Monday Night Sparkle
Sparkles Opening Video Plays along with a recap of everything that has gone over this past year. This is the first show of Sparkle since Vince McMahons death from Roid Rage, since Linda became a Nun, since Shane jobbed to Shark Boy, since Triple H ditched Steph, since Candice Michelle fell out a 7 story high window, and since Roxy just happened to run over Vince Russo to gain power.
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*A familar theme tune starts to play and out comes the General Manager of SPARKLE CM Punk. He walks up to the ring, pulls back the rope, and grabs a mic*
Punk: Well, this is the first show of SPARKLE since everything that happened, I want to thank everyone for their support. Anyway, we do have a special guest tonight. She's blonde, she's Canadian, has held multiple titles, and no it's not the Rated R superstar with a sex change, it's the one and only TRISH STRATUS!'
*Trishs music starts to play and she starts to walk down the ring.*
Trish: Whats up Maryland!?
Punk: Trish, we're in New York.......
Raisha Saeed (on commentary): ownt.
Punk: Erm, okay, so it's been one of hell of a year. And i'd like to dedicate this show to it's former owner, Candice Michelle, who just recently died of Aids
Trish: Punk, she didn't die of aids, she just had aids.
Punk: But she's still dead right?
Trish: Yeh
Punk: Good. So i was half right.
Trish: Maybe but she tripped over a Camera and fell out a window
Punk: Didn't see injure herself that way a while back too?
Trish: Yeah, she fell
Punk: Oh, well at least she's consistant
Trish: Why am I here again?
Punk: Oh yeah, tonight Trish Stratus will be the guest referee in the fatal four way!
Trish: I was told i'd be getting another title
Punk: You've already had Seven
Trish: So?
Punk: You've still got your record, your blonde hair, and your impla...never mind.
Trish: Fine, well I just want to say good luck to SPARKLE, and wish all you females here the best!
Punk: Thanks for coming Trish, and just so you know, we took all those 'Trish is overrated', 'Mickie > Trish', 'Trish is really a guy' signs off the fans!
Trish: Damn IWC
Punk: I know right, i'd love to see them book a show like this
Trish: Or cheer for a face
Punk: Why do you think i turned heel a while back?
Trish: Because you didn't get over when you where a good guy?
Punk: No, because i'm straight-edge and i'm better than you!
Raisha Saeed (on commentary): ownt.
Punk: Alright, so our competitors for the Fatal Four Way are as follows; Natalya, Awesome Kong, Angelina Love, and the beautiful, Mickie James
Trish: Strange, Fat, Looks like a Dude, Stalker
Punk: Describing yourself?
Raisha Saeed (on commentary): ownt.
Punk: Alright, so i've got some work to do. So Trish, have fun around here, and feel free to do anything you like
Trish: Like what?
Punk: I dunno, get another boob job?
Trish: But i've got a match to ref
Punk: You're right, you're not competing, so you wont need one to put yourself over
Trish: ........
Punk: Enjoy the night everyone
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*Michelle McCools entrance music hits*
Tiffany: The following match is scheduled for one fall and making her way to the ring, from Florida, Michelle McCool!
Raisha Saeed: Dear Lord
Torrie: Are you praying??
Raisha Saeed: No I just hate this music
Torrie: But it was my old music
Raisha Saeed: Exactly
*Christy Hemmes music plays*
Tiffany: And her opponent, from Santa Monica, Calafornia, Christy Hemme!
Torrie: KICK HER ASS MICHELLE!
Raisha Saeed: What the hell?
Torrie: RIP HER WIG OFF!
Raisha Saeed: She isn't wearing a wig
Torrie: She will have to once Michelle has finished with her!
Raisha Saeed: But they're not even in the ring yet
Torrie: Oh
*Michelle and Christy lock eyes. Torrie Wilson can be heard from the annouce table shouting random abuse at Hemme*
Torrie: When's the last time you saw your dad huh Christy?! The gay Bar?!
Raisha Saeed: Jesus christ, shut the hell up before I slit the tires on your home
*Michelle and Christy went for some Mat wrestling throughout the match. Christy ducked and hit a German Suplex. Christy then hit the Spinning Facebuster on Michelle. She went for a pin but Michelle just kicked out. Christy went up to the second rope, and waited for Michelle to get up. Christy jumped for the Cross Body but was caught by Michelle. Michelle has Christy in the move and hits the Faith Breaker*
Tiffany: And here is your winner, Michelle McCool!
Torrie: So when is the match gonna start
Raisha Saeed: ............................
*Michelle McCool walks over to the annouce tables and grabs herself a Mic*
Michelle: Yo whats up, me and my homies backstage want you to now refer to me as MC-COOL. And Christina, I want you to stop jocking my style! You think you can make music dawg? Well check this out; Yo Yo Yo, all you Sucka Divas aint got nothing on me, I'm MC-COOL a record holder can't ya see? Haps in the hood? You dont look no good! I'm gonna rip this muel because check it out, i'm MC-COOL!
Torrie: Tupac is alive!!
Christy: So will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
*Torrie tries to stand up but Raisha grabs her back down*
Raisha Saeed: Well it looks like we got a bit of musical competition these two. They both suck at singing so lets just hope they keep it inside the squared circle or at least off iTunes.
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*Beth Phoenixs music hits*
*Earlier, Beth attemped to hit on CM Punk, but seeing as he's straight-edge, he wasn't interested in her because she was Blonde - at least that was his excuse. Beth spent the evening sobbing, crying and wondering if it was her football shaped chest that made her so unattractive to Punk. Beth decided to give up on men all together, they had screwed her over (literally) too many times. She was sick of taking the pill when she was dating guys, she was sick of having to make an effort with her appearence, and decided change was for the better*
Beth: Well, I have finally discovered who I really am. I couldn't be happier knowing that I really do just want some female company. I have found out things about myself which have made my stomach tingle and I know I will get alot of homophobic comments but its only because i'll do better with the women than every other guy out there. Please accept me for who I am, if not, I will brag about all the women I pull, because someone has to do the the job you guys can't.
*Kelly Kellys music hits*
Tiffany: The following Tag Match is scheduled for one fall and making her way to the ring, from Florida, Kelly Kelly!
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Raisha Saeed: So it looks like both Kelly and Beth are teaming up together
Torrie: Oh dear
Raisha Saeed: What??
Torrie: What if Beth tries to hit on Kelly!
Raisha Saeed: We all know Beth can do better
*Maryses music hits and out comes her and Daffney*
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*Beth Starts off in this match with a simply headlock onto Daffney, Daffney tries her best to get free, mainly because she is worried about where Beths hands will go. She breaks free and Tags in Maryse, who flicks her hair, whilst doing so Beth says to herself 'Mhhmmm'. Maryse takes down Beth, and Beth reaches for Kelly and tags her in. The crowd starts to boo, and Maryse and Kelly lock up, Maryse uses the spinning back breaker and pushes Kelly down to the mat. Kelly gets up but Maryse hits the French KO and Kelly falls flat on her face. Maryse goes for the pin but Beth runs in and breaks the pin by grabbing Kellys legs. Daffney runs in and jumps onto Beth (who seemed like she enjoyed it), and pushes her out the ring into the barrier. Kelly stands up and fails at attempting a flip, nothing new there, and Maryse puts Kelly into the DDT and executes. She goes for the pin*
Tifanny: And here are your winners, Daffney and Maryse!
Torrie: They won!!
Raisha Saeed: They make a great team, even I cant deny that.
*Maryse and Daffney start celebrating their first win on sparkle by dancing around the ring to Rancid. Maryse gives Daffney an odd look though, Daffney catches on and eyes Maryse back. Both now seem rather suspicious of each other. Anyway, Kelly hurt herself during the match (no surprise there), and she gets taken to the medical room*
*Afterwards, Beth calls in to see Kelly who is getting her face checked by the Doctor. Beth runs her hand down Kellys cheek*
Beth: Hope your pretty face is okay, wouldn't want it to get damaged now, would we?
*Beth Leaves*
Kelly: I knew she was too butch to be into Santino
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*The Camera switches backstage where Rosa is interviewing The General Manager, CM Punk*
Rosa: Me and the other girls where wondering, what else do you have planned for WEW?
Punk: Well, I actually have plans to introduce another title for the other Women here. It's the WEW Juniors title, and we'll be having a Battle Royal to crown the winner next week-
*Just as CM Punk is talking a group of USA Officials coming storming in*
Official One: Excuse me, we're looking for Gail Kim
Punk: She should be around here somewhere, she's probably making some rice
Official One: We have reason to believe she's living in the US under false protences
Punk: Why, because she's Asian?
Official One: You would be correct
*Gail Kim appears*
Official One: GET HER!!
*Gail tries to run away and attempts some Kung Fu on the officials*
Punk: Everybody loves Kung Fu Fighting..du du du du du du du du
*The officials grab Gail and put her into a box which says 'To be Deported'*
Official Two: She'll be back in China within no time
Gail Kim: But i'm from Canada!!
Official Two: That's even worse!
Punk: I always knew she was a commy
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*Taylor Wilde is backstage, and she's talking to Alex Shelley when Katie Lea comes over*
Taylor: So Alex, do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I just walk by again?
Alex Shelley: You'll need to walk past again, only next time, don't stop and talk to me, exit is on the left and at the end of the hall
*Alex Shelley leaves*
Taylor: Katie look what you did, you scared him away
Katie Lea: Me? I did nothing
Taylor: Is that so?
Katie Lea: Considering you where border-line stalking him there, i'd say yes.
Taylor: Stalking?
Taylor: Exactly. You scared the man off. Next time you want to stalk someone, make sure they're suicidal. So when they throw themselves off a brdige, you follow them
Tiffany: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
*Taylor Wilde comes out*
Tiffany: And from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, Taylor Wilde!
*Taylor gets on the mic*
Taylor: Alex baby, this one is for you!
*Katie Lea comes out*
Taylor:What? What are you doing here?
Katie: Well, Alex needs someone good to look at when this match is on
Taylor: Whatever Katie, you shouldn't be here, you should be out learning from your parents mistakes - try using some Birth Control
Raisha Saeed (on commentary): ownt
*Eve comes out*
*Taylor wastes no time and starts to kick Eve into the gut. She takes her and rams her shoulder first into the ring post. Eve comes back hard with some punches, but Taylor sweeps her off her feet lands a running Senton onto her gut. She goes for the cover but Eve kicks out. From behind, Taylor applies a tight headlock, wrenching away on the neck. Eve breaks out and surprises Taylor with a hurrcarana, she goes for a clothesline, but Taylor ducks and hits the Bridging Northern Lights Suplex*
Tiffany: And here is your winner, Taylor Wilde!
Torrie: Well this just shows that blondes have more fun
Raisha Saeed: Torrie, you know when you slam a hammer into a retards face, and he just looks at you with that goofy retard smile because he's too stupid to realize you just hit him with a hammer? Well you just did that exact thing
*Taylor grabs a mic*
Taylor: I hope that was good enough Alex
*Alex Shelley comes out*
Alex: Listen Taylor, I made it clear earlier that I wasn't interested, and I don't want to be bought up again because to be quite honest, i'd rather roll around in a bed of razor blades with Magic Johnson than talk to you
Katie Lea: Hahahahahhahahahahaha BURN
*Taylor looking pretty pissed off, goes and tackles Katie*
Torrie: Fight, fight, fight!
Raisha Saeed: Two girls fighting over a guy that isn't interested in either one of them? Sounds like something Vince McMahon would do
Torrie: Come on, you know Vince liked two girls fighting over another girl
Raisha Saeed: You would know
*Katie and Taylor get dragged out the arena by security*
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*Velvet Skys music starts to play and she comes out to the ring*
Velvet: Okay, okay, i'll admit it, I got a little be carried away earlier - I reported Gail to Immigration...woops
Torrie (to Raisha Saeed): And she missed YOU out?
Velvet: But it's not my fault, she kind of asked for it when she called herself the 'Asian Sensation' so anyway, like i've got some super good news for you all! I've decided to make an exclusive club in memory of our beautiful owner - think before sugery people! It's called the cWo - Candice World Order - awesome right? Totally! But like I said, this is in memory of Candice, because before she got all that surgery, she was a lovely girl who just happened to star in porn movies, get aids and fall out a window - the camera wire just came out of no-where. I guess you could say she didn't know what tripped her!
*Melina comes out*
Raisha Saeed: Great, another pyscho
Torrie: She looks like a Horse, it's gross
Raisha Saeed: Not a fan of Horses?
Torrie: I love Horses, just not ones that ugly
Melina: Velvet, making fun of a dead girl, can you sink any lower?
Velvet: Hey! I'm not making fun of anybody here so whatever, your ridiculous opinion has been noted but i'm not even in first gear yet you hippy
Melina: Velvet, I didn't have a problem with you up until now, but I guess the more attractive wrestler has to speak up, huh?
Velvet: You? More attractive? Melina, if I were as ugly as you, I wouldn't say hello to folk, i'd just say boo because faces like yours where the reason paper bags and doggy style positions where invented
*Velvet drops the mic and walks off*
*Melina from behind runs at Velvet and delivers a bulldog*
Raisha Saeed: I guess Melina wanted to show Velvet the real kind of doggy style!
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Raisha Saeed: And now it's time for our Main Event; Mickie James vs Natalya vs Angelina Love vs Awesome Kong - this should be interesting
Tifanny: The following Fatal Four Way is scheduled for one fall!
*Mickie James comes out to a standing ovation*
Tiffany: And from Richmond, Virginia, Mickie James!
*Awesome Kongs music hits and she walks out*
Torrie: Gross! What is that?!
Tiffany: And from Tokyo, Japan, Awesome Kong!
Raisha Saeed: Ten Dollars that she eats the competitors
*Angelina love comes out*
Tiffany: And from Toronto, Ontario, Canada Angelina Love!
Raisha Saeed: Poor girl doesn't stand a chance
Tiffany: And from Alberta, Canada, Natalya!
Torrie: Oh my God! It's Bret Hart!
Tiffany: And finally, making her return as the ref in this match, Trish Stratus!!
*Trish comes out to a huge set of cheers, though some where chanting 'you screwed Bret'. In recent reports Trish denied ever having sexual relations with Bret, saying how just because they where both labelled as overrated, doesn't mean they ever 'screwed' each other, however Bret kept moaning about something these past ten years and it's safe to assume it was probably about Trish's performance in bed*
*Trish signals for the bell to ring*
*Awesome Kong and Natalya lock up to begin the match, with Kong putting Nattie in a wristlock. Whilst Mickie puts Angelina in a tight inverted headlock, wrenching back on the neck, but Angelina gives Mickie a drop toe hold. Whilst on the ground, Kong stretches Nattie with an abdominal stretch variation, grinding her elbow into the ribcage. Meanwhile, Mickie gets Angelina into a small package, Trish comes over and counts; 1...kickout. Angelina locks in a front facelook but Mickie escapes right into a hammerlock transitioning right into a sidelock.*
Torrie: This is boring
Raisha Saeed: It's basic wrestling, it wears you down, something you wouldn't know much about
*Kong takes Nattie down with a headlock takedown, gripping tightly. Nattie grabs one of the legs and rolls out of the hold, immediately going for her Sharpshooter. She locks Kong in! Angelina and Mickie run over and break it up incase Kong taps out. Mickie pushes Nattie out the way and goes for a running dropkick but Nattie dodges and rams Mickie into the corner and starts chopping her away at the chest.*
Torrie: Woooooooooooooooooooooooo!!
*Mickie pushes her away, and climbs the top rope, Mickie gives the fans her standing appreciation before she dives off the rope to deliver a cross body. Now sensing victory, Mickie is more energetic than ever, getting the fans behind her. Meanwhile Kong lands a quick snap suplex on Angelina and goes for the cover, Trish comes over; 1, 2...kickout! Now locked in a grounded Hammerlock, Angelina gets to her feet and lands a double leg takedown and places Kong on her stomach. She tries to go for the double chickenwing but can't seem to keep it on so instead she rolls Kong into the cover but Trish is busy trying to calm Natalya and Mickie down, so Angelina grabs Trish and pushes her to the floor*
*Mickie runs at Angelina and hits the Thesz Press, she winks at Trish who is then reminded of the days Mickie stalked her, she shivers and carries on. Kong grabs both Angelina and Mickie and throws them into the corner, she knees Angelina in the mid section, and presses both Love and James against the top rope. Trish stands there laughing, but Natalya comes in and hits a backbreaker, she starts applying the sharpshooter on Trish!!*
Raisha Saeed: Looks like she's showing Trish what it's like to be in the ring with a real wrestler
Torrie: Huh? But i wrestled with Trish
Raisha Saeed: Exactly
*Mickie, Angelina and Kong stare at Nattie with amazement and burst into fits of laughter. Mickie grabs Nattie off Trish and whispers something into her ear, she nods and grabs Angelna, they all lift up Kong and push her over the ropes. Mickie super kicks Nattie, knocking her out, she clutches Angelina, she hits the Tornado DDT and goes for the pin! Trish heaves herself over and counts; 1, 2, 3!!*
Tiffany: And here is your winner, and one of the contenders for the WEW Womens Championship, Mickie James!
*Mickie grabs Trish and kisses her. Kong furious, storms off backstage in a hunt for some Ben and Jerrys Ice Cream, whilst Natalya starts moaning saying she got screwed out of the title...shot. Angelina gets up, dazed and confused, she starts screaming at Trish, demanding a rematch. As Mickie is standing on the apron, Angelina grabs her Ankle and pulls her over. The girls start to fight as Trish trying to be a decent ref, tries to break it up, but fails miserably*
Raisha Saeed: Looks like Mickie has to carry Trish through something yet again
*Mickie pushes Angelina away and Angelina walks back in fury at the fact Mickie pinned her to gain the shot. She grabs the mic*
Angelina: Look Punk, if you're listening, i've got beef, and yes, yes I am talking about Mickie James, next week I want her, and not in the way Beth wants Kelly, I want Mickie one on one with her title shot chance on the line, you got that?
*Angelina drops the mic and storms off*
Raisha Saeed: Well, I guess that's it. Things next week could get very sticky, and not just in Jerry Lawlers pants as he watches at home. Goodnight Folks!