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LAW Downward Spiral

The Introduction

Frankie stands up to open the show, but to the surprise of nobody, he’s cut off… this time by Mitch Paradise.

Paradise: “Siddown, Frankie, right now, or I’ll bust your head down so hard it’ll come out the other side of your neck!”

Frankie thinks for a moment, then leaves the ring… and rolls under it.

Paradise: “I came into the company for one reason – to find my paradise. I came here because of the Lost Boyz. Azrael and Gabriel… they assured me I could find paradise with their help. They lied to me! Just like everyone else who’s always lied to me! People might have noticed that I have a little problem with my anger – well, is it any wonder I’m pissed off? All I’m looking for is peace. All I’m looking for is my paradise. And I’ll find it, sooner or later – even if I have to beat the living hell out of everyone in the company to do it!”

Paradise storms off with a scowl on his face. A good couple of minutes after he’s left, The Flying Armadillo rolls out from under the ring. Finding no opponents, he simply waits for one to enter…

Overall: 54%
Mitch Paradise gained overness from this segment.

The Flying Armadillo vs Kamikaze Kid

Kamikaze reluctantly makes his way out to the ring, shying away in fear every time the fans stick their hands out to greet him. The Flying Armadillo greets him in his own way, with a flying plancha out to the floor, cape streaming out behind him. Kamikaze sucks it up long enough to prove he’s a better flyer than the Armadillo, hitting a series of increasingly ludicrous twisting dives and presses. He’s stopped dead in his tracks when the Flying Armadillo poses and shouts “Armadillo – AWAY!” at him, though. Frankie… uh, I mean, “Not Frankie” clubs down on Kamikaze. He hits a double foot stomp from the top rope, then follows up with the Armadillonator to win it.

O: 59% (44, 74)

Huff N Puff vs Alexis Machine and The Law

Tobin and Drake cheapshot Machine to start the match off, and work him over while the ref escorts The Law back to his corner. They go through the standard tag formula, with Tobin and Drake beating down Machine in their corner. Machine makes a few vain efforts to make a comeback, but Huff N Puff continue to dominate, abiet in their own rather out of it way. They finally set up for a Spike Piledriver – and Machine backdrops out of it, throwing Tobin into Drake! He hits the Lexis-Plex on Tobin! He tags The Law in! The Law takes down both heels, as Machine slowly recovers, and the faces take control. Danny Drake concentrates long enough to dropkick Machine off the apron – and as he turns around, Law blasts Drake with the Long Arm of the Law!

Law goes for Tobin, pulling him in off the apron – and a gorgeous woman struts her way down the aisle! The crowd gets into it, hooting and hollering as Law looks on, his eyes, widening, as she hops up on the apron, smiles at him, and suggestively strokes a finger down her leg. Law suddenly realises what’s happening, but a second too late – Tobin blindsides him, and he and Drake hit the Spike Piledriver to win the match.

O: 63% (53, 73)
XTC debuted her new gimmick (Seductress), it got a positive response.

And the lady is...

The woman bats her eyes at the crowd, and rather suggestively licks her lips and curls her tongue towards the mic.

Woman: “I am exactly what I appear to be – my name is XTC. Ecstasy – do you know what that means?”

Tobin and Drake snigger in the background and make drugged out faces.

XTC: “Not THAT ecstasy, you idiots – XTC. It is pure bliss. Rapture. Enjoyment beyond your wildest dreams – that’s exactly what I am. Most of you here can only DREAM of being in XTC. I’m sure what you want to know now is: why am I with Danny Drake and Mike Tobin? These two worthless stoners? Let me tell you why – they are easily manipulated, easily controlled – and like so many other man, they will do ANYTHING I desire. Now, I assume-”

Tobin: “Dude! She said ass!”

Drake: “DUDE!”

Tobin: “DUDE!”

They vainly attempt to high-five each other, until XTC glares at them. They instantly fall in line behind her and follow her backstage.

O: 62%
XTC gained overness from this segment. Danny Drake gained overness from this segment. Mike Tobin gained overness from this segment.

Ryan Wing and Vito Thomaselli vs Doug Delicious and Lord Jeremiah V

Wing starts off with Double D, as they trade some decent mat wrestling and counter holds. It doesn’t last long, though – as Wing backs near his corner, Vito tags himself in and fires up with a series of nice uppercuts on Double D. Delicious bails to his corner, tagging in Jeremiah – who walks straight into a series of circling jabs from Vito! Wing tags himself back in to fight Jeremiah, and the two take it to the sky in a high-flying match. Wing looks to be getting the better of Jeremiah, but Vito gets sick of waiting on the apron. He tries to come in, accidentally distracting the ref – and Delicious rolls in with the Royal Scepter, whacking Ryan Wing in the back with it!

The heels take over, with Double D grounding Wing in the corner. They go through all the tricks, with Delicious sticking his chin out at Vito and taunting him, while Jeremiah chokes down Wing in the corner as the ref holds back Vito. Jeremiah continues to work over Wing – but as he goes for a clothesline, Wing grabs his arm, spins him, and hits a Flatliner! Wing tags in Vito! Vito cleans house, laying into Delicious in the corner with a series of lightning quick rights and lefts. Jeremiah tries to pull him off, but gets laid out with a Super Kick! Vito continues to lay in the fists to Double D, who whimpers and tries to cover his face as the ref unsuccessfully attempts to pull Vito off. Wing hits the Northern Lights Suplex on Jeremiah! The ref is still in the corner with Vito, so no count is made. Wing breaks the bridge to get the ref’s attention. As he does so, Delicious hurls Vito out to the floor – and Wing turns around, right into a Royal Guillotine from Jeremiah! Jeremiah picks Wing up and feeds him to Double D, who nails him with a Double Arm DDT for the 1,2,3.

Jeremiah and Delicious, the successful team, leave all smiles, while Vito and Wing glare at each other.

O: 64% (54, 75)
Vito Thomaselli gained overness from this feud ending. Ryan Wing gained overness from this feud ending. Doug Delicious gained overness from this feud ending. Lord Jeremiah V gained overness from this feud ending.

Kurt Stryker vs Tommy Suede

Stryker pumps up in the ring, looking good and ready, as Suede stalls for time. He climbs up onto the apron, but backs down again as Stryker approaches. Suede won’t enter the ring, demanding the ref hold Stryker back first. After about three lots of this, the crowd gets seriously on Suede’s back. Stryker holds his arms up and backs well off, as Suede climbs on the apron and stalls some more – and Stryker spits the Fireball at him!

The edge of it catches Suede, sending him sailing off the apron to the floor! Stryker follows him out, hitting an elbow drop off the apron. Suede tries to get the hell out of dodge, running away from Stryker – who simply follows him and continues to beat him into the crowd! They brawl all the way around the crowd, then backstage out of view. The ref, with no idea what the hell’s happening, throws the match out on a Double Count Out as the crowd booes the cheap finish.

O: 68% (58, 79)

Big Time Barry Hammond vs ‘Smoothsteps’ Shawn Wright, No1 Contenders Match

By the power of the altogether fictional LAW Board of Directors, the winner of this gets a title shot next month. Both men strut their stuff for the crowd with a brief pre-match dance off. Wright actually has the moves, and gets a big pop, while Hammond gets a suitable reward of booes for his hideous efforts to bust a move. He invites Wright to strut his stuff one more time, then takes the chance to attack him from behind.

Hammond controls the match for a while, using such deadly big man offence as the chokehold and the chinlock. He out-powers Wright, hurling him into the corner and crushing him with an avalanche, then press slamming him high into the air. Wright fights back, ducking a clothesline and hitting a 619 style kick off the ropes into Hammond’s gut. Now that’s a big target. Hammond goes for a running powerslam, as Wright slides down his back and sends him into the turnbuckle. He hits a bulldog from behind – then the Moonwalk Moonsault! 1,2, No!

Big Time shoves Wright back into the corner, and CRUSHES him with a running splash. He hits two more, then hauls the limp Shawn Wright out, hitting him with a powerslam, then splashes him again as Wright lies on the mat. Hammond foolishly takes the opportunity to bust a move, wasting absurd amounts of time as the fans boo. He picks Wright up again – and Wright kicks him in the gut and drops him with the Last Dance! 1,2,3! Wright moonwalks his way back up the aisle to the delight of the fans.

O: 62% (52, 73)

Mike Legion makes his entrance, mic in hand

Legion: “It’s time, it’s time… not only is it time to get psycho, it’s time for a new champion! Jaxx, you’ve never had a challenger like me. I’m unpredictable. I’m uncontrollable. And I’ll do whatever it takes to get that belt off you – legal or not. I’m not a man that’s hampered by the rules, Jaxx. Not the rules of the ring, not even the rules of society. I don’t care if I have to turn you into a battered pulp to take that title… in fact, I’d prefer it that way.

No doubt you’re a worthy champion. You’re good, Jaxx. A better wrestler than me? Probably. But that doesn’t matter a damn to me. You could probably beat me in a straight up technical match, but that’s not the way I fight. I’ll give my blood, sweat, and tears for that title – because like they say – if you’re not bleeding, you’re not trying!”

O: 68%
Psycho Mike Legion gained overness from this segment.

‘Psycho’ Mike Legion vs Garrett Jaxx ©, LAW World Title

Legion BLITZES Jaxx to open the match, literally beating him from one side of the ring to the other. Legion stays on offence, smacking Jaxx around the ring with huge haymakers. Jaxx rolls out to the floor for a breather, but Legion isn’t dissuaded – he simply follows Jaxx outside and starts smacking Jaxx’s head into the ring apron! The ref vainly attempts to regain control, as Legion occasionally rolls in to prevent a count-out. Legion whips Jaxx towards the steps – and Jaxx reverses, sending Legion head-first into the steel!

Jaxx takes over on Legion, mashing his head into the ringpost. He rolls back in to break the count, but rolls right back out again and drives Legion head first into the post again. Jaxx rolls Legion back into the ring, as Legion begin to bleed from the forehead. Jaxx tries a few pin attempts, but Legion easily escapes. Jaxx tries for a submission, putting on a Sharpshooter, as Legion just JUICES, spraying blood out all over the mat as he attempts to avoid submitting. Legion crawls to the ropes – and crawls his way up them, breaking the hold! Legion grabs Jaxx and hooks his arms – and hits a series of Al Snow-esqe underhook headbutts, leaving both men with Legion’s blood across their faces!

Jaxx continues to try and work over the leg, but Legion fights on through it, grabbing Jaxx by the hand and biting his fingers! Jaxx pulls the ref into the corner to complain about the illegal biting – and Legion charges in with a clothesline, hitting the ref in the back of the head and slamming him into Jaxx! Everyone but Legion goes down, as he grins like a maniac, rolls outside, and grabs a chair to a nice pop from the crowd. Legion bodyslams Jaxx in the middle of the ring, then places the chair over Jaxx’s chest. Legion runs a finger across his throat, calling for the end, then heads up to the top rope. He waits for the crowd noise to rise – then flies, with a Flying Headbutt onto the chair!

A wild eyed Legion rises, now bleeding again from the reopened cut. He shakes the ref awake, then rolls onto the cover. The ref counts slowly… 1,2, and Jaxx kicks out! Jaxx staggers up, and dropkicks Legion. Legion, still heavily bleeding, pulls himself up as Jaxx charges – right into a Legion Spike! Both men go down! The ref starts a ten count. Legion rises first, as Jaxx pulls himself up in the corner. Legion grabs the chair and raises to swing – and the ref grabs it off him! The ref threatens Legion with a DQ, then turns to through the chair out of the ring – and behind his back, Jaxx drops down and hits a low-blow on Legion! Legion bends over in pain – and Jaxx hits him with a Death Valley Driver, into the cover, 1,2,3!

Jaxx retreats, holding his World Title high in victory. Legion, his face a crimson mask, pulls himself up – and hits the Psycho Driver on the referee! He grins maniacally at the fans as the show draws to a close.

O: 69% (54, 84)
The LAW World title has gained in image.

Overall Show: 64%
Match of the Night: Jaxx vs Legion
Worst Match of the Night: The Flying Armadillo vs Kamikaze Kid

Enhancer's Current Status:

ALPHA 0.01 finished