SmackDown! – Friday 4th April 2008

Segment 1

The fireworks go off and SmackDown! is underway. Coach welcomes Cole back after he stormed out at ‘Mania. They then talk about tonight’s matches, including, Gregory Helms return to SmackDown!, and also The Undetaker being in action!

Segment 2

SmackDown!’s Wrestlemania highlights are packaged in a video, including Flair’s retirement, Matt Hardy’s successful return against MVP, Big Show’s defeat to Mayweather, thanks to Mark Henry and finishing with The Undertaker maintaining his undefeated streak against Edge.

Segment 3

Edge comes to the ring, along with the rest of the “Guerrero” family, besides Chavo, who is due to be in action shortly.

Edge: “Listen up Taker, you didn’t just screw me over last night, you screwed over this whole Guerrero family! But lightning won’t strike twice, so at Backlash, I’m going to use my rematch clause for the World Heavywei…”

[The lights go out, and a flash of lightning strikes in the middle of the ring, right beside where Edge was standing! The lights return and Edge is lying down in absolute shock! The Edgeheads have fled from the ring and are half way up the ramp! Vickie is standing in the corner with a look of shock on her face.]

Edge: “Where are you two going!? Get back here now!”

[The Edgeheads look at each other, and keep their place at the bottom of the ramp]

Edge: “You may scare these two Undertaker, but not me! You can never scare me!”

[The lights go out again, and then back on, and Undertaker is standing between the Edgeheads! He grabs them both by the throats before double chokeslamming them! (How the hell can he get to the ring so quickly when the lights go out when it takes him so long with the lights on?)]

Edge: “Co…Com…Come on then!”

[Undertaker signals that Edge will Rest In Peace, before the lights go out yet again. There is a second flash of lightning in the centre of the ring! The lights return and The Undertaker has disappeared. Vickie has fainted in the ring! Edge makes his way over to see if she is alright. He then begins to give her the kiss of life even though she has simply fainted. This eventually turns into Edge practically having sexual intercourse with a middle-aged, unconscious, widow in the corner of the ring]

Cole: “So Edge will face Undertaker again at Backlash! I can’t wait partner, what a rematch this will be!”

Coach: “…”

Cole: “Coach?”

Coach: “Oh sorry. Edge and Vickie had me totally distracted there.”

Cole: “Nothing Coach. I just hope that what’s going on in the ring at the moment doesn’t do it for you.”

Coach [drooling]: “…”

Segment 4

Shannon Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang vs Deuce N Domino

This match starts off with Deuce in control of Moore. Deuce N Domino show their tag team skills, tagging in and out at regular intervals. Eventually Moore connects with a diving headscissors takedown on Deuce.

Wang enters the match and cleans house. He dropkicks Domino to the outside; Moore follows this up by diving to the outside and taking Domino out!

On the inside, Yang has climbed to the top and connects with Yang Time! He covers, and Moore and Yang pick up the victory!

Segment 5

Funaki is backstage with The Great Khali.

Funaki: “I, SmackDown!’s #1 announcer, am here with Mr Khali. What I would like to know is, after your impressive, yet failed attempt at winning the Money In The Bank match, what are your current plans to terrorise the SmackDown! roster?”

Khali: “Arrrgh! Agh grawr grrrr argh!”

Funaki: “Would you like noodles with that sir?”

Khali: “Gargh?”

Funaki: “Indeed!!”

[Khali runs at Funaki and attempts to grab him! Funaki covers his face. Khali runs into some television equipment above Funaki’s head and falls to the ground, clutching his skull! Funaki looks at Khali in amusement]

Funaki: “And that’s it from SmackDown!’s #1 Giant Killer!”

Segment 6

Gregory Helms vs Chavo Guerrero (Ladder Match with pinfall)

Helms receives a very warm welcome on his way back down to the ring. He is clearly suffering from some ring rust and struggles with the high speed of the match. The ladder became involved in the match early as Chavo brought it into the ring. He begins to use it to beat Helms down, hitting him in the stomach, then the head and finally slamming it onto his back with Helms on the mat.

Chavo then lays Helms out on top of the ladder before climbing to the top and going for the Frog Splash! Helms manages to roll out of the way though and Chavo hits the steel of the ladder!

Helms uses this opening and manages to hit Chavo with his Shining Wizard! Helms goes for the pin and gets the win! Helms stands in the middle of the ring and celebrates with the crowd.

Chavo climbs to his feet during this. The men stare off, Chavo offers his hand to Helms. Helms looks around but before he can accept, Chavo spits in his face! Chavo quickly rolls from the ring, laughing.

Cole: “Did you see that petty act Coach? Disgusting!”

Coach: “Don’t storm off on me now Cole!”

Cole: “…ha!”

Segment 7

MVP is backstage and enters the GM’s office.

MVP: “I want Hardy and my US title toni…Whoa! Where’s Vickie?”

Teddy: “Well, Vickie’s being eh…attented to by Edge at the current time. Meaning I’m in charge playa’!”

[Vague screaming sounds can be heard from the backroom of the office]

MVP: “Well, I want Hardy tonight for the US Title!”

Teddy: “Unfortunately you have a match against Kane already booked for tonight. But if you win that match, you’ll be granted a US Title rematch at Backlash! Now, holla if you hear me!”

MVP: “Yeah! I hear that!”

Crew Member: “You’re eh, meant to act scared of Kane, Montel.”

MVP: “Ugh…why? Dude loses every match, how scary can that be?”

Crew Member: “…”

Segment 8

The camera follows MVP out of Teddy’s office, and shows Khali walking around the corridors, screaming for Funaki.

Khali: “Fooooo-Naggh-Keeee! Arrggh!”

After about a minute of this, Khali finally finds Funaki and grabs his head in one of his hands. Funaki turns around with microphone in hand. Funaki then hits Khali around the head with the microphone. Khali again falls to the ground, screaming in pain!

Funaki gives the thumbs up to the camera before casually walking off.

Segment 9

Montel Vontavious Porter vs Kane

Kane dominates the early proceedings of the match. He hits a few big right hands, finishing off with his uppercut, putting MVP on the mat. Kane then hits MVP with a big clothesline! Kane follows this up by climbing to the top in an attempt to hit the rolling clothesline. MVP manages to avoid this however and quickly follows it up with a low blow, unseen by the referee. With Kane in position, MVP hits the Playmaker and collects the victory!

Cole: “That’s the second rematch announced for the Backlash card tonight! MVP will get his chance to eh…lash back at Matt Hardy!”

Coach: “Hopefully that junkie doesn’t interfere this time around.”

Cole: “Sabu?”

Coach: “No, that other one.”

Cole: “RVD?”

Coach: “No, no, no!”

Cole: “Batista?

Coach: “No! Forget it!"

Cole: “No, I can get this. Masters? Hogan? Angle?”

Coach: “No! None of those men are even signed to the company anymore!”

Cole: “Benoit?”

Coach: “Who?”

Cole: “Actually, who is right. The name sounds familiar though.”

Coach: “Yeah, just a little…Hrmm, no anyways.”

Cole: “Well, I’m out of ideas.”

Coach: “It was Jeff…”

Cole: “Oh yeah, Jeff! Damn junkie!”

Coach: “We probably shouldn’t keep reminding people that there’s drugs in wrestling, might be bad for business.”

Cole: “I think people might have noticed that some guys are a little too well built without our help Coach!”

Coach: “Hah! I guess!”

Segment 10

Helms bursts into Vickie’s office. Edge is now eating Vickie’s face off on the sofa, with both Edgeheads watching them.

Teddy: “And what can I do for you playa’?”

Helms: “You can tell that asshole Chavo that when I get my hands on him again he’s going to feel the pain I’ve felt for this past year!”

Vickie [stops face-eating]: “Wait! Our Chavo?”

Helms: “Well there aren’t that many Chavo’s running around here are there?”

Edge: “Don’t get smart with her!”

Vickie: “You want Chavo? Well you can have him, if you beat a gauntlet of my choosing next week!”

Teddy: “Now, holla’ if you hear me!”

Helms: “Why are you even still hired?”

Teddy [sadly]: “I wonder that myself sometimes.”

Helms: “Yeah, well you’re eh, on!”

Segment 11

Big Show is walking down a corridor, he bumps into Batista, the big men stare at each other, before nodding. Show then stands outside a locker-room, when he moves aside, Mayweather is written on the door.

Show smiles before entering the room! The camera quickly returns to Cole and Coach.

Cole: “I wonder what the big man has in mind for Mayweather?”

Coach: “I wonder what Henry’ll do without Mayweather?

Cole: “We’ll soon find out as that match is up next!”

Segment 12

Wrestlemania XXIV Rebound

The crowd were very undecided who to cheer for in this bout. Mayweather used his speed to avoid Show at the beginning before unleashing several hard punches to his body. Show, who has been cut wide open above his eye by this stage, finally gets a hold of Mayweather after a few minutes. Show picks him up and throws him out of the ring, scattering his entourage.

It’s now just Show vs Mayweather. Mayweather continues to be dominated until finally he hits a direct blow to Show’s head. Both men are now down.

Some Bodies Gonna Get It hits out over the speakers. Yes, that’s Mark Henry.

Cole: “Oh God! Another run-in? This isn’t TNA you know!”

Henry runs, very slowly, to the ring. He manages to climb into the ring with a table in hand. Then the “World’s Strongest Man” sets the table up before trying to pick Show up. He just about gets Show up, before botching his World’s Strongest Slam through the table. Mayweather who has recovered by this stage pins Show and gets the victory.

Cole: “Oh great. I wonder what this could possibly mean for Show and Henry? Does anybody else get the possible hint that these two could be about to feud. Just fucking great!”

Coach: “Alright Cole. Calm down! We’re still on air!”

Cole: “I’m sick of this rubbish!”

Cole storms off up the ramp and backstage.

Segment 13

Batista vs Mark Henry

Batista botched a few of his moves in this match, whilst Henry managed to botch nearly all of his! Fortunately it was kept short. Henry takes early control, but Batista fights back with a spinebuster out of nowhere!

Henry however kicks out at two! Henry regains control of the match, and at this point…

Big plays out over the sound system! Big Show makes his way out to the stage with Mayweather in gripped around the neck by his hand! Henry takes his attention off Batista and instead watches Show lifting Mayweather up before chokeslamming him off the stage!

Big Show taunts Mark Henry from the stage. Batista has recovered and nails a spear on Henry for the victory!

Medics have rushed to tend to Mayweather who is unconscious!

Segment 14

Hulk Hogan is backstage with Stephanie McMahon.

Hogan: “Can I please have a title shot Steph?”

Steph: “You aren’t even signed to a WWE contract Hogan!”

Hogan: “Alright, gimme one of those then! And make sure I’m the highest paid on the roster!”

Steph: “You do realise you don’t draw anymore Hogan?”

Hogan: “What?... [sad] Yeah I realised that already, I was just hoping someone around here hadn’t!”

Steph: “And that’s the reason, you don’t have a contract anymore!”

Hogan: “One more, highly paid match? I can still get it done in the ring.”

Funaki comes walking by with two packages.

Funaki: “Here is your delivery Mr Hogan. Thank you for using our services again.”

Steph: “What you got there?”

[Hogan rips open the packages to reveal a walking stick and a girdle]

Steph: “Great condition huh?”

Hogan: “Best ever brutha!”

Segment 15

RAW Rebound

Tag Match: Londrick vs Cade and Murdoch

London and Kendrick use their speed to take their early advantage but Cade and Murdoch finally manage to use their strength to take control. They then begin to tag each other in and out at regular intervals.

Suddenly Triple H’s music hits and out comes The Game!

JR: “Gawwwwwd King! It’s HBK! HBK Shawn Stasiak is here!”

King: “No JR! It’s Triple H! Triple H is here! He promised he was going to show just how damn good he is tonight and he must be about to start now!”

Triple H comes down to the ring. London, Kendrick, Cade and Murdoch all look confused as to what Triple H wants with them. Triple H poses in the ring, for a while before telling the 4 competitors to “Suck It!”

Cade runs at Triple H firstly. Triple H kicks him in the stomach and PEDIGREE!

Murdoch runs at Triple H in an attempt to avenge Cade but he suffers the same fate…PEDIGREE!

King: “Yes JR! Triple H is on fire here! He is absolutely cleaning house right now!”

The referee finally calls for the bell and announces Cade and Murdoch the winners via disqualification.

This angers London firstly and he runs at Triple H. A right hand later and here it comes…PEDIGREE!

Kendrick then follows suit and he too receives a kick to the gut and its followed up with a, yes that’s right, PEDIGREE!

King: “What’s this? Oh no! Triple H look out! Here comes the rest of the RAW tag division for some bizarre reason!”

The Highlanders are the first to the ring!

JR: “Wait a second, isn’t one of those guys meant to be injured?”

King: “Yes but he’s here tonight for one night only to face off against Triple H! Unbelievable!”

Triple H nails Rory with the kick to the gut first and follows that up with a huge left hand to Robbie! He then stacks both men on top of each other. DOUBLE PEDIGREE to The Highlanders!

King: “I never get tired of seeing this finisher!”

Holly now runs at Triple H angrily. But what’s this? Kick to the gut…PEDIGREE!

Cody now runs at Triple H, right into his foot. Triple H puts him in place for it, looks around…PEDIGREE!!!

Triple H then gets up and taunts to the crowd who are going nuts!

JR: “This is what the people came to see!”

King: “Fantastic! Triple H has certainly shown here tonight that he will lie down for nobody!”

That was your RAW Rebound!

Cole: “Great to see Triple H at the top of his game on Monday’s RAW!”

Coach: “When is he not Cole? When is he not?”

Segment 16

The Undertaker vs Edgeheads (Handicap 1 vs 2)

Undertaker controls the early part of the match, but eventually the numbers game catches up with him and Hawkins and Ryder take turns on beating down Taker. Hawkins hits Taker with a missile dropkick! Though Undertaker simply sits back up again. Ryder then hits Undertaker with a lifting reverse DDT! Taker again sits up!

Hawkins and Ryder look at each other, unsure what to do. They attempt to pick Undertaker up to hit Long Island Express, however Taker counters out of it. He then nails Hawkins with a big boot! Ryder tries to take him down but is grabbed around the throat and chokeslammed!

Undertaker then grabs Hawkins and begins to place him for the Tombstone, but suddenly out of nowhere in the corner of the ring is Edge! Taker has Hawkins up in place for the Tombstone, but Edge spears Undertaker!

The referee has to call for the bell, meaning Undertaker wins by disqualification! Hawkins and Edge begin to pick away at Undertaker! A recovered Ryder brings two chairs into the ring, handing one to Edge! Con-Chair-To to Undertaker!

Hawkins by this time has picked up Taker’s belt and handed it to Edge. All three men stand over the now bloodied body of Undertaker, with Edge holding the belt in his hands as the show goes off the air!

Quick Results

Match 1
Shannon Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang defeated Deuce N Domino by pinfall.
Tag Team

Match 2: Gregory Helms Returning To Action!
Gregory Helms defeated Chavo Guerrero by pinfall.
Ladder

Match 3
Montel Vontavious Porter defeated Kane by pinfall.
Singles

Match 4
Batista defeated Mark Henry by pinfall.
Singles

Main Event
The Undertaker defeated Edgeheads by disqualification.
Handicap