| Senior Monk
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 242
vBookie Cash: 500
Rep Power: 4  | LAW Danger Zone
The Introduction
Frankie hops up to open the show with a mic in his hand.
Frankie: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome, to Danger Zone! Tonight, in our main event, the LAW World Title will be defended – Alexis Machine challenges Shiro Yamada, in that very ring. Whoever wins that match will know who they face next month, because tonight there will ALSO be a number 1 contenders match, to decide who will next face the World Champion! This match will be between ‘Psycho’ Mike Legion, and the Canadian Sensation Ryan Wing. The Last Alliance of Wrestling feels that being a contender requires blood, sweat, and tears – which is why the match will be a First Blood match!
Also on the card, Ladies and Gentlemen – say, look over there!”
With overly exaggerated gestures, Frankie points to the other side of the arena. Around a dozen people turn to see what he’s pointing at, but most spy Frankie rolling underneath the ring. After a minute’s pause, The Flying Armadillo rolls out the other side. Nobody is fooled, but it gets a good laugh.
Overall: 63%
The Flying Armadillo gained overness from this segment.
Doug Delicious vs The Flying Armadillo
“Armadillo – AWAY!” yells Frankie… uh, sorry, The Flying Armadillo, as he “flies” around at ringside, waving his cape around. Double D’s quite content to just look at himself for a while, but they finally lock up and get to it. Between the Flying Armadillo’s posing and efforts to fly, and Delicious’ stops to show of his body, this is mostly a joke match. Good thing, too, because these guys are hardly technical experts. The crowd is behind the Flying Armadillo (I guess) with some very light “We Want Frankie” chants. Armadillo eventually whips Delicious into the ropes and goes for the ridiculously named Armadillonator, but Double D hooks the ropes, leaving Armadillo to taste canvas. One Double Arm DDT later, it’s all over, with Delicious picking up the win.
Crowd: 28%
Match: 66%
Overall: 42%
It's Hammer Time
Big Time Barry Hammond ‘grooves’ his way to the ring, with more gold chains on him than a pimp convention.
Hammond: “Yo, yo, yo – gimme a beat!”
No sound at all is heard, so Hammond starts his freestyle without music.
Hammond:
“Yo, yo, my name’s Big Time, and I’m here to say
Got a match with da Lost Boyz, uh… A-OK!
Yo, my partner’s gonna be da smoothstepping Shawn Wright;
We’re one funky team when we dance…. Um… uh… All right!
Word, Life, Dawg!”
There’s a few rounds of laughter, a bit of good natured booing, and some genuine booing from the people in the audience that don’t seem to pick up that it’s a self-parody. Then again, that was mighty bad.
Overall: 51%
Big Time Barry Hammond gained overness from this segment.
Big Time Barry Hammond and Shawn Wright vs The Lost Boyz
Wright does his usual routine, strutting his way to ringside and handing off his sunglasses to a female fan. He gets in the ring and dance some more as Hammond tries to imitate him. And fails. Badly. You haven’t lived till you’ve seen a 350 pound black man trying and horribly failing to bust a move. After a few minutes of standard tag action, the lights go out as the Lost Boyz signal, then flick back on to reveal Hammond beaten down in the ring. Heel double teaming on Hammond for a while, keeping him away from the hot tag to Wright. Big Time eventually backs – after Azrael grounds him with a chinlock, Hammond staggers up, leaving Azrael hanging off his neck. Gabriel jumps in and climbs on Hammond with a second chinlock, and Big Time lumbers across the ring with both Lost Boyz hanging off his neck to get the hot tag to Shawn Wright.
Wright drops both Lost Boyz, then pulls out one of his favourite moves – he slams Gabriel down, turns his back… then moonwalks across the ring backwards to Gabriel and hits a standing moonsault onto him. If the People’s Elbow got over, a moonwalk moonsault certainly can too. Hammond recovers and mashes Azrael into the corner with an avalanche. The Lost Boy stumbles out – right into a Last Dance from Wright for the 3 count and the win.
Crowd: 41%
Match: 74%
Overall: 51%
Kurt Stryker vs Garrett Jaxx
You know, Stryker’s gimmick would be a lot cooler if he had some decent pyrotechnics for his entrance. Holding his hand over a cigarette lighter and nearly burning his fingers in the process is… interesting, but hardly high-tech. Still, it’s not like we can afford anything better. These two are among the best workers on the roster, so it’s a pretty good match-up. Stryker tries three times for the German Suplex, but Jaxx flips in mid-air and lands on his feet each time. He drops Kurt with a modified Michinoku driver, then grabs the lighter and starts mocking Stryker, waving it around like a groupie and making stupid faces. It’s one of those “Don’t touch the urn” moment, as Stryker kips up and nails a leg lariat. He goes for the German Suplex again – and Jaxx reverses it mid move, rolling forward into a Victory Roll! 1,2,3!
Stryker looks impressed and offers a handshake, but Jaxx spits at the extended hand and rolls out of the ring, ignoring it.
Crowd: 36%
Match: 78%
Overall: 51%
And Stryker's not happy
Stryker grabs the mic in one hand and pulls out his custom made cigarette lighter out. It’s got flames painted up and down the side, and he flicks it on. He stares into the flame as he talks.
Stryker: “I did not come here to be spat on. I did not come here to be insulted. I did not come here to be mocked. I came here to fight. I don’t mind losing, but I don’t like to be disrespected. Beware, Jaxx – I’m not a man you want to cross. *He brings the flame closer to his face* You would be wise to remember one thing – when you play with fire, you get burned!”
His German accent isn’t very strong, thankfully, so the crowd didn’t pick up on it. I would have been just about ready to kill someone if I heard another bloody “U-S-A” chant go up. But I guess since Stryker likes fire, he’s alright with the fans. Crazy world.
Overall: 61%
Kurt Stryker gained overness from this segment.
‘Psycho’ Mike Legion vs Ryan Wing, First Blood Match, No1 Contendership
Looking at the scars on Legion and the missing eye, I’d say Wing looks a touch out of his depth in a hardcore style match. Wing starts off with some solid mat wrestling, controlling Legion, but not drawing any blood. He hits a nice standing rana, but that’s not what the crowd wants to see. Legion tears into Wing with some big right hands and savage headbutts. He tries to bite Wing, drawing a few cries for blood from the crowd. Dam ghouls. Legion rallies them up by picking up a chair from ringside and swinging wildly. He rolls back into the ring and takes a shot at Wing, who ducks. The chair hits the top rope and bounces back into Legion’s face, but still no blood. Wing puts the chair down in the middle of the ring, and drops Legion onto it with a Northern Lights Suplex! Easy pin, but wrong sort of match.
Wing punches away at Legion trying to draw the juice, but gets planted with a Legion Spike out of nowhere. Legion lines up as Wing staggers up… and BAM! Chair shot to the head, and Wing is down and out. STILL no blood, so Legion pulls him over to the corner, where he starts biting away at his forehead! As Legion rallies up the crowd, Wing curls up into a ball and blades. Legion pulls him up by the hair, revealing Wing to be bleeding as a result of his biting! The ref calls it, and Legion wins the match. I guess that makes him the official vampire of the fed.
Crowd: 42%
Match: 72%
Overall: 51%
Alexis Machine comes out waving the American flag over his head.
Now that’s cheap heat. I’ll have to remind myself to try getting Yamada to come out with the Japanese flag next time.
Machine: “I know you fans have seen a wild night already, but it’s about to get better. You’re about to see Shiro Yamada get his ass suplexed all to back to Japan! Because I’m big, I’m mean, and I’m an ass-kicking machine! Yamada, get out here - your title reign is about to experience a serious Breakdown!”
He’s big, has an America flag, and catchphrases. Naturally, the crowd ate it up.
Overall: 65%
Alexis Machine gained overness from this segment.
Alexis Machine vs Shiro Yamada, LAW World Title
Covering my ears won’t cover up the “U-S-A” chants going around again. Oh goody – I just love patriotism. Still, I suppose it sells tickets. True to his word, Machine starts off strong as hell, suplexing Yamada around the ring and following up with some standard power stuff – lariats, powerslams, and the like. Shiro cuts him off with a thumb to the eyes and grounds Machine, taking control. He blitzes into Machine with a variety of holds and strikes, showing off why he really is such a damn good wrestling. He finally gives up the ground game and goes up top – and Machine cuts him off! They exchange punches on the top rope – and here it comes… Lexis-Plex off the top rope! BANG! There’s our crowd reaction for the night, as people start buzzing. Machine hauls himself to his feet and signals for the end.
He drags Yamada to the middle of the ring and puts on the Breakdown. Yamada won’t tap. Seriously, he won’t tap – he blatantly refused to lose by submission when I was setting up the booking for the show. Something about how his sense of honour would be impugned if he gave up. Sounded like bull**** to me, but he is the biggest star on my roster. Yamada pulls himself over to the ropes to break the hold.
Machine grabs Yamada from behind for a backdrop, and Yamada nails a mule kick, hitting Machine low. Following the magical laws that govern wrestling, the ref just happened to be looking in the exact wrong direction when that went down. Convenient. Yamada sets Machine up for a Tiger Driver 91! Machine tries to fight it, which he damn well should – given Machine’s a good foot or two taller than Yamada, this is bloody dangerous. Yamada hits it, as Machine just pulls his neck up to save himself from the full brunt of it. Irregardless, Yamada gets the 3 count.
Crowd: 48%
Match: 80%
Overall: 57%
The LAW World title has gained in image.
Overall: 54%
Match of the Night: Yamada vs Machine, World Title
Worst Match of the Night: Double D vs The Flying Armadillo
Backstage, Alexis Machine was irate. I couldn’t blame him.
Machine: “What the **** was that, Chase, what was that? I told you dammit, I’m too tall to take a Tiger Driver 91! You and I agreed he’d sunset flip me for the finish!”
“Alexis, calm down. I TOLD Yamada it was a sunset flip end. Son of a bitch booked his own finish on the spot.”
Machine: “And on top of that, that bastard stiffed me on every punch he threw. You’ve gotta do something about him.”
“Do what? He’s the champ. He’s also far and away the best wrestler and biggest draw this company’s got. I agree the guy’s a prick, but I can’t do anything about that right now!”
Machine calmed himself a little: “OK, Chase, it’s your show. Just one thing – don’t put me in any more matches with him, not if you want your champ to stay healthy.”
---
I wasn’t the only one having headaches. October was a hell of a month for Caulder and the NWA too. The smallest piece of news was that Stu Hart was retiring from active competition in NWA: Canada. It got better, though… and worse, too.
I’d been watching them like hawks, and got some big news – NWA: Detroit Michigan, Bill Watt’s fed was gone. It had apparently gone bankrupt, practically overnight. That meant nothing to LAW – all of their workers are far too expensive, and most wouldn’t even consider signing with us.
It was important news to me, though. Feds didn’t just go into financial meltdown out of nowhere. I knew that old ‘Cowboy’ Bill Watts would probably be horrified if he knew what I knew about Caulder running the NWA… I began to wonder if it was just a simple bankruptcy after all. This needed more investigation. Still, it was good news – one NWA fed down, and LAW is still standing.
The bad news for me came in a day later, and it rocked me off my chair. Sophie came in with the ill tidings – Caulder had gotten his company on TV. NWA: East Coast, Vince McMahon’s outfit, had just picked up a huge TV contract – a prime time deal on Fox. This is as big as it gets – millions, hell, probably billions of dollars in profit. And a good chunk of it is going straight into the pocket of one Jacob Caulder: Wrestling monopolist, crook, scumbag, and murdering son of a *****. Caulder’s got a big step up here. But I don’t care how long it takes – one day, Caulder. One day you’ll regret what you did to Stevie.
---
There was more bad news on the front, though. The demand for wrestling was going up, as it had been a fair while since anything major had been televised. This meant the fans were expecting more from their companies. Which means they wanted to see more than the same dozen workers from us. Specifically, Sophie was telling me to hire two more workers, or lose Public Image. We can’t afford to lose the image – but we can’t afford to pay the workers, either. LAW lost $20,000 this month, thanks to extra advertising and production costs. I sent a tape of our show off to a Local Network, hoping to pull in some more revenue. It came back with the tape broken in half, so I’m guessing they weren’t keen.
Still, I made a few calls to see if there were any monkey wrestlers around. That is, anyone who would work for peanuts. I found two of the sorriest excuses for wrestlers around, and they were still the best trade off of limited talent for limited cash.
Elax, Tweener, 31 Over – This guy’s gimmick is that he is a toilet. No, I don’t mean metaphorically. He actually wrestles in a white outfit, with white shoulder pads for the top, and a toilet seat lid drawn on his ass. He uses an actual toilet seat lid to hit people with. And his finisher is something called The Shitter. I don’t know what it is, but with a gimmick like this, there’s no way he’s ever winning a match, so I’ll never have to see it. More to the point, this dumb bastard wouldn’t change his gimmick for LAW. Yes, he actually LIKES wrestling as a crap (literally) joke. He’s even a decent worker, though – he’s just made some REALLY bad decisions about who he wrestles as.
Kamikaze Kid, Heel, 16 Over– The less disgusting of the two, Kamikaze Kid has all the stage presence of a frightened mouse. The guy has literally no self confidence at all – he could barely mumble out how much he wanted to be paid. He couldn’t convince a ward for of insomniacs that they wanted to sleep, let alone sell a promo. The only thing he could do was put on some high-flying stuff, really. His character isn’t too far away from his real-life self, as he plays a depressed guy who has no interest in his own safety, thus leading to all sorts of weird high spots… many of them botched, too. People just hate the little weed despite his spots, so he’s a heel till he can actually tell people otherwise. Uses the Death From Above, a 450 splash to finish. |