Drunksader

So. RAW.

I watched it. And by that I mean the whole damn thing. Cover to cover. 2 hours and change. The Full Monty. And, and I just don't know what to say. Like, at all. But let's try to dissect possibly one of the worst RAWs of all time.

Opening: Um, how awkward was that? You've got Evolution talking about how they've got all the gold ... which is fine. But because they have the gold, they make all the rules? Er, ok, at this point I expected to see Bischoff come out an annoit them. But he didn't. What happened instead? The show ... started. Yeah. That sucked.

First Match: Battle of the Sexes II. No buildup whatsoever outside of Sunday night's match. Action was lame. Then Jericho breaks up the match AFTER Christian hits his finisher on Trish. What the? But then, the guys who call the shots on RAW, Evolution, came down the ramp to order a new match for Y2J. No, wait. That was Bischoff. But I thought Evolution was making the rules?

Foley. Comes out, looks in great shape, but I knew from the moment he started speaking and repeating himself that we were in for a night of drizzling sh*t. Then, it happened. Bischoff offers Foley a match. I started yelling at the TV, and from the reaction of the crowd, no one wanted him to wrestle. But Vince would push on, putting him in the ring against Orton ... for the IC Belt? I mean, who the f*ck through this crap together?

The rest of the show was forgettable. Jericho gets legitimately squashed by Kane, whose put into the match with him because he is "angry." Goldberg gets suspended for laying out La Resistance ... which he did because ... he's ... mad ... too? I have no idea.

But let's get to the gravy. RVD and HBK v. Evolution (sans Randy). This, by all accounts, should be a good match, with the faces fighting valiantly before falling to Evo. RVD comes out strong, (and ... holy sh*t ... Ida ... you weren't watching as my boy WORKED OVER HHH's arm, were you? What the? An RVD who shows some sort of depth in the ring???) gets isolated. HBK comes back in, makes the save. So far, so good. HBK v. Flair, nice.

Then HHH walked into the ring against HBK, and the world went to sh*t. Maybe it was because the ring was over-mic'd, and by stamping his foot with each punch gave his offense a reverberation effect, but outside of that, [b:post_uid0]how the hell did HBK flatten HHH ... with [i:post_uid0]EACH[/i:post_uid0] punch??[/b:post_uid0] How more pathetic can you get than having your World Champion flop around like he's Bluto after Popeye OD'd on the green stuff? I couldn't believe it.

But then sanity kicked in. Surely, I thought, HBK is getting in some emotional offense before being overwhelmed. And sure enough, RVD dives to the outside to take out Batista and Flair. The stage is set. HBK is tuning up the band, when Batista powerbombs the hell out of him. Referee shenanigans ensue, but HBK kicks out. Ok, so this will be two nights in a row that Batista, a guy getting pushed hard, can't put away a feisty, but still OLD, HBK? At that point you knew what was going to happen. Pedigree ... backdrop ... SCM ... miss! Counter! HHH spins around, eats another SCM, HBK wins. I'm still trying to figure it out. How the hell does HBK pretty much single-handedly beat Evolution, the guys who "hold all the gold" and "make all the rules"? HBK looked like Jesus was helping him in there, and the match sucked because of it. Everything was rushed - the cameras didn't even see HBK nip up twice in a row - and the result was crap. According to last night's match, HBK should be contending for the World Boxing Championship, because his hands are made of titanium.

Finally, the Foley incident. He has a rousing speech with HBK. He's walking through the hallway, the roster cheering him on. He's making matches for HBK and the Dudleyz. He gets into the ring ... then leaves. The arena. Orton spits in his face. He still leaves. The show ends 10 minutes early. And I have officially been robbed of 120 minutes of my life. Foley's tainted his entire legacy, and when he limps back into the ring for the match that you know is coming, regardless of the outcome, he's ruined his character.

Worst. RAW. Ever. And I've seen some bad ones.