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LAW: New Beginnings

I was nervous, but this was it – our first show. A strictly no-frills affair, this was just a small show with no extras. Not even a play by play commentator, although we had Frankie on colour when he wasn’t wrestling. Of course, we had the advertising – the arena looked like a giant 3d flier with the amount of posters and things we had around. Still, our sponsors are paying big money for it.

I had my road agent Chris Lenart beside me to tell me what the crowd was thinking. He could put it all into percentages, and tell me who was getting over. Good to know, so I thought I’d write down what went down, and what I thought about it… just for posterity’s sake, you understand.

The Introduction

We opened up on Frankie in his non-armadillo role, on the commentary table.
He looks kinda ridiculous dressed in a suit jacket with wrestling tights underneath. Particularly since half the crowd can clearly see the Armadillo mask and cape he has bundled up next to him. He got in the ring to tell people what was going on. We had a cheap mic, but it was good enough to get his voice around to the crowd.

Frankie: “Ladies and Gentlemen welcome, to the opening event of the Last Alliance of Wrestling! LAW is proud to present New Beginnings! Here, we bring some of the best wrestlers in the independent wrestling world to you. But there can be only one man at the top of the mountain – only one man can become the LAW World Champion! We want the absolute best as the champ, so we’ve prepared a wild tournament – so wild we can’t fit it all into one show, which is why LAW’s title tournament will culminate at next month’s show, Crowning of a Champion. But tonight we will find out who will advance – and every match is crucial. Ladies and Gentlemen, in tonight’s matches – EVERY WINNER will advance to the second half of the tournament. And every loser will go home empty-handed. It’s time for New Beginnings to begin!”

Huh, that Frankie’s got a hell of a voice on him – he’d be right at home as at a carnival or as an auctioneer. Good stuff.

Overall: 68%
The Flying Armadillo debuted his new gimmick (Comedy Character), it got a positive response. The Flying Armadillo gained overness from this segment.

The Lost Boyz were up next with a promo

Azrael: “We are the Lost Boyz. We are the creatures of dreams…”
Gabriel: “…creatures of nightmares.”
Azrael: “I am Azrael…”
Gabriel: “… and I am Gabriel. We have come to bring redemption to the sinners of the Last Alliance of Wrestling. We have come to save them.”
Azrael: “But the road to perdition is not an easy one… one must do as Gabriel and I have. You must pass through the fire and the tests of pain… all sinners must prove themselves worthy of redemption.”
Gabriel: “We seek lost souls, like ourselves. Come, follow the Lost Boyz, and we shall guide you…”
Azrael: “Guide to our master, Satan…”

Oh…kay. They want to redeem sinners, THEN take them to hell? This crowd’s hardly fundamentalists, but they drew the line when Satan came into it, and the Lost Boyz started making upside down crosses. Time to tone the gimmick down a little.

Overall: 54%
Azrael debuted his new gimmick (Occult), it got a negative response. Gabriel debuted his new gimmick (Occult), it got a negative response. Azrael gained overness from this segment. Gabriel gained overness from this segment.

The Lost Boyz vs Big Time Barry Hammond and The Flying Armadillo

Hammond makes his way out pulling off all sorts of hand signs he assures me will give him street cred, and is known as “bling-blinging”. I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about, but it’s certainly a sight to watch a gigantic fat black man decked out in chains try to look cool on his way to the ring. The Flying Armadillo comes out in full attire, cape and all, as the crowd blatantly notices Frankie is missing from his commentary position. A few “We want Frankie” calls go up. The Lost Boyz turn him into the Flying Armadillo literally, chucking him over the top rope. Azrael and Gabriel make a good team, and pretty much pick apart the other two with double-teams. Hammond eventually throws his weight around and sets Gabriel up for a superplex, but Azrael pulls him down… shaking the whole damn ring in the process. Remind me to have that reinforced some time. The Lost Boyz hit an Unholy Roller, their double-team finisher, on Big Time to win it.

Crowd: 37%
Match: 69%
Overall: 53%
Big Time Barry Hammond debuted his new gimmick (Sucka), it got a positive response.

‘Canadian Sensation’ Ryan Wing vs Doug Delicious

Wing looks crisp, and I mean fucking crisp out there. That kid’s going to be big money some day. Double D’s well used to bumping, so that’s what he does here, as Wing takes flight. Wing hits a nice series to try and get the crowd into it, climbing up to the top rope and hitting a flying elbow drop. I love that move. Crowd still isn’t sold… I think some of them left after the nonsense with the Lost Boyz. Wing ain’t done, though, as he hops straight back up and hits a moonsault, but then misses with his third try, as Double D moves out of the way of a leg drop off the top. The crowd shuts down a bit as Delicious goes on offence, as he’s a bit plodding. He takes a breather to strut for the crowd, running his fingers through his hair and mouthing “Delicious” to the fans. He sets up for the Double Arm DDT, but Wing flips him over out of nowhere – into a Northern Lights Suplex, 1,2,3!

Crowd: 24%
Match: 73%
Overall: 48%
Ryan Wing debuted his new gimmick (Blue Chipper), it got a positive response. Doug Delicious debuted his new gimmick (Prima Donna), it got a positive response.

Garrett Jaxx vs ‘Smoothsteps’ Shawn Wright

Wright dances out all the way to the ring, then frames up a female fan at ringside with his hands. He takes the time to take off his sunglasses and places them on her head… nice touch, I thought, even if the things are only worth a buck or two at the markets. Jaxx proceeds to do the polar opposite, approaching the same fan and removing the sunglasses, then crushing them on the ground. It’s fairly obvious the woman’s a plant, but hey – it got the fans cheering Wright and booing Jaxx, so it’s all good. Late on in the match, they close up with a sequence of finisher reversals. Jaxx picks Wright up for a DVD, Wright rolls off and goes for the Last Dance. Jaxx tries to shove Wright towards the ropes, but Wright holds on, as they both collapse into the ropes and spill out to the floor. They then proceed to head off for a spot of crowd-brawling. The ref reminds them it’s just a standard match, and counts them both out, making it a draw. Ooh, crowd didn’t like that result. Too bad, folks – come back and buy a ticket to see who wins the inevitable rematch. Wright and Jaxx don’t halt for the bell, though, brawling out back through the crowd and out of sight.

Crowd: 37%
Match: 79%
Overall: 58%
Smoothsteps Shawn Wright debuted his new gimmick (Fun Babyface), it got a positive response.

Alexis Machine hops in next for a pre-match promo.

Machine: “My name is Alexis Machine, and my occupation is professional ass-kicker! I’m big, I’m bad, and I’m damn sure mad – and I’m going to be the champ around here. I’m sure everyone would love to see me beat the tar out somebody, and that’s just what I’m planning on. So Yamada, you masked bastard, get out here, and take a good old fashioned American style ass whooping!”

Ah, the good old playing on the patriotic harp. His opponent’s foreign, which automatically makes him evil according to the rules of wrestling.

Overall: 69%
Alexis Machine debuted his new gimmick (Bad Ass), it got a positive response. Alexis Machine gained overness from this segment.

Alexis Machine vs Shiro Yamada

Sure enough, the ever faithful “U-S-A” chants break out as the match starts. Kind of stupid, but I guess the fans don’t know Machine’s at least ¼ Russian. Yamada demonstrates why he’s worth what I’m paying him so damn much, as a few of the fans have even heard of him. We did advertise him pretty predominantly in our fliers as a Japanese superstar. Machine just uses nothing but power here, pulling out a few T-Bone Suplexes. He hits the Lexis-Plex, but only gets two. Yamada takes Machine’s head off with a stiff roundhouse kick, quite literally. Stiff bastard. He tries for a TD91, but Machine backdrops him out of it. Yamada finishes like a good foreign heel, backsliding Machine and putting his feet on the ropes for leverage to steal the three.

Crowd: 44%
Match: 79%
Overall: 61%

Mike Legion heads out to the ring next.

I can see a few fans eyeballing him, and I can’t blame them – he’s quite a sight with a ripped shirt and that damn eyepatch. He’s added to the effect by not shaving for a few says, giving him a nice castaway style beard.

Legion: “I promise, I’ll give you what you all came to see – blood! Some people call me ‘Psycho’ but they don’t understand my unique talents. You see this eye?”

Legion lifts up his eyepatch showing he’s indeed missing an eye. I laugh as a few of the crowd gasp – every thought it was a fake.

“I lost that eye playing about with dangerous things. Everyone said I had no fear, so I know I’m in the right business. I’m going to do whatever it takes, however I need to, to become the World Champion around here – now let’s get psycho!”

Overall: 54%
Psycho Mike Legion debuted his new gimmick (Psycho), it got a positive response. Psycho Mike Legion gained overness from this segment.

Kurt Stryker vs ‘Psycho’ Mike Legion, Hardcore Match

Nobody has the slightest idea who Stryker is, but it’s kinda obvious he’s german. He fights the evil foreigner effect though, by coming out playing with a cigarette lighter and staring into the flame. What a wonderful message for all the impressionable kiddies out there… but then, if they’re watching this show, their parents probably need an ass-kicking. I also observe that Stryker has no eyebrows… I won’t ask why.

Anyway, every good indy fed needs at least one gimmick match on the card, and this one’s a hardcore match to close out the show. You know how these things work – the guys beat each other around with trash cans lids, popcorn, beer cups, and whatever else is lying around. They generally make for pretty poor matches, too. Psycho provides the blood as promised, blading himself as Stryker dropkicks a chair into his head. Stryker gets a nice pop when he goes for a table, but the crowd falls apart when the table legs do as Kurt tries to set it up. Cheap indy tables. Legion improvises by throwing a chair into Stryker’s head and giving him a Legion Spike, but only gets two. He follows it up with a Psycho Driver ON the chair, folding Stryker’s neck up like an accordion, and THAT will be all – 1,2,3.

Crowd: 30%
Match: 68%
Overall: 49%
Kurt Stryker debuted his new gimmick (Pyromaniac), it got a positive response.

Overall Show: 55%
Match of the Night: Shiro Yamada vs Alexis Machine
Worst Match of the Night: Ryan Wing vs Doug Delicious

Backstage, I found the Lost Boyz merrily planning their next appearance. As I walked up behind them, I caught their discussion.

Gabriel: “So we’ll get the goat, right, and take it out there, right, and get the knife, right-”

“Uh, Gabriel, don’t mean to interrupt… but you guys have got to tone it down out there. I don’t mind pushing the envelope a little, but hailing Satan in the middle of a show? Last thing we need is negative publicity here. Keep it gothic, not Satanic.”

Azrael: “We understand, but doing a 180 on our gimmicks might hurt us a little.”

“Too bad. Crowd hated it, so did I, tone it down.”

I walked away, only just catching Azrael asking his partner under his breath where they were supposed to dispose of a goat now. Okaaaaaaay.

Sophie told me people liked the show overall – in fact, our Public Image has gone up to 25% now. Even better, we actually made money: at the end of the month, we took $5000 profit! If I was looking to make my fortune, this was the wrong business… but of course, that wasn’t what I was after. But as long as we make money, we stay in business.

I got news that LAW weren’t the only ones in business – a new fed by the name of Total Championship Wrestling appeared, and promptly signed up a few names like Lance Silva and Rising Son. However, they were set up in a Backyard, so I figured they were blowing the budget early. They’re no threat to LAW, and they’ll probably go ‘smash’ pretty quickly on their own. If not, Caulder’s always around to give them a brief nudge… but I don’t think he’ll bother for small potatoes outfits like LAW and TCW.

Halfway through September, I was proven right about TCW – they fired half their workers, having yet to put on a show. They then rehired half of them. The guy running it obviously didn’t listen much during common sense class.

Enhancer's Current Status:

ALPHA 0.01 finished