| DD's Raw review for July 31st HBK vs. Umaga
DD’s Raw reviews for July 31st 2006.
As usual I will review the show as I watch it.
Tonight’s main event is announced as Umaga vs. HBK. We are also going to see the debut of a new reality show “Orton Knows Bestâ€
Money money money. Uncle ShanoMac hits the ring. Ooooh, I spoke to soon. Vince also comes to the ring. I personally think ShanoMac could be follow suit to Vince in running the company no problem. Not to mention HHH and Steph to help out as well. Those three could be an interesting group in 20 years.
Vince congratulates himself and his baby girl Steph. He says his new granddaughter is already more rich then everyone there combined. D-X 1-second byte cuts in the middle of the sentence.
He says Shane and Vince will team up against D-X .at Summerslam. Another 3-5 second sound byte of D-X then it goes away. “Typical Mind games by DX†says Shano. Now the green lights come in with a couple “Are you ready?†Vince starts to talk again, and then D-X comes out finally. Nice pop for the two.
HBK and HHH stay at the top of the ramp and congratulate Vince. They say “Moseltov†Looks like the cat is coming out of the bag about “Whooooo’s yo daddy?†Hey, that should be Uuuuumaga’s new catchphrase.
HBK says it was his understanding that HHH was also at the hospital last week. Vince and Shane shrug and disagree with that statement. HBK also says its his understanding that HHH is now in the possession of the McMahon family scrapbook.
Oh it’s true, HHH says he has photos of them. Here is the first picture of Vince. (the Titantron shows Vinces face looking angry on a baby’s body. The bib says “I love cocksâ€
HBK “Now that’s an ugly babyâ€
They show a similar pic of Shano but this time he has a silver spoon in his mouth.
They say the should show a picture of Stephs kid. It’s a baby pic of HHH in DX garb. So that’s how the cat came out? Ok…. Maybe its not supposed to be official or something.
They have a battle over whose music should be hit. (even though it seemed like a production glitch) Finally D-X’s music and pyro go off.
I really think they should have done something better with HHH being the dad. That could have been a much bigger deal.
Triple Threat Match for the Intercontinental Title.
Carlito vs. Shelton vs. Nitro.
How many times are these 3 guys going to go at it? I like how basically everyone is cheating to win in these last few matches.
Ooooooh. As Nitro is about to enter the ring under Melinas leg, Carlito pokes Shelton in the eye and dropkicks Nitro right on top of his head between Melinas legs. Ouch.
When we come back from commercial Shelton has the advantage on Nitro with Carlito out of the action. It shows during the break Carlito took a super kick out of the ring by Shelton.
Now all men in the ring, the heels team up on Carlito.
In a move you really needed to see to fully understand. Carlito sunset flipped Shelton out of the corner who landed on his feet who ran to the other corner to do the same move to Nitro. Nitro flips what looks like a 520 and bounces off the mat in agony. Crowd gives out a big “Ooooooooâ€
Melina gets the distraction and takes Shelton out of his game when Nitro clotheslines Carlito from behind. Carlito crashes into Shelton and Nitro gets the reverse schoolboy on Shelton for the win.
Once again they focus Melina and Lita making their men win with their assistance. Classic and great female valet booking.
Winner: Johnny Nitro.
I am skipping these Divas segments as I really don’t give a damn.
Orton is in the ring when we come back from commercial.
He says at Summerslam, he will take the legend of Hulkamania and kill it once and for all. Once he kills Hulkamania he sees his career taking off. Movies, books, and now his own reality show. “Orton knows bestâ€
Out come people that look like the Hogan’s to Hogan’s music. Then the Hogan wannabe comes out and surprisingly it’s not a midget. Good, that gimmick is so spent. This imposter somewhat resembles him (he looks like a fan who thinks he looks like Hogan basically)
He then interviews the Hogan wannabes. He asks fake Nick what he wants to be when he grows up. Fake Nick says he wants to be a wrestler like his dad BROTHA. Orton says get used to this then, and kicks him in the stomach and tosses him out of the ring.
He says nice things about fake Brooke, then fake Hogan says Orton stepped over the line DUDE. He then says he already warned Orton etc etc. Orton takes the mic back and says at Summerslam Hogan can kiss his career goodbye. He then says he has his own kiss in mind.
He then makes out with fake Brooke. He then RKO’s fake Hogan. Fake Brooke pretends to have fallen for Randy. Oh Vey.
Red Hat Guy has a “Ratings Killer†sign. Haha. I don’t think so buddy.
JR and King are making small talk about Summerslam when Randy is leaning on there announce table admiring fake Brooke. He then turns around and dope slaps the King for no reason really. I got to say I liked that. Every wrestler should do that to the King just for good measure.
Shane and Vince backstage when Estrada comes in to congratulate them. He offers them 3 boxes of cigars. They are in the car. He will go get them. If something doesn’t happen to Estrada before he comes back this will be an odd segment. Perhaps D-X will make them like poop cigars or something.
Oh boy. Jerry’s hometown next week, Memphis Tennessee. He challenges Orton to a match next week. Great. Kidman and the Dudley’s are good enough for Monday Night Raw, but Jerry can wrestle from time to time. I really don’t like him at all, but you probably already realized that.
My sweet little princess Torrie Wilson hits the ring in referee gear. I really have been pretty impressed with Torrie's in ring skills lately. She isn’t Trish or Mickie James in there, but she has shown a lot of improvement.
Candice/Trish vs. Mickie/Victoria.
Can someone remind me again why and how Candice became face?
Candice and Victoria start it off with Candice getting some arm bar hold and hip tosses. Then as I was wishing it, Victoria boots Candice in the head. Victoria tags in Mickie.
Beth Phoenix smashes through the middle of the ring and devours all the women in the ring. As she is leaving the ring, Beth trips on the bottom rope, lands on her face. She will be out for 5-9 weeks.
Ok, so none of that actually happened, just seeing if you are paying as much attention as I am right now, which is basically none.
Trish then wakes me from my slumber with a sweet power bomb off the top rope on Mickie but only gets the two count. That really should have done it. Mickie then botches the Stratusfaction.
Mick Foley, Nitro and Melina are backstage. Mick asks if Melina can introduce him since he hasn’t been on Raw in 6 weeks. She agrees and Nitro says “Keep it sexy†to his smile as they fade to commercial. Are they teasing a possible Melina leaving Nitro for Mick? That would be weird.
Mick says he will finally give the fans what they want. Right here in New Jersey they will get in the ring.
He says there are similarities between himself and Ric. Ric took the young wrestlers like Randy Orton under his wing. Mick of course took Melina.
He says Ric knows George Bush, he knows a porn star.
They both make news too. He is on Larry King and the Today Show, while Ric makes CNN for his road rage incident.
Ric’s music hits.
Ric says Mick needs to keep his mouth shut. I don’t know Ric comes off a little weird in this feud. Ric actually admits that he has hung on to many years, but what about Mick. (that was quite the statement). Is this the real Cactus Jack? He says that he and Mick are long overdue.
He then says Mick is lazier than A-Rod. Whhhahahahattt? That was another weird statement. I wasn’t aware Alex Rodriguez was lazy.
Ric goes onto say that the legends like Harley Race and Terry Funk think Mick is imaginary now. He says he Mick can be whomever he wants. Mankind, Cactus. Whatever he wants. He will stick socko up his ass.
Foley is acting like a abused puppy cowering in the corner.
Ric calls out Micks family. He says he always talks about his family, give me a break. Why is he hanging out with Melina. 15 years ago he would take her on a ride. (another weird statement. So he can’t do it anymore? Haha)
They go into family stuff that seems a little out there. Mick calls Ric an absentee father. He says he will never have the bonding experience to be able to he was arrested. Ric pops him in the face. Foley retreats.
The Coaches music hits.
He announces Foley vs. Flair at Summerslam.
Mick says that Vince should have read over his contract as he can wrestle whenever HE wants, not when Vince wants him to wrestle. Yeah, this match will still happen at Summerslam.
John Cena vs. Matt Striker.
Striker is moving up the depth chart. Although he will most likely get his ass whooped here. Unless Edge interrupts before anything substantial really happens.
Why do they always say this guy is controversial? What exactly is he doing that is so controversial? Anyone? I think he gets a bad rap by a lot of Internet nerds but he controversial he isn’t.
Ahh, here he is. Edge and Lita hit the ring. The Raided R-Announce table is shown next to the ramp. Edge and Lita sit down and can be heard over King and JR. Edge says Lita is the Doctor of Juganomics. Haha.
Edge and Lita keep talking about how they will embarrass Cena in front of his home crowd. The WWE could be in for a surprise as I have a feeling the Edge fans will be heard loud and clear. There will be plenty of screaming 10 year olds though cheering for Cena so it could be a tough sell for Edge. Either way, Cena is going to win even though Edge should seriously get a nice run.
Back from the break the Spirit squad are in the ring and are ready to do a cheer.
Rory McAllister vs. Johnny
Man, that would kind of stink being just “Johnny†as your name. It is nice to finally see the tag belts being used. What’s that? They’re not again? Oh well. Maybe next year.
The remaining members of SS are barred from ringside when Johnny uses the megaphone on Rory.
Rory picks up the win. I kind of lost track of this match. Sorry. It just wasn’t interesting.
The put over the Diva Search. The weird looking one is let go. I think her name was Rebecca.
The put over next years Mania. Why is Detroit getting so many cool things lately. Don’t they realize that it’s a shithole?
Agent Grady and O’Brien into D-X’s locker-room. They say they have a warrant to search HHH’s stuff. They find the Cubans and say he has to come downtown. (Looks like the new daddy is getting some time off)
I commend the WWE for not using the standard Indy wrestlers. It’s nice they give them some camera time, but it looks so fake.
More Diva Search crap.
Main Event.
HBK vs. Umaga w/Estrada
Umaga sure is impressive. Its cool seeing him as a top heel. I honestly can’t believe I am saying that knowing that he used to be Jamal. I will say that every week. I just can’t get over it.
Umaga and HBK trade back and forth a bit to start off the match.
Vince and Shano join Estrada ringside.
Umaga is really working over HBK pretty good and constantly looks to Estrada for instruction. Umaga goes for a running squash on HBK in the corner but misses. HBK and Umaga exchange chops. Both men fall down. HBK bounces up but gets caught up by Estrada. Estrada gets knocked off the ropes accidentally by Estrada. When Umaga realizes that Estrada is down he goes berserk throwing shit. He seems very disorientated. Vince signals for the Samoan Spike, Umaga misses (as Estrada didn’t issue it) Low blow by HBK. Vince stops HBK from Sweet Chin Music. HBK then takes out Vince. Shane runs in and is taken out by HBK but it hit with a clothesline by Umaga and picks up the pin on HBK.
Got to give it to HBK for putting over Umaga like that, even if it did take 4 people to take him down.
Solid main event.
Post match. Vince and Shane enter the ring and beat up on HBK some. They begin to choke out HBK with Vinces belt. Shane grabs a chair. They put the chair over HBK’s face and Shane applies Sweet Chin Music to the chair and HBK’s face.
Vince tells HBK that next week HHH takes on Umaga.
Solid Raw.
Thanks for reading.
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