Originally Posted by The Brain
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A married man is having a beer at a bar before going home to his wife. A few of his friends show up, one thing leads to another, and it's 1:00 am by the time he decides to check the time. He's fall-down drunk, but realizes he's in deep shit with his wife.

On his way home, he goes to a 24-hour grocery store and picks up a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. He gets home, walks quietly through the front door, and heads to the bedroom. He cracks the bedroom door and sees the familiar leg of a soundly sleeping woman sticking out of the blankets. He decides to earn some extra brownie points.

He sidles over to the bed, sticks his head under the covers, and proceeds to orally service her like he's never done before. When he's finished, he steps into the adjoining bathroom to wash up, and, to his surprise, sees his wife standing at the sink.

"What the hell are you doing in here?!", he screams. His wife replies, "Shhh, you'll wake your mother."