Man ducks only to come into Umaga's arms and then get hit with a Gunn Slinger to a Urange spinning Curry Man across the ring.
JR: This is not the WWE debut Curry Man was expecting!
Jerry Lawler: But what can he expect when he goes up against the Samoan Bulldozer, Umaga?
Umaga covers Curry Man for a 2-Count. Umaga looks at the referee threatingly before Shelton Benjamin tags himself by slapping Umaga in the back. Shelton gets in the ring and begins to stomp on Curry Man as the referee sends the savage Umaga to the ring apron. Shelton gets Curry Man to his feet and then lifts him up for a powerbomb. Shelton runs at the corner to powerbomb Curry Man into the turnbuckle but Curry Man manages to reverse it by hitting a sunset flip into a bridge! 1-2-oh! Shelton gets up and clotheslines Curry Man.
JR: Close call for Shelton Benjamin, Curry Man almost had him.
Jerry Lawler: That would've been hugely embarrassing for the Gold Standard!
Curry Man gets up and is hit with an Exploder Suplex from Shelton Benjamin. Shelton covers Curry for a 2-count. Shelton complains to the referee before lifting Curry Man up. Shelton goes to whip Curry into the turnbuckle, but Curry Man reverse whips Shelton. Curry runs at Shelton but Shelton moves. Curry jumps onto the second turnbuckle then hits a crossbody. The two roll-over a few times before Curry Man has Shelton in a pinning predictimant! 1-2-3! Shelton is in disbelief!
Jerry Lawler: Oh my god!! Curry Man just pinned Shelton Benjamin!
Umaga charges back into the ring and floors Curry Man with a Yakuza Kick. Umaga climbs up the turnbuckle and hits a Diving Headbutt. Umaga covers Curry Man, but only gets a 2-Count! Umaga looks ready to hit the referee when Curry Man gets up and rolls out to the apron. He springboards and hits a missile dropkick to the back of Umaga. Umaga hardly flinches, and turns to see Curry Man doing a Curry dance! Umaga hits the Samoa Spike! Umaga covers Curry Man for the 3-Count.
JR: Curry Man's eliminated! It's down to RAW & Smackdown!
Finlay runs into the ring and begins connecting with forearms to the chest of Umaga. Finlay runs at the ropes before getting hit with a Samoan Drop from Umaga. Umaga covers Finlay for a 2-Count. Umaga places Finlay's head in the bottom turnbuckle and walks over to the opposite corner. He goes crazied eyed and lets out a savage roar before running at the turnbuckle only for Finlay to move out of the way! Finlay then hits a drop toehold and locks in a crossface! Umaga tries to get to the ropes but Finlay has the crossface in! Umaga manages to grab the ropes and Finlay gets up and stomps on Umaga's arm.
Hornswoggle then comes out from under the ring and spits the green mist in Umaga's face! Finlay gets Umaga up by the hair and goes for the Celtic Cross but Umaga knees Finlay in the face. Hornswoggle climbs up to the top turnbuckle and Umaga Yakuza Kicks him off knocking Hornswoggle to the outside! Umaga turns and hits Finlay with the Samoan Spike! Umaga covers Finlay for the 3-Count! (11:03)
*ding, ding, ding*
Lillian Garcia: And your winner... Umaga!
Umaga's music hits and Eric Bischoff stands up from the table applauding him. Umaga leaves the ring and Bischoff picks up a mic.
Eric Bischoff: Well done, well done.
Bischoff smirks.
Eric Bischoff: Before I announce my first draft pick, let me just say... it feels great to be back. And just to know that when the industry is in a slump, I'm who Vince calls... oh, it's just a marvelous feeling. As for my first draft pick, it's no suprise that I'm going to pick the WWE Champion, the Game, Triple H.
Theodore Long: Well playa, I'll follow suite and pick the World Heavyweight Champion, The Undertaker!
Jim Cornette: I too will pick the obvious, the TNA World Champion isn't going anywhere! Samoa Joe!
Paul Heyman: ECW needs their champion too, the Big Red Machine Kane!
JR: Well, so far the rosters haven't changed. All four shows have kept ahold of their World Champions.
We head backstage where Vince McMahon is strutting down a hallway. Suddenly, Eric Young pops out of nowhere.
Eric Young: Vince-Vincent-Mr.- um, hi- wait, no- Mr. McMahon what's up yo- I mean-
Vince cuts him off.
Vince McMahon: Eric... what do you want?
Eric Young: Well, um, Vinc- I mean, sir. Since your my new boss, I just, uh, wanted to make sure... y'know, that you didn't fire me.
Vince looks puzzled, and blankly replies.
Vince McMahon: No...
Eric smiles and nods excitedly.
Eric Young: Gee, thanks Vin- I mean, Mr. McMahon! Yes!
Eric claps his hands together and walks away excitedly as Vince looks on in confusement.
*cut to commercial*
*back to RAW*
Lillian Garcia: The following contest is a elimination four corners Draft Lottery match.
"La Vittoria e' Mia" plays over the PA system and the crowd begins to boo the self-proclaimed 'Milan Miracle'. Santino walks out with a microphone.
Santino Marella: Stop it the music!
The crowd boos the english language mangling italian.
Santino Marella: Now I don't know what all of this, ahem, Totally No Stop Lotion talking is all the about... but I am the sick of it! This is the Double U Double U E, not the T and the A! So get it out of-
Santino is cut off by Rhino's music. Rhino's music hits and Rhino comes out to the ramp to a pop raising his arms.
Lillian Garcia: Representing TNA, weighing in at 270 lb. from Detroit Michigan, Rhino!
The sound of a train hits and out comes Smackdown!'s resident Asian redneck, Jimmy Wang Yang. He throws his hat to the crowd and runs down to the ring.
Lillian Garcia: Representing Smackdown!, weighing in at 200 lb. from Austell Georgia, Jimmy Wang Yang!
There's a breif silence, but then "One Of A Kind" hits and the crowd erupts! None other then Rob Van Dam walks out to the stage and the crowd chants "RVD!". RVD walks down to the ring confidently and Paul Heyman stands up applauding him.
JR: My god! It's RVD!
Lillian Garcia: And representing ECW, weighing in at 237 pounds from Battle Creek, Michigan, Rob Van Dam!
*ding ding ding*
RVD is on the turnbuckle and goes out to the apron as Jimmy Wang Yang and Santino Marella start the match out. They lock up then Santino goes behind Wang Yang and hits a backside slam. Wang Yang spins over to a wrist lock, and Santino gets to his feet. Santino reverses the wrist lock to a arm wrench. Wang Yang somersaults and then hits a jumping heel kick knocking Santino down. Santino gets back to his feet and is hit with a spinning leg lariat. Wang Yang climbs up to the top turnbuckle as Santino gets to his feet and then hits a crossbody for a 2-Count. Wang Yang gets Santino up and whips him into the ropes before hitting him with a hurricaranna for a 2-Count. Wang Yang wraps his legs around Santino's neck but Santino twists over and locks in a bridge to get out of it. Both get up and Santino pokes Yang in the eye. Santino then goes for a snap suplex, but Yang reverses into a small package which gets another 2-count. Yang tags in Rhino who charges into the ring and hits Santino with a Gore!!!!
JR: GORE!!! GORE!!! GORE!!!
Rhino covers Santino for the 3-Count. RVD then climbs up to the top turnbuckle and hits a side kick on Rhino knocking him down. RVD hits a handspring moonsault and then quickly gets back up and hits the Rolling Thunder. 1-2-oh! RVD gets Rhino up, but Rhino hits some elbow shows to the gut. Rhino kicks RVD in the gut and then hits a snap DDT. 1-2-oh! Rhino tags in Wang Yang and Wang Yang goes to whip RVD into the turnbuckle but RVD reverse whips Wang Yang. Wang Yang runs up the turnbuckle and goes for a moonsault but RVD sidesteps him and then hits a martial arts kick to the face of Wang Yang. RVD signals to the crowd, then climbs up the turnbuckle and hits the Five Star Frog Splash! 1-2-3!
JR: Wang Yang's out!
Rhino runs into the ring going for the Gore, but RVD does a split to duck the move, and then hits a hurricaranna. Van Dam goes for the split-legged moonsault, but Rhino lifts up his knees. Rhino then locks in a surfboard hold on RVD. He pulls the arms back as his knee goes into RVD's spine. RVD struggles in anguish to get out of the hold. RVD manages to begin to stand and then lifts his leg up kicking out of the hold. Van Dam arm drags Rhino and then hits a enziguri. RVD signals to the crowd again before hitting another Five Star Frog Splash for the 3 count. (7:42)
*ding, ding, ding*
Lillian Garcia: And your winner, Rob Van Dam!
The crowd looks to the General Manager's table awaiting Paul Heyman's pick.
Paul Heyman: Three letters... RVD!
The crowd erupts and RVD smiles signaling to the crowd before exiting to the back.
Jim Cornette: Well someone has to change things up, and I guess it'll be me. TNA's second pick is nothing but quite possibly the biggest star in the WWE at the moment... John Cena!!!
Theodore Long: As big of a pick as that is, I can't help but be happy with Smackdown!'s second pick. Another huge steal, the Olympic Gold Medalist... Kurt Angle!
Eric Bischoff: Well RAW's second pick will be another RAW mainstay, the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels!
*break to commercial*
(will finish later)
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