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LAW: Glory Days I

Welcome to LAW’s one year anniversary show, and what I hope may eventually become ‘our Wrestlemania’.

The Introduction

Frankie stands up to start the show, but gets cut off as Tommy Suede enters. He dismisses Frankie with a wave of his hand and turns his back on him. Frankie raises a fist, looking to hit Suede, but leaves… rolling under the ring.

Suede: “Yes, yes. Buzz off, Frankie – nobody wants to listen to you when they can listen to me instead. After all, I am what most of you people can only dream of being. I have a level of education most of you couldn’t possibly understand! Not that that in itself would be difficult… I’m guessing several people here have yet to master the complexities of their ABCs. But my gifts aren’t just my brains – I also got this body! Just look at me – I’m handsome, educated, and incredibly talented-”

Suede stops as the crowd cuts off his self-indulgent tripe with an “Asshole” chant.

Suede: “You people want to call me an asshole? Don’t hate me – It’s not MY fault I got all the opportunities you didn’t. Blame your parents for that – after all, Cousin Mom marrying Cousin Dad was bound to produce lousy children. But I am offering you people an opportunity! You can live vicariously through me! I have all the talent, all the skill, to make it to the top. You can dream of one day becoming just like me! Not that that’s possible, of course – many of you appear to be at the shallow end of the gene pool. Furthermore, I need to mention that-”

Suede stops himself as he sees the Flying Armadillo rolling out from under the ring, and into it, ready for a fight.

O: 60%

Tommy Suede vs The Flying Armadillo

Suede immediately out-wrestles the Armadillo, using his superior training and technique to wear down the guy that definitely isn’t Frankie, no sir. Suede beats the Armadillo down some more, then takes a little time out to respond with gestures to the “asshole” chants going up from the fans. Armadillo hits a vertical suplex on Suede, then a double foot stomp off the top rope! He takes his eye off Suede for a second, yelling “Armadillo – AWAY!” to his fans, who respond with calls of “We Want Frankie!” Suede regains control over the Armadillo, totally shutting him down. Suede goes up top, and takes time to contemptuously look down at the crowd. He flies off with the Phoenix Splash – and the Flying Armadillo rolls out of the way, pulls Suede up, and hits the Armadillonator for the upset win!

A furious Suede chases the Flying Armadillo under the ring after the match, but loses him under there somewhere. Frankie returns to the announce table, as Suede gives up and goes backstage.

O: 64% (55, 74)

Huff N Puff vs Alexis Machine and The Law

Drake and Tobin stumble out, tripping (both literally and figuratively) down the aisle. They try several times to high-five each other, missing completely. Machine throws Tobin into the ring and drops him with a T-Bone Suplex. As Frankie puts it on commentary, Tobin’s eyes are already glazed over, but it’s probably not from the suplex. The Law tags in to take over, but Drake actually concentrates long enough to hit a cheapshot from behind, and Huff N Puff take over. They double-team on the Law for a while, hitting a unique tandem flying splash, where they both stand on the top rope and sway like they’re going to fall off for a while.

Not being a patient man, Machine doesn’t wait for the tag, entering the ring on his own and cleaning house. He applies the Breakdown to Drake, who taps out, but it doesn’t count since Machine isn’t legal. The ref continues to argue with Machine, forcing him back towards the apron with the threat of a DQ. Behind the ref’s back, Tobin illegally enters and cheapshots the Law! Tobin and Drake hit a double team Spike Piledriver on the Law. Drake covers, as Tobin keeps Machine out, and gets the 3.

O: 59% (44, 75)

Kamikaze Kid vs Mitch Paradise vs Smoothsteps Shawn Wright

It’s Triple Threat time, as Wright hands his sunglasses off to a female fan before taking the fight to Paradise in the ring. Kamikaze stays on the outside, too scared to fight either man. Paradise drops Wright, then leaps outside with a plancha on Kamikaze! Paradise drags the protesting Kamikaze around the outside of the ring, banging his head into the ring steps a few times. Wright also goes aerial, with a somersault senton over the top, taking out both men! The ref vainly protests as Wright and Paradise fight on the outside, leaving Kamikaze to sneak into the safety of the ring. Kamikaze gets back into the fight, springing out over the top with a Shooting Star Plancha! Both Wright and Paradise move, and Kamikaze gets maimed into the mats. Wright knocks down Paradise, then throws Kamikaze back into the ring. He hits the Moonwalk Moonsault for two, as Paradise breaks it up. Paradise dropkicks Wright down in the corner, then hits the Trip To Paradise on Kamikaze for the uninterrupted 3.

O: 60% (44, 76)

Lord Jeremiah V vs Ryan Wing

The Canadian Sensation moves quickly into the match, hitting a volley of sharp offence on Jeremiah. Jeremiah begs off and hides behind the ref, citing his alleged diplomatic immunity. It doesn’t matter to Wing, who drags him out to the middle of the ring and starts up with a springboard moonsault off the second rope. He changes sides, bouncing off the other side of the ring with a springboard elbow drop. Wing goes to the well a third time, going for another moonsault, but Jeremiah moves. He goes up top and hits a moonsault of his own. He tries to whip Wing into the corner, but Wing reverses. He charges, but Jeremiah raises his boots into Wing’s face, knocking him down and pinning him! Jeremiah puts both feet on the ropes! 1,2, and the ref sees the feet and stops counting! Jeremiah protests to the ref, giving Wing a chance to make a comeback. Jeremiah rolls him up again, this time with an inside cradle, grabbing the tights. The ref doesn’t spot this one, and counts the 3.

O: 66% (54, 78)

Barry Hammond comes out to the ring, already armed with a mic

Hammond:
“Yo yo yo, dig diggity, dawg!
Legion, you be chopped, yo dig it, fly!
I mash you down like…uh… apple pie!
You think you hardcore, well I’m …um… hardcorer!
So time for a beating, yo, I’ll leave you as a …. Uh… snorer!
Coz you’ll be knocked out, geddit?
Word, life, dawg!”

O: 67%
Big Time Barry Hammond gained overness from this segment.

Big Time Barry Hammond vs ‘Psycho’ Mike Legion, Hardcore Match

After that atrociously bad rap effort (even by Big Time’s standards), Legion is all fired up, ripping into Hammond right off the bat. They brawl for a while, exchanging headbutts and fists, as the ref wisely stands back and just watches them go at it. The weapons come into play, as Hammond produces the cookie sheets of death. Legion pulls out a trash can lid, and they take turns clubbing each other with their implements. Legion goes slightly more hardcore, bring a chair into it. He never gets a shot at Hammond, though, as Big Time cuts him off with what everyone loves to see in a hardcore match – a chinlock. Legion grabs the chair and swings it backwards, hitting himself in the face and Hammond in the arm to break the hold. This… ‘interesting’ strategy gives Hammond the chance to wrap one of his chains around his fist. He (poorly) breakdances, as he waits on Legion to pull himself up. Legion does so, and Hammond swings – and Legion ducks it! Legion picks Hammond up, with a Legion Spike! The ring shakes as Hammond slams into it, and Legion rolls over on top – 1,2,3!

O: 55% (48, 63)

Vito Thomaselli vs Doug Delicious

Vito shows off his boxing background, shuffling around Delicious and jabbing out at him. Double D covers up his “beautiful” *cough* face as best he can, then grabs both of Vito’s arms and hits a double underhook suplex, in a nice spot. He grounds down Vito, making sure everyone gets a good look at his facials, as he mouths on about how delicious he is. Vito fires back up, throwing Delicious off, and goes for a Super Kick. Double D grabs the foot, spins him around, and hits the Double Arm DDT. Instead of covering, Delicious shows off his abs and dances around jabbing, mocking Vito. He puts Vito up top and calls for a top rope Double Arm DDT – and Vito uppercuts him in the face! Vito shoves him down to the mat, and follows up with the Air Italy to win it!

O: 60% (47, 73)

Garrett Jaxx © vs Kurt Stryker, First Blood Match, LAW World Title

Stryker proves his leg is healed up and ready to go, blasting into Jaxx with a trio of leg lariats. He continues to dominate Jaxx, who begs off, but comes back with a blatant low-blow. Jaxx dares the ref to do something about it, and he simply shrugs – First Blood, so pretty much anything goes. Jaxx works over Stryker, blatantly cheating – choking, gouging, and spitting at Stryker at every chance he gets. Jaxx is convinced he’s beaten Stryker down enough, and he drags him to the center of the ring. Jaxx poses on all four turnbuckles, then yells “Now it’s time to make him bleed!” He heads back over to Stryker, and leans over him – and Stryker spits a FIREBALL INTO JAXX’s FACE!

Jaxx stops, drops, and rolls, then collapses, arms over his face. Stryker picks up his limp body – and hits a German Suplex! And another! A second German Suplex! Stryker hoists Jaxx up, propping him in the corner, and just PUMMELS away at him for a good 3 or 4 minutes, trying to draw blood. He fails, and goes outside for a chair. Jaxx groggily staggers over to the ref for a reprieve – and hits a Death Valley Driver on the referee! The ref goes down, as Stryker rolls back in… and BAM! Chair shot, right to Jaxx’s head!

Jaxx goes down like falling lumber. Stryker draws a pop out of the crowd, then pulls Jaxx up by the head, revealing that Jaxx is bleeding from a cut in the forehead. Stryker pulls on the unconscious ref, who’s just deadweight, as Jaxx hauls himself back up. Stryker turns at just the wrong moment – and BAM! Chair shot to the head of Stryker! Stryker clearly ISN’T bleeding, but Jaxx still is. Jaxx steps over to the fallen ref – and pulls the ref’s shirt off! Jaxx ties the shirt around his head, covering up the cut. He mops the blood off his face, then picks Stryker up and hits a Death Valley Driver on him. Jaxx grabs the ringbell from the outside, and grinds away on Stryker’s face with the sharp edge of it.

The ref recovers, just as Stryker springs a leak and begins to bleed from the forehead. The ref sees it, and calls for the bell. It doesn’t ring, because Jaxx is still cutting Stryker’s forehead open with it, but the ref raises Jaxx’s arm in victory. He looks at the shirt on Jaxx’s head, then at his own bare chest questioningly, but Jaxx grabs his World Title and leaves, to the disgust of the crowd.

O: 68% (58, 79)
The LAW World title has gained in image.

Overall Show: 63%
Match of the Night: Jaxx vs Stryker
Worst Match of the Night: Barry Hammond vs Mike Legion

Enhancer's Current Status:

ALPHA 0.01 finished