 Interracial Couples
Now I know this maybe a touchy subject for some of you but it is one that is close to my heart and it’s one I’d like to discuss for a bit. If you can’t talk about it in a mature manner I ask you to hold your comments as it’s not what I am looking for.
How do you all feel about marrying someone from a different race?
I grew up in a large Southern based family who moved to California before I was born. Needless to say their conceptions of race and different cultures are not sentiments that I share. I consider my father and his parents to be very “old school” and close minded in terms of their thinking and dealing with possibilities.
Imagine my nervousness when first announcing to them that I was dating someone who was Filipino; much less that a good two years later that I was marrying her. I found the comments to range from shock to mild confusion. There were the usual comments on why didn’t a date a nice girl from where we live, etc.
My view is that you can’t change who you fall in love with. We are all individuals and we all have a set of values or attributes that attract us to someone of the opposite sex. My mother raised me to be “color blind” and I have never considered someone’s race to be a factor on whether I am attracted to them or not.
Granted there were cultural differences between me and my wife that took some getting used to. The Asian culture is very respectful and concerned with family above all else. Filipinos especially are very dependant on their families even through marriage and myself being an independent person, I had to understand that and come to accept that there will be times that my wife needs to speak to her mother about life’s situations. The key’s to a successful relationship with anyone of any cultures is always the same….learn compromise and learn that you will not change the other person no matter how hard you try.
Also I had to learn that when visiting their country I would be viewed as different. They consider a lot of Americans to be of a different mindset than them and not as concerned with their core set of values. This has changed a lot for me though having our children and being more accepted amongst the general family as family and nothing less.
So rambling aside, my question to all of you is do you have limitations in dating people? Do you look at color as one of the aspects in attractiveness or does that not factor into things? Also do you look down upon someone such as me who has entered into one of those relationships? I will tell you that I have heard comments from people that my daughters are two of the most beautiful kids they’ve seen so the old saying that mixed heritage causes weird looking children is wrong and misinformed.
We are all adults here and I am sure we can talk about this without judgment over someone else’s’ opinion.
Please discuss… |