QualitySoft

LAW: Midnight Wrestling

Backstage, Lord Jeremiah V is STILL whining

Jeremiah: “Young Mr Ryan Wing, I am most bitterly upset that I haven’t had a chance to right the injustice you purported against my royal self. It is a stain of my family’s long and illustrious history to lose to a mere peasant such as yourself – I demand a chance for revenge. By the royal traditions of Canoon, I call upon whatever meagre honour a lowly creature such as yourself possesses – meet me at Glory Days for a rematch!”

O: 63%
Lord Jeremiah V gained overness from this segment.

‘Smoothsteps’ Shawn Wright vs Mitch Paradise

Frankie once again proves to be a superb commentator, producing a few different synonyms to get Paradise over without using the word ‘angry’. The heated Paradise irately tears into Wright, who cools the pace down by dancing for the crowd a bit as he regains control. Paradise gets overly steamed and charges full speed into the corner, as Wright dodges. He hits a blockbuster, then the Moonwalk Moonsault, then waits on Paradise to get up before planting him with a Last Dance for the 3.

O: 59% (45, 73)

He'll-a mash your face!

In a pre-taped promo, Vito Thomaselli is in a gym, jabbing a boxing bag. He turns to the camera.

Vito: “Hey! Doug Delicious! You want to cross Vito Thomaselli? You think-a you just get in my business and get away with it? I’m-a not happy with you, and when I’m-a not happy, bad things happen. You want to fight, we’ll fight – one on one, my way, capice? We have a match at the big show, geddit? You think you such a pretty boy? You think your face deserves-a to be all over TV? We see how pretty you look when I punch-a your face in, yes?”

O: 60%
Vito Thomaselli gained overness from this segment.

Tommy Suede vs Ryan Wing

High-quality wrestling – I’m sure the Learning Channel will find something to have a fit about here. Suede gets the better of Wing and draws the crowd into it, taunting them. Not with nasty language, though – we can’t have any of that. Wing makes the classic babyface comeback, and calls for the Northern Lights Suplex. Lord Jeremiah V heads out to ringside, distracting Wing… just long enough for Suede to hit a piledriver. He comes off the top with a Phoenix Splash to win it.

O: 66% (53, 80)

The Hard Sell

Frankie takes a mic and rolls into the ring

Frankie: “Ladies and Gentlemen, fans of the Last Alliance of Wrestling! In just 4 days, we are proud to bring you Glory Days, a special live event! In two matches made this very night, Vito Thomaselli will take on Doug Delicious, and Ryan Wing will square off with Lord Jeremiah V! But that’s not all – ‘Psycho’ Mike Legion will be in action against Big Time Barry Hammond, and this time there’s no stopping them – a Hardcore, anything goes, no-rules matchup! And in the main event, Ladies and Gentlemen… Garrett Jaxx will defend his World Title against Kurt Stryker! A match of these high-stakes can only be settled one way – with blood! Garrett Jaxx vs Kurt Stryker in a First Blood match!

And I hear… not that I would know for sure, of course… but I hear that the Flying Armadillo will be in attendance as well! Ladies and Gentlemen, we hope to see you, live, at Glory Days!”

Thanks to the miracles of TV, all the necessary time, location, and price info scrolls across the bottom of the screen as Frankie talks. Everyone loves a hard sell. There is a actually a purpose to using our TV time to hype untelevised stuff – far more people show up to the live shows than watch us on TV. Still, Goldstien is going to have a FIT when he finds out we said “blood” on the air.

O: 71%
The Flying Armadillo gained overness from this segment.

Overall Show: 65%

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The next morning, I counted down the hours. 9.00, Goldstien arrives in his office. 9.05, he gets told about the previous night’s programming. 9.07, my phone rings. I grabbed it on the first go.

“Hello, Mr Goldstien.”

Goldstien: “Blood! Blood! You put blood matches on the Learning Channel? And… and hardcore matches? This is totally unacceptable!”

“Mr Goldstien, we didn’t put any of those matches on. We simply hyped them up, for our end of the month show… which has NOTHING to do with the Learning Channel at all. We’re simply-”

Goldstien: “That doesn’t matter at all! All you’ve done is put on risky productions since day one – well, no more, mister! And the highest rating you’ve drawn is nothing more than an 0.00! In one more show, your contract is up – and I just so god-darn-diddly-arn-mad I’m not going to renew it! Take your risky-bisky-ness elsewhere, mister!”

Goldstien hung up. Crap, there goes our TV deal. I didn’t need the NWA to put me out of business – I was headed that way quite nicely on my own.

Enhancer's Current Status:

ALPHA 0.01 finished