johnnycash

Hello Im Johnny Cash and this is my Raw review.

I didnt do a smackdown review cuz a "friend" came in town..And i had the choice of writing about wrestling on the internet..Or seeing boobs..If u question my decision youve been in chat rooms to long.

Now onto Raw..

I liked this show..Not a great technical show..Not a whole lot of wrestling..But hell remember wrestling is only a third of the WWE's name..1/3 world 1/3 wrestling 1/3 entertainment..And this show did something that allot of wrestling matches havent been able to do..Get people excited about matches or characters..Though not to pile onto HHH (insert your own gay joke there), but the crowd really isnt into whats going on with him..

Aside from that this show was like a speed freak running away from the police on COPS.. It started well..Took off once they saw the lights..Then it tripped over a curp (cuz they are messed up)..But then got running and you know u cant catch a speed freak (screw you if i rip of chris rock..he aint readin..no one is)..Then it went cruising..being all entertaining as it darted through bushes. Then at the very last second..Just when it could have gotten away..it hid under a kids pool in someones yard..And it was caught..And beaten..I shall explain as I go..Or not..Screw you


First we get the Rock arriving and rocking the people like a prevebial hurricane (not a real one..or a wrestling one)..Either way the crowd is digging it and the rock is in full on face mode..Im hyped..Granted im drunk to thats easy..But still

Next the speed freak trips on the curb and stumbles..

Trish Stratus & Ivory & Jackie v. Jazz & Victoria & Molly Holly.

Now I am the first one to be in favor of boobies..And granted the chance of boobs pooping out is 3x better here then a reg match..I still dont care..They worked an OK match..Nothing great..The problem as I will say over and over again..Is that it has to be wrestling or entertainment (or both in certain rare cases)..this is neither..they need to choose one..Get the girls that can wreslte and let them wrestle..Get the girls that are hot and let them strip..Its just that easy.At least in my mind..Its why we dont watch the WNBA when it running at the same time the NBA is..Cuz the guys can do it better..Why watch an inferior product..Why watch boobs? Thats a dumb question..Hell just have the hot ass divas run up and down a beach in slow mo..Made Baywatch the most watched TV show..

Meanwhile Goldberg is here in a damn nice car and doesnt wanna talk to Coach..Who the hell does? Maybe Coach from Cheers but not this Brynat Gumble wannabe..

Next stacy dumps Test..Test is mad..I can see where he would be mad there.>She is hot..Why is the guy the bad guy when he gets pissed when a chicks breaks up with him..But its a good thing when some dumb broad burns a guys car in that stupid chick flick movie i cant think of right now..But whateva..My point is made..How come its soooo bad to mak fun of blacks or jews or woman..But make fun of a guy..Its funny..Look at adds..I want you to watch adds and replace half the shirtless fags in those adds with woman..Ohh it would be sexist..Or everyother add when a guy is portrayed as dumb, or a sortslover, or any other stereotype u can pull..Its all good fun..Bbt say a jew likes money..Or a Black person likes friend chicken..Then u are a horrible racist and basing your views on stereottypes..Unless u are that race or religion.then u can say it..cuz your funny again

Wow..Nice to be back from that rant..Ohh yeah Wrestling

Hurricane v ?

Hurricane comes down then goes down..Not in that way..fags..We get a cheap shot by randy Orton then a interview time with team evolution..Im not gonna go into details cuz it wont do it justice..But this segment kicked ass..We get Flair calling out HBK saying he never passed the torch (some HHH sucking up..which i think is fine..why must everyone say this is all backstage sh*t..everything here was within character)..Orton also cracked me up with his facial expressions..I think he is gonna be damn good in the near future..Then an HBK rebuttal..He took the torch..Its gonna go somewhere else (Flair anus for those who didnt get it)..I wish there was a way to postpone the Nash/HHH match..Cuz people are way into this match and Flair and HBK are getting it way over..Its gonna overshadow everything here..Ill explain a theoty i think shouldhappen later so as not to spoil..

Scott Steiner v. Stevie Richards

Ill give you the highlights here..Steiner makes Stacy enter and exit the ring a few times to begin with..If u dont know what im talking about ur an idiot..Test comes out..The match ends..Bishoff out..Match of the PPV..Stacy enters and exits the ring a few more times..Nothing like the body part of a valet being more over then two "established" wrestlers..but hell..I would see her ass for 5 min before i would watch a match with those two..Actually or any 2..WWE should know this..U cant promote tits or ass then give us two half naked guys..No one is gonna care about the guys..

Freddie Blassie apperently jsut died..That really sucks..I stole allot of material from him in the IOFW here an KYN..Thank god no one called me out on calling people a pencil necked geek..

Now the speed freak has regained his balence and takes the F off

ish makes the the main event macth..Then agress to what ever the hell is a redneck triathalon is with Austin

Next geldgerg interview..Which Y2J shows up on the screen during and dumps paint on his ride..Goldberg is pissed and takes off after him

Next is teh highlight heel..With Xian..Now called the Peep show..Thats funny..Interplay between him and the rock with is money about being the peeps champion..Rock goes into the crowd to prove his point..Y2J comes out and regains control..Rock comes back..Y2J asks what its like to be speared since he has never been...Some interplay which is amusing..A heel beatdown..A face save by booker..Then a peoples elbow and a spinaroonie each done by the other guy..Good freakin stuff..Amused the hell out of me.

Xian and Y2J try to leave..Austin stops em

And HHH is up to no good out of the offiaclas rooms

Booker T & Goldust vs. Chris Jericho & Christian


These wantred a quick match..Why didnt they get them selves DQed?? Aside from that not to bad..Heels lose

Goldberg out..Spears ref by mistake..Good bump by the ref..Lots of goldberg being sad he speared him..Makes Jerico look like more of a heel..Another match set up well..

Plus Xian and Booker is set up well..Those both the heels seem to be set to lose

Now tye refs explain the HHH thing..I guess injury was threatened and HHHs past history of hurting refs is brought up..No one wants to ref it..Austin says he knows someone crazy enough..Hopefully Foley or Funk

Main event time..

I thought this match was pretty damn good till the end..We had some good interplay of all the fueds going on..Each guy had beef with another guy from the other team..And that seemed to be the goal of each guy..Which it shgould be..HBK had his leg worked over for Flairs figure 4..Nash went after HHH when he had the chance..And hurricane and orton battled when possible..All till the end..When the speed freak thought hiding under the kinds pool with his leg sticking out was a good idea..HHH pedigreed the most obvious person here Hurricane and Orton covered..The ref made something wierd by counting till 2..then checking the shoulder..then asking for the bell..After which a face beatdown occured..They claimed it was cuz of HHHs intimidation..but it just came off odd..I didnt like it

Other then that and the very beginning of the womans match and the steiner/test thing..I likes this show allot..It put over the matches like it should..And made us kinda care about kane again..All and all i liked it

Side notes:
Ther was a promo for some new woman wrestler which i caught the end of.And really dont care unless she is really hot

Also there was a sigh that read "I neughtered my dog and now he is french" that is comic brilliance!