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The Story
Like before, the film opens up with showing what happened in the last film. In fact, we get the entire Jason's shack scene shown in it's entirety without any breaks. They finally give the viewer a reason to watch this part as they show Jason alive and moving. With that, cut to the disco music for the Friday theme. Yes, the theme was disco. Jason heads over to a house/grocery store of a married couple (No idea of the ages since the man seems in his 40's while his wife appears to be mid 20's playing an older woman). Jason steals some clothes and gets in a couple new kills to break in his new gear.
From there, we're introduced to the new cast. An odd ensemble if there ever was one. A former couple trying to see if their flame still burns, a dating couple who has a baby on the way, the blind date of a Latino girl with her Seth Rogan loser of a date and finally, Chong (Of Cheech and Chong) and his pot smoking better half. The ages of everyone is also unknown. The potheads appear to be in the their 30's while everyone else in the 20's. Everyone heads to Crystal Lake to smoke some pot and have some fun.
For Chris, our assumed heroine, it's a bitter sweet moment because of her past with the lake. You see, two years ago, she fell asleep in the woods and a man (Jason) attacked her. She blacked out and upon waking up, she was back in her bed. Did Jason put her back in bed? Parents come and get her? Did Jason rape her? We're never given a real answer. Going into town, Shelly and Vera (The Seth Rogan loser and Latino girl) stops to get some groceries. At a store, they encounter some bikers. To prove that he's a man, Shelly hits the motorcycles a couple of times and speeds away. The bikers aren't too happy so they eventually follow to perform some evil biker misdeeds to the camp/farm/whatever the place the group is staying at. However, Jason intersects them and has some fun with the moronic bikers.
One by one, the friends are killed off. Some random sex. More deaths. Back to Shelly, one of the main reasons why he's such a loser is because everyone hates him. He tends to love faking his death. It's during this night he puts on a hockey mask to scare his blind date into loving him. Shockingly, that doesn't work. However, what does work is Jason upon killing Shelly has a new mask to cover his grotesque face. Chris and Rick, her old farmer boyfriend (Why are there farms so close to a lake?) comes back to camp/farm/whatever this place is to find everyone dead. Rick quickly succumbs to the same fate. As for Chris, she realizes that this hockey mask wearing killer is the same guy who attacked her two years ago. How does she know? Well, Jason pulled up his mask and stuck out his tongue at her. A battle continues in the barn where there's hay, but there had never been any animals. Chris uses an ax to kill Jason just as the killer was "killed" in the last two movies. She then throws herself into a canoe and drifts off into the lake (Which is more like a 10 foot wide stream). She wakes up with several fake attacks only to realize her mind was playing tricks on her. Just then, Mrs. Voorhees pops out of the lake that is really just a 10 foot stream and attacks Chris. It turns out that that too was only a dream. The cops on the scene even informs us of that. We're shown one final glimpse of Jason dead.
The Characters Chris - The supposed heroine of the movie. She has some sort of past with Jason, but even she doesn't know what happened. Not likable and an odd choice for the main female lead.
What she brings to the movie: Jason is a rapist?
Rick - The dumb hick boyfriend of Chris. Seems to be a more manly version of Paul from Part 2, but the acting is too bland to care about.
What he brings to the movie: The longing to see Steve Christy in his cut off jean short shorts. At least that was funny.
Shelly - The Seth Rogan lookalike who has such low self esteem he feels the need to annoy everyone to get some attention. When told he's annoying, he informs us that it's better than being a nobody.
What he brings to the movie: The hockey mask.
Vera - This Latino seems to be interesting and a potentially good heroine, but her only real scenes is with Shelly. That instantly makes her part horrible.
What she brings to the movie: Flying arrow.
Andy and Debbie - The new sex couple in the series. Oddly, they're also expected parents which makes them a strange pick to be the oversexed ones.
What they bring to the movie: Hammock sex~!
Ali - The leader of the bikers. This black bad ass is the only one in this film that has a little charisma and personality.
What he brings to the movie: The first black man's death of the series.
Jason Voorhees - The deranged momma's boy killer is back to his mischief.
What he brings to the movie: The death to all of these annoying characters.
The Verdict
I have a soft spot in my heart for this movie. This was one of the first horror movies I can remember watching. However, it is a horrible movie with nothing making sense.
First off, the 3D nature of the movie takes away any scares when they're trying so hard to make things pop out of the movie. 3D may of been a popular fad in the 80's, but just because it's a fad doesn't make it a good idea. In 2009, it comes off as hokey and cheesy.
Another gripe would be the flashback. Part 3 was released just a year after Part 2. Are our memories so poor that we need to be shown the entire ending for the previous film? A few quick clips of the ending would of been enough (Although still unneeded), but why show the entire ending? The way these filmmakers are doing the flashbacks, it makes watching the previous film pointless.
Whenever you have a heroine of a movie, you need to be especially careful of how you write her character. Too boring or bitchy and people will want to see her die. Going for the sympathy route is good enough idea. However, what was the point of Chris' past with Jason? It just made everything more confusing and with it being the only thing that Chris was known for, the audience doesn't care about the lead. When you don't care about the lead, you don't care if the killer wins or not. If you don't care who wins, you have a movie that no one cares about. That...is a problem.
What makes this film pointless is how we've seen everything already. How is it that after just three movies, the writers are still doing the same things over and over? This is basically a remake with how much material was stolen from the first and second. Each movie has the same exact ending. Lead woman is the last one alive after boyfriend dies. Her and the killer fights it out and she somehow wins with a knife blow to the head area. She goes to a safe place, but the killer (Whether past, present or future) grabs her one last time that turns out to be a dream. The films end with the cops talking to each other detailing what happened. A good amount of the deaths are just previously done (Better) ones.
The only real reason to watch the movie is to see how Jason found his hockey mask. However, since we don't even see Jason grab the mask (One moment Shelly's wearing it and in the next scene Jason is wearing it) it's not even worth watching it for that.
The Extras Death Count: 12
(13 if you count the unborn baby that Debbie carried and 14 if you count Jason himself.)
Boob Count: 1
(The shots of them are never the focus of the camera.)
Best Kill: Vera
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