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LAW Live For Today

The Introduction

Frankie prepares to stand for the introduction. He sits several times, waiting for the Lost Boyz to interrupt, but finally decides to go for it. He enters the ring… then promptly leaves and hides under it as Big Time Barry Hammond makes his way to the ring.

Hammond:
“Yo, yo, yo, Big Time in da house!
I’m big and bad, and yo, you all know it,
Beat Legion’s ass down…uh…. took out all his wit!
Proved I’m the big fish in dis here little pond
Anyone say different, I’ll prove them… um… wronged!
Word, Life, Dawg!”

O: 67%
Big Time Barry Hammond gained overness from this segment.

The Flying Armadillo vs Kamikaze Kid

Kamikaze looks glad for a moment to have no threatening opponent in sight, but breaks down and tries to hide in the corner when The Flying Armadillo appears from under the ring. Like any heroic Armadillo would do (well… I assume. My experience with heroic Armadillos is limited), he hauls Kamikaze out of the corner and takes the beating to him. Somewhere in between running away and crying at the “Die, Kid, Die” chants going up, Kamikaze gains the advantage. He attempts to de-mask the Armadillo, drawing booes from the crowd. Franki… uh, The Armadillo quickly recovers himself, but Kamikaze takes the chance and knocks him down with a wheel kick from the second rope. He goes up top – and actually hits the 450 for the first time! 1,2,3! The Flying Armadillo gets up and extends a hand for a handshake, but Kamikaze runs off the second he sees the Armadillo move.

O: 57% (30, 75)
Kamikaze Kid debuted his new gimmick (Cowardly), it got a positive response.

Alexis Machine, The Law, and Psycho Mike Legion vs The Lost Souls (Azrael, Gabriel, Mitch Paradise)

The Law doesn’t get much reaction compared to his team mates, but the crowd seems to like his nightstick twirling. Machine starts out strong, dominating his smaller opponents, until Paradise blind tags his way in and cuts Machine off. The Lost Souls take down Alexis Machine, working him over in the corner. Machine fights back occasionally, trying to suplex his way out of trouble, but the 3 on 1 is too much. Legion finally gets sick of waiting for niceties like legal tags, and enters the ring and starts clubbing the Lost Boyz. Law notices the ref is out of position, and he sneaks in behind his back – and kneecaps Azrael with the nightstick! Azrael falls, then slowly pulls himself to one knee – and gets dropped with a Long Arm of the Law for the 3 count.

O: 54% (38, 70)
The Law debuted his new gimmick (Law Enforcer), it got a positive response.

Alongside Ryan Wing, Shawn Wright dances out to the ring.

OK, Wing just -walks- to the ring... but they both grab mics.

Wright: “Now I want to talk about the so-called ‘Smooth’ Tommy Suede. Suede, I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m betting it starts with picking a piece of crap like Garrett Jaxx for a buddy. Why do you hate me, Suede? Is it because I’m a better dancer? Because I’m better with the ladies? Because I’m smooth and I’ve got the moves, and you don’t? I guess all your wealth, all your opportunities, all your big talk doesn’t quite make up for your other… ‘shortcomings’… *Wright makes a ‘small’ gesture with his finger*… if you get what I’m saying.”

Wing: “And when Shawn here needed a partner, he knew who to call – the Canadian Sensation. I didn’t train my ass off to become a wrestler so I could put up with crap from some guy born with a silver spoon in his mouth – so if you want to get into my business, that’ just fine. I’m always happy to show how I earned my nickname – outwrestling cocky bastards like Suede and Jaxx.”

O: 67%
Smoothsteps Shawn Wright gained overness from this segment. Ryan Wing gained overness from this segment.

Garrett Jaxx and Tommy Suede vs ‘Smoothsteps’ Shawn Wright and Ryan Wing

A classic tag match, and probably LAW’s best match yet. Wright and Wing drop both their opponents with a pair of planchas before they even make it into the ring. Wright and Wing control early, as Wright rolls Suede in and caps him with a Moonwalk Moonsault, which Jaxx breaks up at 2. Jaxx drags down Wright by the leg as the heels work him over, but Wright eventually gets the hot tag off to Wing. The Canadian Sensation takes it to both heels with a springboard senton, then takes over on Jaxx. He sets him up and calls for the end, as Suede climbs the turnbuckles in the background. Wing hits the Northern Lights Suplex, into the bridge – 1,2, and Suede hits an elbow drop from the top rope onto Wing!

Ryan Wing bails out of the ring, clutching at his chest in pain, as Suede takes down Wright with a suplex. He dances over the top of Wright, drawing good heat from the crowd. The two heels double team Wright some more as the ref frantically tries to restore order. He eventually gets it, as Suede and Jaxx settle into LEGAL double teams, milking their 5 count for all it’s worth. They try for a double clothesline – and as they bounce off the ropes, Wing trips them both from ringside! Suede takes out Wing with a twisting plancha! Jaxx slowly staggers up and around – LAST DANCE! 1,2, and Suede breaks it up at the last second! Jaxx heads to ringside, as Wright fights back against Suede – and clotheslines him out of the ring! The ref checks on Suede at ringside – and Jaxx slides back in with a chair! STEEL CHAIR SHOT to Wright’s head! Jaxx disposes of the evidence as the ref turns around, and Jaxx covers Wright for the 1,2,3.

O: 60% (50, 80)

Doug Delicious comes out... uh, enters the ring with a mic

Delicious: “Finally, it’s time – my grace and beauty have been recognised, and I am to receive a shot at the World Title! Frankly, I’m surprised it wasn’t done sooner – just look at me! This is the face that could launch a thousand ships. I have the body of champions. I am the perfect representative for this company… I’d just look ABSolutely delicious with that World Title around my waist. Oh, oh, oh! I can barely wait! I’ll shine that gold so much I’ll be able to see my delicious eyes reflected in it!”

O: 52%
Doug Delicious gained overness from this segment.

Elax vs Lord Jeremiah V

Jeremiah refuses to soil his hands touching Elax, which I can understand. He keeps him at bay for as long as possible, killing the crowd in the process, but finally ties up. Elax gets in his usual next to no offence, as Jeremiah proves himself to be a decent lightweight, pulling out a Jumping Moonsault! Elax decides to make things a bit grosser by drooling all over the ring like a moron, so Jeremiah puts him out of everyone’s misery with a Royal Guillotine for the win.

O: 48% (26, 70)
Lord Jeremiah V debuted his new gimmick (Royalty), it got a positive response. Elax lost overness from this match. Lord Jeremiah V gained overness from this match.

Kurt Stryker prepares for his match

He soaks up the sizeable crowd reaction, then grabs a mic.

Stryker: “Jaxx, I’ve had enough of your crap. You want to talk a load of crap - you want to try and rile me? Congratulations, I’m fired up! If you want a fight, come get a piece of me – right now!”

Stryker waits, but Jaxx doesn’t appear.

Stryker: “So be it. Moving on to Doug Delicious… Double D, I think you might be sadly mistaken. If you think you can take this title from me without a fight, think again. There is always a price to pay to gain the World Title – and this price has to be paid in fire. You’re worried about your looks – then you’re up against the wrong man, because I will burn your world to ashes before I let you take my title. You need to remember, and this goes out to Jaxx as well – when you play with fire, you get burned!”

O: 70%
Kurt Stryker gained overness from this segment.

Kurt Stryker vs Doug Delicious, LAW World Title

Double D is pretty cautious, wary of Stryker’s threats to burn him. He circles and stalls, showing off his body to the fans. Stryker gets sick of it and attacks, but his hot-headedness costs him, as Double D cuts him off and grounds him. Delicious works him over with a chinlock, all the while mouthing off to the fans about how delicious he is. Stryker rallies up and lays in the right hands to Double D’s face, and Delicious bails out to the floor. Stryker doesn’t stop, following him out with a suicide dive! They brawl at ringside, and Delicious comes up the winner, with a Double Arm DDT on the floor!

He rolls Stryker in, but by the time he makes the cover it’s only a two. Delicious grinds down on Stryker again, crushing him with a body scissors. Delicious seems to be in firm control, as he points to the World Title at ringside and struts around the ring. He whips Stryker into the corner, and charges in, but gets a boot for his trouble. Delicious hits a corner clothesline, and Stryker goes down. He pulls himself up as Double D approaches – FIREBALL! Delicious drops like a rock, rolling on the ground and covering his face, as the ball mostly misses. Delicious staggers around the ring clutching his face and crying out “My face, my beautiful face!”, as Stryker sizes him up from behind – GERMAN SUPLEX! 1,2,3!

Stryker is given no time to celebrate, though. Double D retreats as Stryker turns to the fans – and Jaxx comes running down the aisle! He picks apart the already fatigued Stryker, then drops him with a DVD. Jaxx spits down on Stryker’s prone body and leaves, as the World Champion lies fallen.

O: 60% (47, 74)

Overall Show: 59%
Match of the Night: Jaxx and Suede vs Wright and Wing
Worst Match of the Night: Elax vs Lord Jeremiah V

Another loss this month - $7500. My accountant is slowly turning blue over these financial statements. In other news, Elax’s contract was up, and he was gone. I caught him backstage and bid him farewell.

“Elax, I’m almost sorry to see you go. I REALLY hate your gimmick… but geez, you just worked so hard at it. It’s sad to see someone that commited to wrestling with such a crap gimmick. Look, are you sure you don’t want to wrestle under your real name or something-”

Elax: “I’m sure, dude. I want to be Elax.”

“Why? It’s a terrible gimmick.”

Elax: “I love terrible gimmicks. At least I’ll be remembered in the annuals of Wrestlecrap.”

Well, he was right about that.

Elax: "When you realise this place NEEDS Wrestlecrap... then I'll be back."

I replaced him with another wrestler happy to work for less than Elax. The completely unawaited return of Paper Bag Man.

Enhancer's Current Status:

ALPHA 0.01 finished