I want to disappear from it all. I've actually contemplated suicide a few times. I'm not happy with the way I look, I have serious health issues, I'm not happy with where I am in life, I'm not happy with the fact that my father lives about 12 homes down from me and I'm more comfortable talking to a stranger than him. I want time to freeze so I can get my life in order, but it never does. Time just keeps going and my life continues to spiral out of control and I have no one to help me.