Jayman

Super Moderator

In case you haven't read Episode 10........
http://wrestlingclique.com/general-d...sode-10-a.html (The Clique is RAW...Episode 10)

*The tv set switches from re-runs of “I Dream of Jeannie” to the next LIVE edition of the Clique Wrestling Federation’s premier show….RAW IMPACT! We are coming to you live this week at INVESCO Field from Denver, Coloroado, home of the NFL Broncos. The first quick clip shown from last week shows Simon and Mr. Cool in the ring, staring eye-to-eye with one another. Simon turns away, and leaves the ring. Another clip shows Gigglypuff slapping Jackie Pies before Zar comes to her aid backstage. Suntan Superman and Felix are screaming at eachother down the hallway, and another clip shows Inogenius, Crocker, and Slimdust getting their arms raised victoriously in the “Tag Team Singles” Competition. Suntan Superman is shown last, taking a brutal looking Pedigree from Mikk. But it’s Mikk that succumbs in the end, after a devastating Dominator from the “Angry Samoan”. The clips end and we are now shown live footage of a group of individuals backstage. We see Rambo, Necro, Slimdust, Zar333, )85(, and CM Drunk backstage, each with a drink in their hand.

Necro: Alright. This is a beer drinking competition. The first to completely drink all the beer in their glass will be declared the winner. Rambo, anything to add before we start?
Rambo: asdiacn 9dsf8jda sd0fs7.
Necro: Thanks. )85(, are you of age to drink beer legally in the States?
)85(: Heh…um. If I make you some graphics, can I skip answering that question?
Necro: We all know you’ll never get around to doing that. Get out of here. Slimdust, what drink are you holding?
Slimdust: It’s a cosmopolitan. It’s flavored cherry, and it has a cute little yellow straw coming up from it…and look at this glass it comes in, so damn cute, and….
Necro: Get the hell out of here. CM Drunk, get up!!!

*CM Drunk is passed out in the corner, and his glass of beer is sitting in front of him in his lap. Necro grabs it before it spills and just sets it on the table with the rest of the glasses. Rambo turns his attention to Zar333, who is looking out the doorway.

Zar: Hey, there goes Jackie Pies! Sweet, I’m gonna get me some.

*Zar333 sets down his glass and heads out of the locker room, leaving only the African Hooligans themselves alone with 5 beers. Rambo and Necro look around, seeing if anyone else will join them. Shrugging, they smile.

Rambo: I guess there’s only one thing left to do….
Necro: Cheers, my good man.

*Necro picks up two glasses of beer, while Rambo somehow manages to hold 3 glasses in his hands. They clink glasses and begin chugging the beers.

*The RAW IMPACT! Intro begins, with hard rock music, past CWF clips rushing by, and numerous amounts of pink pyro going off. Apparently Slimdust had a word with the lead pyro-technician. We cut to the arena, and the camera slides around the corner of the ring and onto the commentators table. Only King Jayman is sitting at the table, and the other seat next to him, usually reserved for Tyler Durden, is empty.

Jayman: Well, we have been looking all over for Tyler this past week, but nobody has been able to find him around here. So, it looks like I will be calling the action here alone today. Unless Erin, Jackie Pies, Gigglypuff, or Emma would like to join me. I’ll sit and wait patiently……….aw crap, I have to do the typical “promoting” thing usually reserved for TD. Okay…(in his best TD voice) Tonight bah gawd, we have more of our “Tag Team Singles” competition going on. Remember, the team that has the best showing will move to Cliquemania to battle for the Tag straps against I-squared: Inogenius and Invictus. Simon will defend his title in the main event against Half-Boy. And Joe Cool will pick a partner to tag with him against the team of Blade and Giganto, the CWO’s two cronies.

*The “Bad Boys” theme song starts and out comes Necro. He looks a little inebriated, but nothing out of the usual. He’s flipping through some porn on his way down and hands some off to a young, horny teenager. He gives Necro a thumbs up and our hero steps into the ring. “Anarchy in the UK” is up next and one half of the team, Phantom, steps out from behind the curtain to boos. This is probably because he is waving a Welsh flag. He doesn’t mind, though, and proceeds to grab an American flag someone is waving in the front row and wipe it on his bottom. More boos are generated. He steps in the ring and heads for Necro. Nec is taken down and Phantom lays into him with stiff shots. Nec rolls him off and proceeds with some footstomps, which get the crowd going. Necro bounces off the ropes and hits a splash, but covers for only a 2. Phantom is up and hits a German suplex on Necro, and follows it up with an Asai moonsault from the top rope. The crowd is speechless, but boo him as he goes for the pin. Only a 2-count. Out of anger, Phantom grabs hold of Necro’s arm and puts on his finishing hold, the “Welsh Wrist Lock”. Necro cries out in pain, and crawls slowly towards the ropes. He’s going to tap..no! He grabs the ropes, and after 4 seconds, the hold is released by the referee kicking Phantom’s arm. Phantom is pissed, and is yelling at the referee, but Necro takes advantage. He spins Phantom around and kicks him in the gut, then sets him up for his finishing maneuver, the high-impact piledriver he calls the “Keg Stand”. Phantom’s skull crushes against the mat, and he’s out for the 3-count. “Bad Boys” plays again as the crowd goes wild. Necro heads over to the announce table and does a shot of whiskey with Jayman before heading to the back.

Jayman: And Phantom has come up short here in the challenge, but Necro with a good showing here tonight. Man, this straight-laced talk is getting annoying. Who wants to join me under the announce table here in Denver to become an official member of the “Mile-High-Club”?

*A promo comes on your screen now. It shows war, tanks, heavy artillery, and soliders running through the desert. A narrated southern voice says the following, "Are you sick and tired of the war? Need a new alternative to how this country, nay the world, should be run? Are you voting for Ron Paul this November for President of the United States? If you answered yes to all of these, then you are one smart indivdual. There are many evils in this world, and none bigger than the Clique Wrestling Federation. As the resident southerner and hillbilly of the CWF, Dakstang is the man you need to vote for." An image of Dak is shown on the screen, with the American flag waving proudly behind him. The narrator's voice continues. "If you join Dakstang's legion of fans, you could possibly enjoy the many perks that go along with being a cabinet member in Dakland. No more will you have to listen to King Jayman talk on commentary. We will boot him out of the commentator's desk. No more will you have to go along with the horrible rule of Commissioner Felix. Here at Dakland, your every wish will be granted. Join us, won't you? Vote DAKLAND for your next home...sweet home. This message paid by the Campaign of Dakstang."

*We go backstage where CM Drunk and Emma are talking. Drunk has a sad look on his face, but Emma has her arm around him, consoling him. She may also be grabbing his ass, we can’t tell.

CM Drunk: Emma, this is ridiculous. I’m trying to be the good partner and last week, I set up Half-Boy with the opportunity of a lifetime. Tonight, he goes one-on-one with Simon as part of the “Tag Team Singles” challenge. And if that’s not enough, if he wins the match, he goes on to be World Champion and face Mr. Cool at Cliquemania!
Emma: And trust me love, that is an opportunity Matt is thankful for. All he’s been talking about this past week was winning the Title and moving onto new things.
CM Drunk: New things? Like what?
Emma: Haven’t the slightest. But he’s thankful, and he signed you up for a match in return!
CM Drunk: Yeah, I know, against Suntan Superman. Have you seen that guy? He’s 6’ something and massive! The guy hasn’t been happy since the first week we’ve started. He comes back and completely destroys everyone in his path, and now next in line is…..me! What was Half-Boy trying to prove putting me in a match against SS?
Half-Boy: A case of tough love, kid.

*Half-Boy has come into the locker room by now and chimes in. Emma quickly releases her arm from around CM’s shoulder and heads over to her fiancée. The two look down at a solemn CM Drunk, who is sitting on the bench with his head down.

Half-Boy: Now if you’ll excuse us kid, the future World Champion needs some time alone to “train” with his manager. Besides, you better get moving. Your match….is next.

*”Banner of Freedom” plays and out comes the Angry Samoan himself, Suntan Superman. The crowd is booing the loudest it has all night thus far, and SS just smiles at them. He doesn’t mind that the crowd isn’t behind him, it fuels him to inflict even more pain. “Margaritaville” by Jimmy Buffet plays next and CM Drunk makes his way down the ramp…slowly. He has his eyes locked on the Samoan in the ring, and has a terrified look on his face. CM hesitates before stepping through the ropes, and once he gets into the ring, SS charges at him, landing a running shoulderblock. CM hits the ground hard and rolls around in pain. SS picks him up and executes a powerslam, but throws CM out of the ring and onto the mat below. The referee begins counting out CM while the crowd boos. He gets to 8 before SS slides out and rolls Drunk back in. Not satisfied with a count-out victory, SS picks up Drunk and hits a devastating brainbuster. SS covers him for 1….2…..SS gets up. Still not satisfied, Suntan pulls Drunk up by the hair and gets him in a gutwrench. He flips him over his shoulder and quickly drops him back down on his stomach, executing the deadly Dominator finisher. SS covers for three.

Jayman: A pretty decisive win for Suntan Superman here tonight, and CM Drunk didn’t get a lick of offense in. Maybe if he “trained” more here at the Clique, he’d have a better showing. Uh oh, Suntan Superman has a microphone, this can’t be good.

Suntan Superman: Chalk up yet another win for me!! Another week goes by, and another easy victory for me. But for some reason, I’m not in the World Championship match. Fine, I got cheated out of winning the Clique Rumble, but that doesn’t mean there can’t be a last minute addition to the World Title match. Look at me, I DOMINATE this federation! I am issuing an open challenge for Cliquemania for anyone who is stupid enough to face the Biggest, Baddest, and Best son-of-a-bitch the CWF has to offer.

*He slams the microphone down with authority and heads out of the ring, leaving the backstage crew to scrape CM Drunk off the mat. Just when the boos have died down, “I Am, I Am” starts playing and the boos resume when God (not the supreme being) emerges from behind the curtain. He heads down the ring with a little pep in his step, and slides in the ring and picks up the microphone SS slammed down. The “Master-Debator” dusts it off and shakes his head at the microphone.

God: How dare some people. This microphone is a great communication tool, and is the device that summons my beautiful, loving voice to all my hundreds of thousands of fans, some of them right here in Denver, Coloardo (boos). Oh whatever, the Bronco’s are crap, and so is your sport of American football. Anyway, let’s get back to business. Since you Americans have such a short term memory, let me refresh your memories and show you what happened last week.

*The screen starts the feed with God double clotheslining Lady Hotrod and Jackie Pies, sending them to the ground. The crowd is booing this “refresher course”, but we next see Emma on the receiving end of the TNA (Throw ‘N Away), God’s finisher. Then, we are subjected to watching God spank the asses of Lady HotRod and Jackie Pies. We also see it again, first in slow-motion, and again with the camera zoomed on the ladies asses in mid-spank. We cut back to see God on his back rolling in the ring, laughing very hard. Suddenly, just before the feed shows Jackie Pies getting some revenge with a low-blow, the screen goes black. God gets on his feet and resumes his serious stature.

God: Sorry about that folks, right there is where the feed gets cut off and we lose the video. But nevertheless, I have shown you the most exciting parts. Now, I want to remind you all of my recent winning streak. Not only have I been unbeaten in over a month or two, but I have defeated every woman in every kind of match that this federation has thrown at me. And that includes a not a 2-1, but a THREE on one handicap match. There is not a single woman in this federation that coul…..

*All of a sudden, “Champagne Supernova” fills the airwaves, and the crowd is woken up and get immediately on their feet. Erin steps out in a cute black top and blue jeans to the crowd’s approval. She ignores the crowd though, and quickly walks towards the ring. Quickly, Erin slides under the bottom rope and walks like a woman on a mission towards God, who drops his microphone out of fear. He begins backing up, keeping his frightened eyes on Erin. “The Heroine of the CWF” continues her bee-line towards God, and backs him into a corner with a pissed-off look on her face. God looks around, hoping to get some assistance, but sees nobody will help him, and slithers out of the ring. God hightails it up the ramp, taking time to look back over his shoulder every few minutes.

Jay: And without speaking a word, Erin has said a ton to God!! The Master-Debator was speechless for a change, and chose to duck out of there. One thing’s for sure, he’s surely pissed off Erin, not to mention the entire women’s division in the CWF. I’m told we’re ready for our next matchup, which will pit Joe Cool and a partner of his choice against 2/3 of the Clique World Order.

*We cut backstage once more, where Mr. Cool is talking to someone off-camera. Cool has his wrestling gear on, and is ready for a fight. We cannot see who he’s talking to, but Cool looks happy as he has a small grin on his face.

Mr. Cool: When Felix told me last week I needed to find a partner to face Blade and Giganto, I knew you would be my first choice. You’ve had a ton of history with this group of guys, so you were the obvious pick to tag with me. I just want to let you know that whatever happens out there, I’ve got your back. I’m sure you’ll have mine as well. Our match is next, so let’s get out there.

*The CWO Theme starts up next, and down walks Giganto and Blade…Nice Guy Eddie, Blitzkrieg…whatever the hell he’s calling himself today. In between them is Gigglypuff, who has a shit-eating grin on her face and is getting them pumped up by screaming at them and telling them to WIN! The three walk up the stairs into the ring and await their opponents. “Heartache Tonight” plays and Mr. Joe Cool himself emerges to the most cheers of the night. He stands atop the entrance ramp and throws up his arms to receive louder cheers than before. Joe heads down to the ring and stops just before he gets in, and looks at the entrance ramp to await his tag partner. After a few moments, nothing happens and the crowd dies down. But once it’s completely silent, the speakers break the silence when “North Country Boy” starts up. The crowd goes wild as Mikk comes out to tag with Joe Cool. He looks at the three in the ring and starts jumping up and down, screaming at them from 40 feet away (about 12m for those outside the US). Blitzkrieg and Gigglypuff are shown shaking their head in an upset manner.

Jay: Mikk has got to be loving this! This is his first chance in the same ring with Blitz since Survivor Monks!! Now that he defeated Giggly at the Rumble, Mikk may do what he pleases to Blitz without fear of losing his contract. While Mikk will get his one-on-one shot against Blitz in a few weeks at Cliquemania, this will be a good warmup for both men.

*Mikk is now in the ring with Joe, and they discuss strategy as the bell rings. Joe and Blitz start it off, and Joe gets Blitz over his head and lands a Fallaway slam. Blitz quickly gets up and charges at Joe, but Cool lands a flapjack next and Blitz rolls out of the ring. This break in the action angers the crowd, and they boo Blitz. Mikk yells at his nemesis from the apron, yelling at him to get back in. Eventually he does and knocks Joe down with a punch once on the apron. Blitz climbs to the top rope and hits a flying crossbody. He covers Cool, but only gets 2. Blitz tags in Giganto and he continues the punishment. But Cool eventually blocks a blow and lands a powerbomb, which awakens this crowd. Cool tags in Mikk and he runs in and picks up Joe’s pieces by quickly pinning Giganto. Only a 2-count and Giganto is up. Giganto manages to land a pump handle slam on Mikk, but doesn’t cover him. Instead, Giganto teases tagging in Blitz, and looks to the crowd for support. The crowd actually cheers, hoping to see a preview of Mikk/Blitz. Giganto waves the crowd off, as if to say “Yeah right” and continues by footstomping Mikk. The Mikkster grabs Giganto’s leg and twists it around, sending the big man to the floor. Mikk locks in an ankle lock, and Giganto is screaming! Blitz heads into the ring and charges at Mikk, and Mikk breaks the hold, waiting for his enemy. Blitz stops in mid-run and laughs, heading back to the apron. Mikk turns just in time to see that Giganto has gotten up, but not in time to dodge Giganto’s vicious lariat. Giganto follows it up with his finisher, the New York Knuckle Shuffle, which further keeps Mikk down. Giganto tags in Blitz, and Giggly’s lover simply puts one boot on Mikk’s chest, pinning him for the three. The crowd boos as Cool attends to Mikk and drags him outside and backstage. Meanwhile, Giganto, Giggly, and Blitz celebrate in the ring. But wait!!! Zar333 comes running down the ramp (to no entrance music) and jumps Giganto from behind. The crowd goes nuts as Zar gets a few quick shots on the face of Giganto, busting him open!!! Zar heads out of the ring before Blitz and Giggly can turn around to see what happened.

Jayman: And light a flash of lightning, Zar was in and out of that ring, doing the damage he must have wanted on Giganto. Surely, Zar must feel that he got some revenge from how rudely Giganto treated Jackie Pies last week in their pre-match interview. He has busted open the beautiful face of Tom Dogg, I’m sure we haven’t seen the last of this fierce rivalry.

*We go backstage where Suntan Superman is getting out of the shower. Luckily, he has a towel wrapped around him. He decides to just rip the shower curtain down, due to his hatred of them. Who needs fucking shower curtains anyway, right SS? Anyway, he heads to his locker and begins keying in the combination when he notices something on the bench nearby.

Suntan Superman: What….in..the…hell?

*SS looks down to see a picnic basket with some Pink peeps in it. SS looks quizzically at the small marshmallow filled bunnies and picks one up, examining it. He takes a bite out of the head of one Peep – they seem edible. He throws the bunny to the ground to notice a note written on pink paper. Suntan reads it aloud.

Suntan Superman: ?A happy late Easter to you, you big cuddly bear. I know you don’t have a match for Cliquemania, and that makes me sad. I know you think you are the biggest and baddest man in this federation, and that’s fine with me. I agree. Luckily for you, “big” and “oh so bad” are just how I like them. See you next week, Sunny.”

*SS crumples the note in disgust and looks around the room, looking for a possible culprit of this prank. He throws the Easter basket, and delicious marshmallowey peeps, into the wall and heads down the hall, with only a towel on. He is livid, and is hitting the concrete wall as he bursts into Felix’s office. Felix is looking online at a fishing website when SS bursts in, and isn’t too happy.

SS: Who the hell wrote that note to me, Felix!! I know you were involved somehow!
Felix: What in the blue hell are you talking about, Suntan? This is the second week in a row you have come in here and disturbed me like this. I don’t care for your attitude at all, and if these outbursts continue, you will be suspended WITHOUT PAY. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?
SS: I’m not afraid of you….
Felix: Yeah, I know. You’re not afraid of anyone. Which is why you issued the open challenge earlier tonight. I’m fine with it. I’m not fine with you whining about the fact that you aren’t in the World Title Match at Cliquemania. You knew going into the Rumble that only the winner of it would go on to face the champion. That was your opportunity, and you didn’t capitalize on it.

*SS slams his fist into Felix’s desk, making the Commissioner jump a little. Felix huffs deeply, and stands up to stand eye to eye with the large, Angry Samoan. After taking a deep breath, Felix calms down and speaks his next words slowly and softly.

Felix: Look, I know you are upset you won’t be getting a chance at the World Title. But there’s another title you could have a chance for. I am creating a secondary title that will be won by someone at Cliquemania. It’s not the World Title, but holding this new title would mark you in a pretty good place in this federation, and you could someday soon fight for the World Championship. This new title will be called the…..”Not World Title”, or just plain the NW Title. Once all the matches for Cliquemania have been announced, I will randomly choose one match on the card to have the added stipulation of awarding the winner the NW Title. If I were you, I would find an opponent for Cliquemania very quickly, as you only have one more show left before the Pay-Per-View. Do you have an opponent yet?

*Suntan Superman looks away from the Commissioner, and into his hand, where the crumpled note is still being held. He unwraps it and re-reads the words again to himself, knowing this is the key to having a shot at the NW Title.

*Back at ringside

Jayman: And what a blockbuster announcement by Commisssioner Felix just now!!! A second singles title will be awarded at the pay-per-view in only 2 weeks! And the best part is, anyone can be chosen. It could be awarded to Dakstang, Zar, God, Mikk, Crocker, yankeesman77, Blitz, Giganto, Half-Boy, Suntan Superman, Erin, or whoever else will be on the card. Anyway..our main event is up next. Wouldn’t you know it, Half-Boy gets his shot at World gold tonight when he goes one-on-one against Simon.

*Backstage once more, Half-Boy is on his way out to the ring but is stopped by Joe Cool, who is still sweating from his match earlier. Joe gives HB a slap on the back.

Joe: I just want to let you know Matt….if you end up beating Simon tonight and taking his title, it will be an honor to fight you at Cliquemania as well. Although I’ll get to miss out on beating the living crap out of Simon at the biggest PPV of the year, the ultimate goal for me is the World Title. Good luck, man.
Half-Boy: Thanks Joe.

*”The Thong Song” by Sisquo starts up and Half-Boy emerges from backstage, with Emma hanging onto his arm. She is smiling brightly, knowing this is a huge opportunity for her fiancée. Half-Boy heads to the ring looking all business, and opens the top and middle rope to allow his valet in. The crowd cheers for the hot couple from England, and they wave to their fans. The CWO theme starts up next, and Simon walks out alone, with title around his shoulder, to massive boos. He has his head down, and after his pyro goes off, Simon raises his head and confidently looks up and walks to the ring. The World Champ steps into the ring and slowly removes his robe and belt before handing them slowly to the ref, who holds it up signifying the title is on the line. Emma gets out of the ring and this match is underway. Simon gets an early lead with a few hammerlocks and then an overhead suplex. Half-Boy gets up just in time to be met with a headbutt from the champ, and HB goes down once again. Simon goes for the quick and easy pin, but Matt is up quickly. Simon and HB are up, but HB hits a quick spinebuster on the champ, and runs against the ropes before landing a scissors kick to Simon. HB’s next hit is blocked and Simon hits a Side effect out of desperation. He leans against the corner and climbs it, but HB lunges at the ropes and Simon crashes to the outside. The crowd is on their feet now as the champ looks to be at a disadvantage. HB slides out of the ring and pulls Simon up by the hair. Matt didn’t see the Champ pick up his World Title belt from near the bellkeeper, and Simon hits a blantant belt shot to the skull of Half-Boy. HB falls backwards like a limp noodle and crashes against the concrete floor below as the bell is rung, ending the match. Referees hold Simon back from HB before he can continue more punishment. The winner is announced as Half-Boy, by disqualification.

Jayman: What a load of crap! The match ended in a DQ, and no titles can change hands by that stipulation. Even though Half-Boy won the match, he won’t win the title. What a sneaky way out by Simon, and the crowd doesn’t like this outcome, as you can hear by their boos.

*Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man” cuts Jayman off and Felix is now at the top of the ramp with a microphone in hand. Simon stops from his beatdown on HB and pays attention to his boss, who quickly quiets the crowd down.

Felix: You truly are a little worm, Simon. I came out here to give you a one-week notice. In one week, both yourself and Mr. Cool will face off in “Pick Your Poison” matches. For those that don’t know, Joe Cool will choose the opponent to face you next week Simon. And in return, Simon will choose the opponent for Mr. Cool. Next week is the last stop before we head to Cliquemania, and we have a ton of business to take care of between now and then. So you had better be ready next week “champ”, because I doubt if Joe Cool is going to pick an easy partner for you.

*The crowd cheers at the thought of Joe picking the opponent for Simon, and Jayman wishes us a goodnight as the feed goes off the air, with the last shot of Simon looking pissed off at our Commissioner. Join us next time as we bring more RAW IMPACT! to you.