| When I got my new phone, in the first month I recieved about 5-6 calls for someone else.
The last time it happened, I traced the number interstate, and jumped on the first plane. It didn't take me long to find the house of the perpetrator, and a quick taxi ride later I was there. After knocking on the front door, some stupid old grandma answered, and gasped once she glanced at my rippling, shiny muscles.
"Are you the one who was looking for Matthew?" I asked her. She was still gaping in awe of my beautiful physique, but managed to nod her head. I kicked the old bag right in the crotch, and then smashed her over the head with her walker.
I then went into her house and found her phone, which wasn't even cordless. Stupid old bitch can't even get with the times. I ripped the phone out of the socket, and went back to the hallway where Granny lay moaning. I knocked her around the head a few times with the phone, and then picked up her now bleeding cranium.
"Look bitch, Matthew doesn't have this number anymore, and if he wants it back, you tell him to come and get it!"
I left her house around this point, after going through her fridge for a feed. Bitch didn't even have any cake, so I went down to the cake shop to get something good. I recognized the girl behind the counter, as she happened to have recently been featured in an FHM. Not that I read that faggot magazine, but I saw an ad.
She told me if I fucked her I could have the cake for free. I didn't plan on paying anyway, but all this ass kicking fury had made me horny as well as hungry. I thrashed her for about an hour while I ate my cake, then left back for home.
No one has rang me up looking for Matthew since. |