Quote:
Originally Posted by Shock  AAW Champion RVD makes his way down the ramp and enters the ring. |
Thats not a good way to start. A new companies first show & the champion has been awarded the belt before the show even started?
Quote:
AAW World Championship Match
Jimmy DeMarco vs. RVD (C) |
Quote:
JS: RVD wins a classic to retain his title.
Teddy: Jimmy gave it his all, but RVD is standing tall!
RVD holds the belt in the air and makes his way out of the ring and up the ramp.
|
No no no no. Firstly, it was really bad placement to open with a world title match. After the promo it should have been announced as the main event. Secondly, the match was way too short for the style you are using of writing the entire match. Have the paragraphs pick up from different parts of the match to make them longer.
Quote:
*Camera Shows Gregory Iron*
Iron: Hello I'm here to tell you what your expectations for Gregory Iron will be.
Fans are still.
Iron: I am AAW's future even though I am a cripple.
Iron lifts his cripple hand up.
Iron: My heart out ways my disorder.
Fans cheer a little.
Iron: Tonight! When I take on Josh Prohibition, I will not promise a win, but I promise you I'll give it my all!
Fans cheer.
Iron leaves past camera veiw.
*Camera Cut to the Ring*
JS: Well Gregory Iron set or action against Tag team and singles specailist Josh Prohibition! |
That promo was incredibley poor taste. Useing a disability to get over is not a good thing. You cant also be a specalist in singles & tag team. Its one or the other not both. Quote:
Josh Prohibition w/ Johnny Gargano makes his way down the ramp and enters the ring.
Teddy: And Here they come.
Gregory Iron maeks his way to the ring and Gargano leaves the ring to start this match off.
Match #2
Gregory Iron vs. Josh Prohibition w/ Johnny Gargano
Teddy: Aw Iron almost pulled the biggest upset in wrestling history.
JS: Yeah, but to no prevail, cause of Gargano.
Josh and Johnny leave waving their hands in victory. Iron stands up to a large reaction of the crowd chanting "Iron Iron Iron Iron"
Teddy: Respect showned for this warrior's heart. |
Same problem as your first match with not enough detail to be a full match. Biggest upset in wrestling history is a massive overstatement. Biggest upset in AAW would have been fine. Quote:
Jason Bane makes his way to the ring.
Cronus makes his way down the ramp and enters the ring slowly.
Teddy: Battle of the giants!
Main Event
Battle of the Giants
Chris Cronus vs. Jason Bane
Teddy: Cronus wins!!
JS: Cronus looks to be a future champion of AAW.
Screen fades with Cronus standing over Bane with his arms raised in victory. |
To hype it as battle of the giants but then not play up the giant factor during the match made it suffer.
My Ratings:
Match Making: 5/10. You know what you want, but you dont seem to know how to wait it off & build it up.
Match Writing: 7/10. Too short for your style.
Promos: 2/10. The promos themselves were written ok, but the content was poor.
Spelling/Grammer: 6/10. Nothing criminal. But a few close calls.
Flow: 5/10. Not a whole lot of seperation here. The commercial breaks would have been better suited in the middle of matchs as a way to make them longer.
Overall: 50%. Not a bad start & i can see this improving. I like your roster & if you can build the storylines better then it will go somewhere. Good work.