Jayman

*Your screen blinks and flashes, and suddenly the feed from the Clique Wrestling Federation is alive on your set! A package highlights the events that took place a week ago during the Clique Rumble. First, God (not the supreme being) going over the three lovely beauties of the CWF: Lady HotRod, Emma, and Jackie Pies. Next, Erin with the low-blow out of desperation to Suntan Superman. She is shown with her arm raised in victory, in pure exhaustion, and a bloody SS looking up at the lights. Clips of the African Hooligans and I-squared brawling first in a bar, then a lab, and finally in the ring. I-squared in a quick clip raising their belts victoriously. CM getting his hand raised after the victory over “Anarchy in the UK”, but it shows Half-Boy and Emma celebrating by themselves on the entrance ramp. Simon with a big chokeslam on Felix and he retains with that move. Quick clips after that of various superstars being eliminated in the Rumble. Dakstang and CM Drunk starting us off, with Dak lasting long into the match. Shows the final 4 of the Rumble staring each other down from each of the 4 corners: Erin, Suntan Superman, Mr. Cool, and Crocker. The final shot shows Mr. Cool running full speed ahead into Erin, sending her crashing to the mat outside, and Joe Cool getting his hand raised, as a graphic for “CliqueMania” appears before fading out.

Our show starts in the Commissioner’s office, where loud screams and yelling can be heard. Felix is shown getting irritated, and looks around his office to survey the chaos ensuing in his office. CM Drunk is at the forefront, with Crocker and Phantom right behind him trying to yell over him. To the side are Rambo and Necro, hoods up, either throwing up gang signs or trying to get the Commissioner’s attention. Invictus and Inogenius, with the tag titles over their shoulders, are sitting in the back of the office grinning. Half-Boy and Emma are notably absent from the room.

CM Drunk: Commissioner!! Half-Boy and I are the number one contenders for the tag titles! We won our match at the Rumble, and we have another win prior to that as well.
Crocker: Zip it, kid. Phantom and I have been running this tag division since before you were a member of this board…er, federation. Felix will do the right thing and give the shot to the most two deserving guys here, the veterans!
Rambo: Yo Commish, check this shit. Id8ad0, he sd80c ddi s03 cc;s93
Phantom: ….Apparently Rambo is on another drunken 3am tirade….
CM Drunk: Don’t listen to any of these guys, Felix…wins are what is most important. Half-Boy and I are one hell of a team, we have had a lot of success together, and plus we have a hot manager people love to see! We = ratings!
Necro: If you’re such a good team, how come your partner isn’t here supporting your case?

*They continue to argue amongst themselves, and I-squared stand up from their seats in the back and walk around behind the desk of Felix, joining him on either side. The Commissioner is weary of this, but both men begin whispering in his ear. Felix looks focused as he listens to the brilliant minds, and has a look of confidence as he stands up and hushes his crowd. He begins to speak while I-squared stand next to him proudly.

Felix: I have had a revelation on how to handle the tag team title situation. Over the next few weeks, we will hold somewhat of a competition. Each of the 8 of you will compete in singles matches. After you all have competed, I will gather the team with the best score, or who I deemed to have been most successful, and team them up to face the team of Inogenius and Invictus and Cliquemania. So, if the team of Phantom and Necro perform the best in their respective singles matches, they will face I-squared. If CM Drunk and Rambo perform the best, they will challenge the title holders.
Inogenius: If I can interject, Mr. Felix. I believe you misspoke and miscalculated in your earlier statement, as I heard the number “eight” escape your lips, rather than “six.” Can you clarify this confusion?
Felix: Sure. Ino, you and Invictus will be included in this little experiment, just because I want to see how you two fend for yourselves without the other in your corner.

*Everyone looks on in wonder, and looks around the room at the various individuals, thinking up the various possibilities of who could be their tag partner come Cliquemania.

Felix: The first match will be the pride of England, Crocker, against the walking drunken tirade himself, Rambo. Oh, and that match………is next.

*We cut to the opening of “The Clique is RAW”, with various clips of the superstars executing moves, and doing other wild and crazy things you see on the openings of RAW, Smackdown, Impact, etc…The montage ends and we are treated to pyrotechnics galore, loud and generic rock music, and fans cheering until their voices go hoarse. We are LIVE tonight from the Rogers Centre in Toronto, Canada. This weeks sign’s made from fans are spotlighted, and include: “Joe Cool = Your Next Champ”, “Simon smells like my dead pet goat”, “Zar is my secret lover…it’s true”, and “Dakstang loves Ron Paul”. We head over to the announcers table, where good ol’ TD and Jayman are at ringside.

Jayman: Well it’s good to see you here, Tyler. Lots of rumors about whether or not you’d be here tonight, but I see you are fulfilling your requirements listed by the CWF contract.
TD: I am here and ready for some more CWF action!!! And after the events that have transpired after last week’s Pay-Per-View, I have one question…..
Jayman: …….why would someone own a dead pet goat?
TD: Not quite. Does Joe Cool have what it takes to walk away from Cliquemania with the World Heavyweight Title? Mr. Cool survived 29 other men and women in last week’s Rumble to be declared the number one contender. And…

*”Heartache Tonight” starts up, cutting off the play-by-play man. The crowd is on their feet as Joe Cool walks out from behind the curtain to a massive applause. He is dressed in tan dress pants and a button-down polo shirt, and nods his head along to the music, obviously in a good mood. He heads down to the ring, slapping hands of his fans along the way. JC slides inside and is handed a microphone. He looks around and smiles, waiting for the cheers to die down before addressing the crowd.

Joe: So we’ve had this wonderful federation around since the late fall, and all the while we’ve seen a ton go down. We’ve seen the birth of the MWO, which is now the CWO. We’ve seen women fighting men, we’ve seen people get busted open and bleed all over. We’ve seen people fight in bars, in No-DQ matches, we’ve seen tag team champions crowned. And last week, we saw “Yours Truly” outlast 29 other people to win the Clique Rumble (cheers). Although, the one thing we’ve seen since the beginning, the one constant around here, is Simon walking around with the Title Belt. (boos). And I want you all to know….

*The CWO Theme cuts off Mr. Cool, and the smiles in the crowd turn to frowns, and out walks Simon. He is in a well tailored gray suit, and his goatee is trimmed up very nicely, with his hair sparkling with gel and hair spray. Under his suit jacket, the World Title Belt is strapped around his waist. Simon surveys the crowd for a moment before laughing and heading towards the ring, ignoring Joe Cool who is staring him down. He instead is looking at the people seated along the aisle ways and just laughs at them. Simon steps in the ring, walking right by Joe without looking at him, and grabs a mic from the apron. Simon finally stands face to face with Joe, who has had his eyes locked on the champion the whole time.

Simon: I’m sorry Joe, I think I cut you off there. You were gonna say, “And I want you all to know….”…..what?
Joe Cool: (hesitantly, but then getting more definite) I want you all to know…..that come Cliquemania, we will have a new champion in the CWF. (cheers).
Simon: Aw, that’s cute Joe. Since the birth of this foru….er, federation….I have been the leader around here. I won the title in the very beginning, and have plowed through every piece of competition that was thrown at me. I went through the World Title tournament back in October, just like you did Joe. That tournament worked out pretty well for me, as you can tell (gestures down towards his belt). But for you pal, it didn’t end so well. I recall that you and myself were 2 of the last 3 remaining to determine the champ, and I disposed of you in the triple threat match just before Survivor Monks. And then…
Joe Cool: Let me finish that for you. “And then….” That doesn’t matter anymore. Because I’m the number one contender now. For what seems like ever, we’ve all had to listen to the B.S. that you shoved down our throat. Just because you were the boss around here? Well I’m here to tell you that I’m sick of being the “sidekick” in this foru…federation. At Cliquemania, the #2 man becomes the #1 man.

*Joe drops his mic down and plants his face a mere foot (30.48 cm for those of you outside the U.S.) away from Simon’s face. Joe’s expression is frustrated, determined, and all the while also calm as well. Simon slowly nods his head, as if to understand what Joe is saying. Simon is the first to turn and walk out of the ring, ending the segment.

Tyler: You could cut the tension in there with a knife. It seems to me there is more to this feud than just the World Title. It’s almost as if they hate each other for other….
Jay: Let’s press forward, we have a lot of material to get through here!!! Haha..sponsors TD, sponsors. Have to keep them happy.

*The bell rings and we have our first match of the night. “Bad Boys” is playing and out walks Rambo, alone, through the crowd. He grabs the beer of a fan and takes a huge gulp. The fan doesn’t mind, and cheers on Rambo before slapping him on the back. Rambo gets in the ring and awaits his opponent. “Anarchy in the UK” is next and out walks Crocker, to some boos. He is once again using the flag of England as a cape, and removes it before waving it proudly above his head. The Canadian crowd doesn’t care for this, and boo him to holy hell. He steps in the ring and this match is off. Crocker starts with some European Uppercuts, and Rambo falls early. Crock slaps on a chokehold, and Rambo is struggling to break himself free. The crowd is behind Rambo though, and start clapping and chanting his name: “Ram-bo. Ram-bo. Ram-bo”. Eventually, Rambo with an elbow to the midsection of Crocker, and another, and another, and he flips him up and back to a backdrop. Crocker rolls around and Rambo with some (drunken?) footstomps. Rambo with an irish whip, and a double clothesline. Crocker up first, and he throws Rambo into the corner. Spear into the corner. Crocker sets up Rambo on the top rope and hits a top rope suplex!! Crocker gets up top and leaps off – he lands his finishing move, the English Elbow Drop, and covers Rambo for 3.

TD: So ring up my fellow Englishman for a point there and he is on a roll there.
Jay: The good news for Rambo is he will wake up in the morning and this match will seem like just like any other hangover for him.

*Backstage, Erin and Zar333 are talking. The crowd can be heard screaming louder than ever now, cheering on their fellow Canadians. Zar can hear the cheers and smiles, but turns his attention to Erin, who is lacing up her boots.

Zar: Just wanted to tell you, nice job at the Rumble last week. Not only did you defeat Suntan Superman, but you also had a great showing in the Rumble.
Erin: Well, I guess I couldn’t go 2 for 2 there. I can still be known as the girl who won the inaugural Rumble though, even if that was months ago. And it’s great to see that a fellow Canadian is getting some more airtime in the CWF now. You are starting to prove yourself. You also had a good showing last week, Zar.
Zar: Thanks. We should date.
Erin: What?
Zar: Oh..nothing. So who are you fighting tonight?
Erin: One-half of the tag team champions, actually. Inogenius. It’s part of Felix’s whole “Tag Team in Single’s competition thingie”.
Zar: The name needs work. At any rate, good luck tonight.

*They hug and Zar walks off, leaving Erin alone. The camera follows Zar around and out of the locker room, and he stops to see an interview taking place backstage. Not wanting to walk in front of it, Zar looks on and listens in. Jackie Pies is standing next to Giganto, Blade, and Gigglypuff, who all have smirk looks on their face.

Jackie Pies: I just wanted to get your reaction to Felix’s announcement for next week’s matchup. He has announced that Blade and Giganto will take on Joe Cool and a partner of his choosing next week in tag action. Any response to that?
Blade: What does it matter, really? Once again, we are at a disadvantage because we can’t prepare for both our opponents. Typical crap from Felix: setting us up in some situation where we are doomed to fail, but like my girl Gigglypuff here, I’ll always come out on top.
Gigglypuff: You got that right, baby. (they makeout and start rolling around on the floor, removing clothes. Jackie Pies turns to Giganto, awkwardly)
Jackie Pies: Um, Giganto, anything to add?
Giganto: I have a few things. First off, you’re looking pretty sexy there, little lady. Secondly, I have proven that no matter the challenge put in front of me, I can overcome it. I went into the Gauntlet match at Survivor Monks, not knowing who was going to get thrown at me next, and ending up winning the damn thing anyway. Sure, I came up a little short at the Rumble, but that wasn’t without controversy. If you remember, I never even got in the ring before four, count ‘em: 4, people shoulder blocked the holy hell out of me and sent me to the mat. The referee’s just determined me eliminated, but they were dead wrong. I should’ve won the whole damn thing, I am the “Most Valuable Player” around here, or the “Most Outstanding Player”, call it what you want. Facts are facts.
Jackie Pies: I’m…uh…sorry to hear that?
Giganto: (gets closer) It’s okay baby. The good thing is that you are here now to “lick my wounds”. You keep talking about your Giant, but the fact remains: You haven’t seen MY giant. I like to call him…..Mr. Giganto. Heh heh…

*Jackie looks uncomfortable, and squirms away before Gigglypuff reaches out and slaps her across the face before the three leave. Jackie drops to a knee and immediately places her hand over her cheek. Zar runs over to her and attends to Jackie Pies, looking beyond at Giganto and Gigglypuff in a pissed off state.

Jay: Well, they said Zar was here to save us. I suppose he’s going to start with Jackie Pies.
TD: A true lack of class from the CWO there. But that doesn’t really surprise me anymore.

*The bell rings and we are set for our next matchup. “Champagne Supernova” by Oasis blares over the loudspeakers and out walks Erin to cheers. She smiles and waves at the crowd before getting in the ring. “Beethoven’s Fifth” is next and Inogenius walks out, with an calculator and a copy of Mark Twain’s “Life on the Mississippi” for some reason. He is reading as he heads down the ramp, and must have finished the chapter because he smiles and closes the book before stepping in the ring. We’re off and Erin with a takedown attempt, but Ino dodges it, and taps his head with a finger as if anticipating that move. Ino runs against the ropes and connects with a flying cross body. Erin rolls out of the ring to collect herself and Ino heads to the corner to continues reading Twain. Erin rips the book out of an unsuspecting Ino’s hands and throws it into the crowd, where it is ripped to shreds. Ino looks on in horror and turns his attention to Erin. Erin with a right hand and a belly-to-belly suplex. Ino is down and Erin slaps on an ankle lock. The crowd is on their feet, and Ino is screaming bloody murder. He inches towards the ropes…goes to tap…no….he grabs the ropes and Erin immediately removes the hold. Ino flips over and kicks Erin in the midsection while still lying on the floor. Erin tumbles backwards, and Ino kips up before a running knee to the face. Erin falls down in a heap and covers her face with her hands. When she removes them, she sees blood on her hand, and realizes the knee shot caused her nose to bleed. In a fit of rage, Erin gets up and charges Ino, but he twists around behind Erin and locks in his version of the sleeper hold, “The Scholarly Strangle”. Exhausted, Erin quickly succumbs to the move, and the referee drops her hand once….twice…….and three times. The bell rings and the referee raises the arm of Inogenius as medics come out to stop the bleeding from Erin’s nose, who is still unconscious.


Jay: Give a nod to Ino here, who has managed to sneak out a win from Erin. I’m told Invictus also has to prove himself in the next match of the evening, and his opponent is……
TD: Your boy, Slimdust!! The self-proclaimed “Sexy-Weight Champion” himself has agreed to take on one half of the tag champions in the competition set forth by our commissioner earlier tonight. I believe we are going backstage now……

*The camera is shaking up and down down a hallway, and after a moment we realize the cameraman is running down the hallway at a fast speed. Yelling and loud noises are heard coming from somewhere backstage, and the announcers are clueless. Eventually, the cameraman turns the corner and Suntan Superman is being restrained by two security guards in the hallway. Farther down the hallway is Felix, who is screaming at the Samoan.

Felix: Don’t you dare come into my office and demand matches like that! I am not afraid of you, SS. Remember who pays your bills.
SS: I don’t give a damn!!! Erin got lucky last week, and then I was eliminated cheaply in the Rumble? I’m going to forget last week ever happened, and take out my aggression on SOMEONE tonight. I don’t give a fuck who. Give me an opponent!
Felix: You want someone to fight? Fine, I’ll give you someone who can match you. Your opponent in tonight’s main event is…….Mikk!!!!!!!!!
SS: …..Great. That’s all I wanted Felix. Now if you have your goons let go of me, I have a match to prepare for.
Felix: Fine. And if you see Simon on your way out to the ring, give him a message for me. He’s got a match next week. Oh, and his precious World Title will be on the line, too.

TD: What the hell!??!
Jay: With Cliquemania only a few weeks away, Simon can’t afford to lose the match next week. He could forfeit his chances of being in the main event of the biggest show of the year!!
TD: And an opponent has not been named. Clearly Felix is continuing to stack the odds in favor of anyone except the Clique World Order.
Jay: (looking at the ring) Oh crap.
TD: It seems we have two visitors out in the middle of the ring, and wouldn’t you know, it they both have microphones.

*The camera pans to show Dakstang and God standing in the middle of the ring, smiling at the crowd. Their gesture is not returned, however, and instead they receive gestures that made “Stone Cold” Steve Austin famous. They brush it off, and God nods to Dakstang, who speaks first.

Dakstang: I am out here tonight to address the masses. I have two items on my agenda. The first doesn’t really apply to the people here, but to my fans watching at home. I want to remind you all that this fall, an election will be taking place. This election will be to select the next President of the United States of America. Ladies and Gentleman…Ron Paul is……..(Dakstang continues to speak, but his microphone appears to have cut out. After a few moments, he waves his hands frantically…) Fine, fine, I get the idea. My next topic is a bit more personal, it happens to do with how I have been treated lately. I am an American hero, and while this may be Canada, also known as the toilet of North America (huge boos!), you are still a part of our continent so feel free to cheer me on. Anyway, I was not included in a match at Clique Rumble, but I didn’t harp on it. Instead, I made good use of what was given to me during the Rumble match. Even though someone fixed the order number and I drew number 2, I lasted almost until the very end.

*God claps at Dak’s accomplishments, and smiles at the crowd, who are still booing him. He either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care.

Dak: As the President of Dakland, I hereby declare war on the CWF. I have been given no recognition since this company’s inception. I was put into a match a few months ago against the weirdest, slimiest, grossest individual here, and I came out victorious. I have been a company man and have done whatever was asked of me. But did anyone care? No. All of you people are put on warning: you are either with us or against us. In the coming weeks, I will be naming my cabinet members. If you want on my good side, donations can be made to the Ron Paul Organiz…..(Dak’s microphone goes out again - he screams “What the hell??”)

TD: What on earth was all that crap about? Dak declaring war on the CWF? Dakland? What kind of people would make up their own country?
Jay: ………I have….no…idea.
TD: Well, Dak is leaving up the ramp in a huff, but unfortunately God (not the supreme being) is still in the middle of the ring. And, oh crap, he’s actually raising his microphone to talk.
God: Like Dakstang, I too have a few choice words to say this evening to all of you. After my convincing win in “the match of the night”, I left the Clique Rumble and headed home to Dublin, Ireland and spent the past week with my cohorts celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. Before coming to the “Armpit of the Western Hemisphere”, also known as Canada, I went through all (ten) of my fan letters. Some of them shocked me. A few of my loyal fans were upset with my latest adventures in targeting the females of the CWF. They cited me as “chicken”, “a wuss”, and a few other words that can’t be spoken here on cable.

*He pauses for a moment to collect his next thoughts, and the crowd uses this rare silence from the “Master-Debator” to get in a few jeers and boo’s for him. God shushes them down by raising a finger to his lips, and continues.

God: So they might be right. That’s why, at this time, I would like to invite out my 3 opponents from the Clique Rumble here to the middle of this ring with me. I’d like to publicly apologize to how I’ve treated them in the past few weeks. So ladies, if you would please.

*After a few moments of God standing in the ring, “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls plays and out walks Emma, slowly and cautiously. She keeps her eyes locked on the ring, and behind her follows Jackie Pies and Lady HotRod. The three beauties step into the ring simultaneously and stand a few feet away from God.

God: Ladies, please take a look on the screen behind you. I want to remind everyone of the brutal acts I have done lately, before I apologize. I know it’s hard to watch, but please….

*He gestures them to look at the screen behind them. Emma, Jackie Pies, and Lady HotRod eventually turn and look, and are treated to clips of God laying out each of the three of them separately, then clips of the Rumble show God getting the best of them yet again. The screen turns back to the live action, and the girls watch from the screen as God is running towards them. Jackies and Lady HotRod turn just in time to be met with a double clothesline by God, and the two girls fall. Emma goes to run out of the ring, but God snatches her up. He hoists her above his head, and hurls her into the ring ropes, upside down. Just as during the Rumble, Emma bounces off the ropes and drops right to the mat face-first. God continues by picking up Lady HotRod and rolling her on her stomach and spanking her once, twice, three times. He is laughing now, and turns his attention to a fallen Emma. Already on her stomach, God also spanks her a few times, and gets a big grin out of it. He turns to Jackie Pies, but she isn’t there. Confused, he looks around the ring, and stands up. He doesn’t see Jackie Pies behind him, but looks at the screen to see Jackie’s arm coming up fast between his legs. Jackie’s fist meets God’s “Apostles”, and the Master-Debator goes down clutching himself in pain. He screams out in horror and rolls around the ring. Jackie Pies lifts up a beaten Emma and walks off with her, while Lady HotRod eventually leaves under her own power.

TD: And God finally got a little taste of revenge there, courtesy of Jackie Pies. He’ll have to ice those babies down tonight.
Jay: I’ve heard God likes it a little rough, so he may have enjoyed that more than you would think.

*The bell rings and “Beethoven’s Fifth” plays for the second time tonight. This time, Invictus comes out for his “Singles Challenge”. With his partner already successful, Invictus appears confident as he heads to the ring, his opponent unknown. To his horror, the familiar Britney tune “I’m Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman” is next, and the Sexy-Weight Champion struts out, his pink sparkly belt wrapped around his waist proudly. Slimdust dances to the beat, and places his pink feather boa around the neck of a 20-something man, who gets pissed and throws it to the ground before stomping it. Slimdust doesn’t notice that, and instead somersaults into the ring. Invictus looks on with wide-eyes and pleads for the referee not to ring the bell. However, he does and Slim runs at Invictus to start this match. Slim jumps on Invictus and knocks him down. While sitting atop him, Slim throws some punches at Invictus and he is trying to roll Slim off, but to no avail. Invictus uses his lower body to try and “fling” him off, but instead it looks like Slim and Invictus are in some sort of “activity” and Slim rolls with it by rocking with the motion. Invictus screams and gets out of the hold, squirming out. Invictus gets in a snap suplex and goes for a cover, opting for only putting his foot on Slim’s chest, rather than his whole body. Only a 1 count. Slim with a dropkick, and goes to the corner. When Invictus rises, Slim does a cartwheel that results in a kick to the face of Invictus, and he’s back down. Slim climbs to the top, and performs a 450 splash, but Invictus moves out of the way!! Invictus slowly climbs to the top rope himself, catching his breath along the way. He waits for a moment while Slim struggles to get up. Once he’s standing but groggy, Invictus leaps off the top rope to hit his top rope double axe handle, called the “Clever Cleaver”, but Slim sticks out an arm and clotheslines him in mid-air!! The third high risk move in a row, Slim climbs back up top and leaps off for another 450 splash, this time connecting with Invictus. Slim hooks the leg..1…..2……3! Slimdust prevails, and he gets his arm raised in victory by the ref. Happy to come out with a win, Slimdust hugs the referee awkwardly, and doesn’t let go immediately. Invictus rolls out of the ring and heads to the back for a long, cold shower.

TD: Your boy picking up a “W” there Jay. Any comments?
Jay: I would like to challenge him for that Sexy-Weight title belt. That is all.
TD: Let’s toss in Dakstang and make it a three-way dance. Three ways and dances: two things Slim is very fond of.
Jay: Well, I’m sure they outlaw that kind of stuff in Dakland.

*We go backstage again, and Half-Boy is with a hurt Emma, who are both loading their bags into the trunk. He ushers Emma to the passengers seat and hops in the drivers seat, when CM Drunk comes running towards them. Half-Boy gives a sigh and puts the car in park, rolling down his window to speak with CM Drunk.

CM Drunk: Yo man, what happened to you earlier today? I missed you at the Commissioner’s office, we were supposed to make our case for challenging for the World Tag Titles at Cliquemania.
Half-Boy: Yeah, I got here late today, sorry. And since I’m not scheduled to wrestle tonight, I’m taking Emma back to the hotel to nurse her injuries.
CM Drunk: Well, I wanted to talk to you about what happened at Clique Rumble. You walked away after we beat Crock and Phantom, didn’t even raise your hand with me. I thought we were a team, man.
Half-Boy: We are, I just needed to head to the back. Anything else?
CM: Yeah, one more thing: for this “Singles Competition” we have going, I managed to get Felix to agree to your opponent next week. You know how Simon is being forced to defend his World Title next week? I told Felix that YOU should be his opponent!!
(Half-Boy’s eyes light up, and he cracks a smile for the first time.)
Half-Boy: Thanks kid, I appreciate that. I also talked to Felix earlier tonight, cause he wanted me to pick your opponent for next week, so I did.
CM: Nice, I like it. Who do I have? )85(? Yankeesman77?
Half-Boy: No. Suntan Superman.

*HalfBoy puts on his sunglasses and raises his car window before driving off, leaving CM Drunk alone in the parking lot. CM has a look of fear on his face, and looks at the speeding car in confusion. Drunk scratches his head and says “What the hell…”

TD: Well I don’t consider that a fair trade. CM stuck his neck out and got Half-Boy the opportunity of a lifetime for next week. He’s got a World Title Shot against Simon! And in return, Half-Boy has “fed his partner to the wolves” against Suntan Superman next week. Why would he do that?
Jay: I’m sure HB didn’t know at the time what match his partner gave him. It was just a miscommunication issue I’m sure. That, or Half-Boy is trying to show his tag partner a little “tough love”.
TD: Speaking of Suntan Superman, he is coming up next in our main event. And he will be going one-on-one with the Mikkster himself!

*The bell rings and “North Country Boy” plays. Mikk walks out in wrestling pants and a “CWF” shirt to cheers. He runs down the ring with a smile, ready to fight. “Banner of Freedom”, the Samoan anthem, plays next and Suntan Superman slowly walks out to some loud boos. He soaks it in and heads in the ring, looking at one of the few men who match the Samoan pound-for-pound. The bell rings and we start out with a test of strength. Mikk looks to gain an early advantage, but Suntan with a kick to the knee and Mikk crumples in pain. Suntan with a running knee and he connects with Mikk’s forehead. SS follows it up with a running splash and covers, but only a 2-count. SS with a hard right, and Mikk falls down yet again. Pulls him up by his hair and Mikk blocks the next punch, picks up the massive Samoan over his shoulders and drops him back with a fallaway slam. Mikk locks in an armbar, but SS soon flips over and reverses it into an armbar of his own. Mikk screams in pain, and is about to tap out…..but doesn’t! He struggles to gain the strength and leaps a few feet and grabs the rope. The referee counts to 4 before SS lets go of the hold. SS picks him up and locks Mikk in a full nelson.

TD: Suntan really going to work on Mikk’s shoulder there. Really applying pressure to the arm and shoulder of Mikk.
Jay: He’s just softening him up before he hits that deadly dominator!
TD: Mikk can reverse his fortune here and hit the Pedigree out of nowhere. Look out now!

Indeed, Mikk snaps forward with all his might, and SS falls right over Mikk, releasing the nelson hold in mid-air. Mikk goes to the top and lands a big splash from the top rope. What a high-risk maneuver! Mikk covers. 1…..2………3…no! SS gets his shoulder up in time. Mikk sucks in a few deep breaths to collect himself and goes back to work on SS, hammering to his challenger. Mikk throws SS into the ropes and hits a sideslam. Another pin, and only a 2 count. Mikk pulls up SS and throws him into the corner. Mikk runs at SS but Suntan moves and Mikk’s chest meets the corner. Mikk falls down backwards and into SS’s arms. Suntan throws him backwards in a belly-to-back suplex. SS is exhausted now, and slowly makes his way to a fallen Mikk. Picks up the Mikkster, but Mikk kicks him square in the stomach, and SS keels over. Mikk locks his head between his legs and locks his arms in his. Pedigree!!! Mikk lands it and SS’s head meets the mat. Mikk covers…1……2…….3no!!!!!! SS gets out yet again!! Mikk can’t believe it. Mikk picks him up for another pedigree, but SS musters up the strength and punches Mikk right in the injured shoulder. Mikk screams and before he knows it he’s hoisted up over SS’s shoulder. The Dominator! SS flips Mikk back down to earth with high velocity and lands his finishing move perfectly before making the cover. 1….2….3!!!! The crowd boos as the bell is rung and SS’s hand is raised in victory.

TD: And in a hardfought match, Mikk couldn’t keep the Angry Samoan down. But give the Mikkster credit here, he gave it all he had, what a physical match that was!
Jay: Don’t look now….they’re coming to the ring!

*Blade, Giganto, and Gigglypuff rush down the aisleway and slide in the ring and Blade begins directing traffic, ordering Giganto and Suntan Superman to pick up Mikk. Giganto obeys, and SS smiles, eager to help dish more pain out. Both Giganto and SS each grab an arm and keep it locked behind Mikk as they stand up his tired and broken body. Mikk barely has the energy to look up and see his enemies Gigglypuff and Blade looking straight at him. Giggly is the first to approach Mikk and she slaps him across the face once, twice, three times. Mikk’s head just slumps down into his chest, but Blade is next. He lifts up Mikk’s chin and spits in his face, then gives him a hard right that busts the Mikkster open. The crowd’s boos are so loud now that the arena is shaking. “Heartache Tonight” plays and Mr Cool starts running to the ring, and how quickly the boos turn to cheers. Giganto and SS drop Mikk in the middle of the ring like a heap of dead weight, and all turn to face Cool, who has jumped onto the apron and is surveying the odds: him against 4.

Jay: Here comes rescue!!!
TD: Mr. Cool is really outnumbered here, and needs to know that before he steps through the ropes.

Cool doesn’t like his odds and climbs back down to the floor, not keeping his eyes off the 4 people in the ring. Suntan Superman, Giganto, Blade, and Gigglypuff egg him to come in the ring, but instead Joe Cool backs away from the ring. Simon slowly walks down the ramp and gets right behind Cool. Joe doesn’t see his enemy behind him , but hears the screams from the fans near him and turns around in time to duck Simon’s swinging Title Belt Shot. In one motion Joe ducks the belt shot and picks up Simon over his shoulder, and runs up the ramp a few steps before landing his Running Powerslam finisher onto the hard steel ramp. Simon writhes in pain and screams, clutching his back. Joe steps up the ramp further, making his way to the curtain, as the fans cheer. Cool manages to keep a fallen Simon between him and the 4 people left in the ring who look pissed off.

TD: Joe Cool got some help from the fans and avoided a cheap shot by Simon! Watch out Simon, because “The Clique Conscience” has his sights set on you!!
Jay: We are DESEPERATELY out of time, Tyler!!!
TD: Yes we are, my cohort. Join us next time as we continue the road to Cliquemania, and Simon puts his World Title on the line!! Goodnight everyone!