| Hello, My name is Johnny Cash, and this is my Raw report.
I havent posted a review in a little bit cuz honestly I havent seen the shows or PPV..I had sh*t to do..And considering watching and writing about wrestling falls behinf seeing boobs, going to school, getting drunk at bars, seeing boobs, and having to wake up for job interviews..I had to pass on writing a review..Since i hate people who comment on sh*t without seeing it..That alwys bugs me..The messge boards are full of.."i didnt see it, but from what i read..." Thats crapU cant get wrestling from lists of moves or peoples opinions on sh*t..Its entertainment..U have to be there and be entertained or not to talk about it..
So I saw Raw.>And i will now review..Bitches
We start with Foley coming down..The foley I like..The cheap pop getting cheaping plug making..I was gonna try to make that intoa Ric Flair ripoff..But i cant think of anything..Thats the risk u take when u get drunk and write sh*t..Well he sells the PPV match (didnt see it..aint gonna comment)..Says he is sticking around till next week..Has found himself..Then gets interuppted by Evolution..Now with a new video..Gets no heat at all..But know one knew who the hell was coming down..(a chance for all the HHH conspiracy guys to claim he did it cuz he got no heat, but could blame it on the lack of recognition of music and whatnot)..Orton does all the talking here..I liked this promo allot..I like where he is going..Seriously, he has allot of Flair in him (All HHH haters can make another joke here)..Foley says he aint proved anything..Orton says he dont have to, like Mick did..In the end we get Foley goading Orton into attacking him..then a Foley attack..Fololwed by a heel beatdown..Then a save by Snow and Maven..Hell, it suprised me..But I like it if done right..Maven can give good promos on Foley talking to them about the buisness. in tuff e'nuff (props to anyone getting that spelling)..And HHH trying to keep them out and making people quit..PLus Al is his friend..ANd mavens trainer..I like the possibilities..
Next Bish yells at May and Moolah..Ehh..I dont really care..Not a grewat joke anymore..There are better ways to get a heel over..Plus Bish is allready a heat drawin heel.>We dont need cheap crap..
Dudley Boyz & Ivory vs. Rodney Mack, Christopher Nowinski & Jazz (w/ Long)
I really dont care about Mack..Or Ivory (unless she is naked..man is she just some kids real hot mom that is a total fantasy)..The one thing I like about this is the inference of why Dvon always has to get the tables..Cuz hes black for those not paying attention..Hes definitally going heel..And since hes is a brother by a diff mother(or father i dont remember)..I think the fighitng Milatos will rule with him and Mack..I just wish Long was on commentary..He amuses me to no end..All in all..Ivory pinned the she-male..Nowitshi is getting screwed in this angle..He has talent in my mind..Dvon will turn..Mack sucks..Long rules..For shizzal my Dizzle..Suck me..
Poll for the guy joining Evolution..Ohh yeah..Someone is joining them..I forgot to add that to the opening interview..As a side not..I swear to god i guessed this right..Ill explain my reasons later..Though they were wrong..I still guessed the guy right..
Kane and RVD talk..If they lose tongiht they are breaking up..Thats the point..ANd Kane is a new man..Other then that RVD cant talk.>Now i enjoy stoners like everyone else..But hell the man cant to drama..They need to make him Spicoli from FastTimes..I was hoping to Christ when Kane gave his speach, RVD would say.."Wooahh Narrrly"
Snow and Foley reminis..Maven says he is facing Orton..Foley will be there..Could have been funnier given snow and foley..But served it purpose..
Lance Storm vs. Garrison Cade
Lance comes down..Rookie in the ring..Rokkie will win this no matter what..But i liked what happened next..Stone Cold comes down..Mocks Storm the whole match about how boring he is..Fairly amusing..More importantly..Starts a good angle for Storm who had nothing..Plus the new guy gets a win..If he doesnt suck they can hype that..Good transformation of character bit.
Chris Jericho & Christian vs. Goldberg & Booker T
I actually liked this match allot..3 outa 4 guys amuse me here..And Goldberg doesnt offend me..Plus they all worked hard here..Goldberg sold the shoulder more..We had some good heel stuff by Y2J and Xian..Many have complained on the end..But I have allways been a firm supporter of the HOnk Tonk theory..ESPECIALLY for a new belt (which it basically is..now)..Let a heel keep it..That everyone thinks should lose..But let him keep it by cheating.>The crowd will be soooo damn hot for him to lose it after like 5 months..That when someone does.>They will lsoe it and the guy is a HUGE face..Thats why Xians booking doesnt suck if this is their theory..Make him look inferior but keep the belt..Pisses everyone off..Thats a damn heel..Course I could be wrong ..
Bish calls out Mulah..She comes down..Break..I dont like the breaks for commercial..Granted I Tivo this thing cuz im to lazy to watch commercials..But still..Breaks up sh*t..Dont give people a reason to leave.>Especially when the ratings are down..
Eiother way shes gonna face test..I have no clue about him..He sucks..Had some good heel stuff going with Stacy (cuz shes hot)..It aint gonna translate to him abusing non-hot people..Or anyone else..She was the draw.>Well the legs and Ass were the draw really..But thats jsut symantics..Whateva..Stiener is made ref by Austin..Comes down..Test pumphandle slams Mulah..End of segment..Ill give teh old broad the respect though.>She takes some bumps..And when your bones are half dust..Thats impressive..BTW my bone is more then half dust after seeing the replay of her in a thong..
Jackie helps Rico get ready..I think they should just call there alliance "Gay? Duh?"..Give his angle that makes allot of sense..
Rico (w/ Jackie Gayda) vs. Spike Dudley
Sucked..Sucked more then Rico looks like he has..I dont like these Gay angles..He seems to be the same as the q**r with the blond hair in WCW..Whateva the hell his name was..Hot chick..Gay dude..This doesnt amuse me at all..Plus this match wasnt that good at all..Goloddust is funny maybe gay..Either have the balls to make a "gay" wrestler a total f*g and wussy..Or dont try..Not like wwe hasnt played on other sterotypes..
Austin talks to Rvd and Kane..There was something earlier with an assant being told to get them..btw..I dont like to add that sh*t cuz i dont care..Unless the chick is really hot..Either way..Austin wants them to win it for America..I do to..But this dooms them..Granted teh french are a week wristed group of people..But given the circumstances..LE Frogs are gonna win this one..
Maven (w/ Mick Foley) vs. Randy Orton (w/ Ric Flair)
Ill give this one the benifit of the doubt.>They are pushing young guys..IN a fued i think i might like.>The match wasnt much..Foley got involved at the end..Helped with Mr. Socko..Got some good pops..Match wasnt great..But this is a post PPV..So hopefully its the start of something good..Which it could be..The match was only a solidifying action that a fued was to take place..
La Resistance © vs. Kane & RVD – World Tag Team Titles
Now Le main event..Le fags get beaten down by Kane early..Lots of moster refernces.>He looks good out the gates..The match went well from a story point..Kane got to be dominate for a bit..The americans worked as a team..The Frenchies ate cheese and acted gay or whatevere the french do in confilcts (ie not fight back)..In the end misscomunication causes and Kane/RVD loss..They needed to break up and go singles..This is a good way for them not to fued right off the bat.>or will be once i tell u what happened..
Evolution comes down..Syas they picked Kane..I thought he was gonna go crazy heel in this match and join right there..But hell i got the uy right..Give me a break..Darsh still hasnt picked the right guy and look how many he has tried with,,Im jsut kidding..I didnt mean guys..I meant underage girls..Silly me.
Either way Austin comes out and offer Kane Evolution or a Title shot,..
BIch then offers..That..But of he loses he unmasks..
In the end Kane chokeslams HHH..
I like this..Kane needs something new..If they can pull a good unmasked angle for him (never really scared..depressed cuz he was living a lie..something like that)..I lthink it could be some good sh*t..Let Kevin Dunn write some good soap opera crap that he likes..PLus it puts him in the main event pictyure.>And kinda defacto RVD, since he has to get dragged into this somehow..Solves allot of problems if worked well..
All and all, I liked the future of this show..Im not gonna say i liked this show by its self..But I liked a whole lot of things that could come out of it..Orton being pushed as the next Flair..Kane getting a new identity..Storm getting a new identity..The foley/snow/maven stuff..There are allot of ways they can go that seem good now..I think this may be a show no one remebers now..But if this sh*t pays off.>Everyone is gonna be saying how they saw it coming and site this show..Its gonna be like very great game in sports..No one went to see it.>But everyone says they were there after....
As a side note..The French are gay |